


Within Reach

by tiredandalone



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Blood, Child Abuse, College AU, Emotional Manipulation, Flirting, Gay Disaster Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Graphic Description, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Mild Blood, Panic Attacks, Rejection, Serious Injuries, Slow Burn, Swearing, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Underage Drinking, Verbal Abuse, Violence, abondonment (kinda?), innuendos, toxic thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2020-09-01 17:22:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 37
Words: 77,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20261755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiredandalone/pseuds/tiredandalone
Summary: Virgil is a quiet, anxiety prone teenager who basically sticks with his two best friends; Remy and Damien. But after Remy meets a loud charismatic teen and introduces him to their group Virgil may not be as closed off as he would like to be, and this stranger may be hiding more than he lets on.





	1. First day

**Author's Note:**

> I know the titles a little cheesy but I don’t know what to call it, hope you all like this. It is my first fanfiction and I originally wrote it just for me to indulge in this au, however I decided to post it because, meh why not? -\\_(^¬^)_/- 
> 
> Enjoy!

Virgil smiled as he walked down the stairs rubbing the sleep from his eyes. His parents sat on the couch each with a cup of coffee. His dad spotted him first, giving him a brilliant smile while wearing his veterinary uniform, ready to head out in around twenty minutes for his shift. That triggered his father to look over his shoulder and greet him, Virgil wasn’t surprised to see him already in his black polo shirt and blue tie, being a university professor meant he had to be in work later than his husband but he still got changed early in the morning, ever the punctual one, “Good morning Virgil, I trust you had a pleasant rest, there are pancakes on the counter for your breakfast” he said shifting his thick rimmed glasses up his nose and smiling a less enthusiastic smile, but one that carried the same level of love. 

Virgil only nodded to the two of them while yawning and making his way to the kitchen. His dad set down his overly sweetened cup of coffee and jumped up to follow his tired son, once in the kitchen Patton hugged Virgil tightly and turned the younger to look at him. “I know it’s a big day for you today, new school, new chapter in your life! But if you don’t feel up to it, me and your father perfectly understand and if you wanted to give it a few da-” he rambled before his son cut him off chuckling.

“Dad, I’ll be fine, I’ve got Remy and Dee there already, I’ve had all summer to panic, I’m ok now”. His dad looked at him lovingly.

“Well… As long as you’re sure kiddo! If you want to come home though, call me and I’ll come and get you ok?” he said earnestly, Virgil nodded and moved to grab a few pancakes from the large pile. He could hear, as his dad left the room, his father comforting him and assuring him their son would be fine. He smiled to himself as he listened to their exchange.

After getting ready Virgil grabbed him backpack and headphones and once again made his way downstairs. Both his parents were waiting for him by the door. His dad rushed forward and gave him an engulfing hug, he pulled back and held Virgil’s face between his hands, “Look at my boy! You’re so big now! Going off to college, becoming an adult, where has the time gone? Have a fantastic day! I love you so much kiddo!” he said giggling and kissing his son on the forehead. 

Virgil chuckled “Love you too dad.” After being released by his dad, Virgil turned to his father who was standing tall, looking slightly awkward after the grand display of affection from his partner. He cleared his throat “Have an enjoyable day Virgil, if you have any issues don’t hesitate to contact one of us… I am extremely proud of you.” He finished, smiling a bit. Virgil smirked and hugged him quickly. The logical man froze for a second. Regaining his thoughts, he hugged his son back as he said quietly “Now go before your dad insists on driving you there. He recently added more songs onto his playlist, and you know his tendency to play Disney at extraordinary volumes.” He smiled as he pulled back to see an offended look from his husband. The anxious teen only laughed and waved as he walked out the door and down the street towards his new school. Pulling his headphones on, he let his mind wander to what the intimidating building may have to offer him.

-

Virgil had met Remy Picani through the eccentric, yet lovable, Dr Emile Picani. Virgil had gone to the cartoon obsessed therapist in his last years at high school. His parents thought it would help him work through his anxiety, they had been looking for months for a therapist that suited Virgil’s needs and their son felt comfortable talking to. However, none of them seemed to fit the bill. Until one of Logan’s work colleagues had suggested the Doctor, they explained that they had the same issue with their child Elliot, but after visiting Picani they noticed a huge difference in their behaviour. The two parents had brought 14-year-old Virgil to the clinic and sat nervously in the waiting room. 

When Virgil emerged, he was smiling, genuinely smiling for the first time in a long while, and chatting with a cardigan and pink tie clad man about gravity falls. The two exchanged a look and instantly knew they had found the one. 

Virgil began seeing Picani on a regular basis, including some emergency appointments when things got too much. But over the course of just a few months, Virgil had become less secluded, happier, bubblier, and the two couldn’t be prouder to see their son growing.

One day after a longer session, Virgil walked into the waiting room to see a boy around his own age, with orange died wavy hair, a black leather jacket and sunglasses sitting on his phone sipping Starbucks. Before Virgil could say anything the boy looked up from his phone and smirked “Hey there babes, you’ve just been speaking to my dad, right? Hope he didn’t overwhelm you with references” he chuckled to himself. 

“Uh- no, no Dr Picani’s great” he said, taken aback a little. The leather wearing boy stood up extended a matching orange nail painted hand and spoke “I’m Remy honey, nice to meet you. What do they call you?” 

Virgil hesitated for a second, but Picani had always advised him to take small steps that challenge his fears a little at a time, speaking to strangers was one of them. He took his hand and shook it slightly “Virgil, or Verge nice to meet you too.”

Since that moment the two had been inseparable. Virgil had supported Remy through his seemingly endless pursuit of his crush, Damien Anguis, and Remy had supported him through coming out as gay. Remy’s house became a second home to him, Picani was just as helpful outside of work hours, as was his son. They both had a knack for weaselling a problem out of someone and providing solutions. 

-

Virgil lowered his headphones as he heard his name being screamed from the school gates. Remy stood in black jeans, a green crop top, black leather jacket and his signature sunglasses waving frantically as the boy next to him tried and failed to quieten him. 

Damien Anguis had been introduced to the duo’s friendship later on, but fitted in perfectly, despite his relationship with Remy he actively tried to make sure Virgil didn’t feel like a third wheel, he also had a lot in common with the emo. He liked the same music, which meant he could discuss it without Remy and his “yeah, but it’s not Beyoncé good is it?”. The two got along well, and the three became closer throughout the school year. It was the first time Virgil was looking forward to school starting again. 

As he approached Remy became more exited and began running towards him shouting “Girl! I’ve missed you! I’ve already heard about 2 parties that are happenin’ this weekend, you are so coming!” he squealed lifting his glasses on top of his head. Virgil greeted him rolling his eyes. “Hello to you too Rem” he made his way to the gates where an annoyed boy stood looking as if he wanted to crawl inside his beanie and stay there. “Did you have to scream Remy? Everyone’s totally not looking at us” Damien said sarcastically. While eyeing a group of boys all staring at them with confusion and amusement. 

“Let them stare! All they will be seeing is some pretty gays” he chuckled kissing his boyfriend quickly on the cheek “…and Virgil” he smirked.

Virgil rolled his eyes “You two are gross, come on let’s get inside, this place looks huge” he grabbed them both by the arm and dragged them towards the intimidating doors.


	2. A new arrival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you all will guess who’s about to be introduced, but let me have my big reveal dang nabbit! This chapter does have a bit of homophobia in it, and some hinted angst

Throughout the next few weeks the trio settled into their new lives as college students. They claimed a table in the canteen as their own and slowly learned the layout of the campus. It didn’t take long for the new students to be assigned their labels and expected friends.

Remy- loud, sassy. Friends with girls. **The caffeinated gay.**

Damien- athletic, bossy, sarcastic. Friends with boys. **The jock.**

Virgil- quiet, awkward, anxious. Friends with no one. **The emo.**

The three quickly got used to their stereotypes, as well as everyone else’s. It was as cliquey as you could get: The popular girls; the nerds; the skater kids. However, the most prominent were the self-appointed bullies. Mostly consisting of jocks and led by the most feather brained kid at Sanders Academy, Matthew Abbot. If you wanted to talk fitting the mould this guy was it and more. Wore exclusively Leatherman jackets and jeans, already part of every sports team, very self-centred and had confidence to spare. Much like Damien, except that Matthew used his spare time terrorizing others.

The three unlikely friends had their lives sorted out. It was perfect, their classes aligned and any extracurriculars didn’t interfere with their shared time. Damien had all of his sports clubs on afternoons were Virgil and Remy were both in classes, he said he found exercise a good way to expel his excess anger. Admittedly Remy and Virgil spent the most time together, neither of them opted for any clubs aside from the mandatory study sessions. Meaning they were almost always joined at the hip.

On the other hand, none of them could escape the mocking, tormenting attention of their peers.

Obviously, Remy being the flamboyant attention seeker he was, attracted the unwanted opinions of the bigots around him. Anywhere he went, whether it be hallways, classrooms or in the quad, he would be met with the shouts of “Fag!” “Fairy!” “Dyke!”. However, the coffee lover was not deterred by this, his dad was a therapist after all, so he was able to express his feelings healthily, but the shouts and remarks never failed to dampen his mood.

Virgil’s struggles were expected. Because of his jittery nature and preference to stay in the shadows, he received the nickname ‘anxiety’. His love of makeup also drew attention to him, never seen without his foundation and eyeshadow, he got the same remarks as Remy did. He didn’t possess any of Remy’s sass or Damien’s strength so he couldn’t defend himself the way the others could. Meaning he was pushed, tripped and shoved more than the other two.

Damien was a bit different. Due to the teen having vitiligo covering half of his face in splotches, the more hurtful youths had taken to calling him ‘snake face’ or simply ‘snake’. It was bold of them to use his condition against him but he never took it to heart. He knew he could defend himself if push came to shove, as did everyone else. Due to when Damien knocked out one of the other athletes after he called Remy a particularly colourful insult within the first week. So, he was not really affected by the name. He defended Remy and Virgil as much as he could, and the two did receive less glares and comments when he was with them.

-

They were all seated in the canteen, Remy practically draped over Damien’s lap while he played with his boyfriend’s hair. Virgil was silently eating his food, smirking as he heard the couple argue.

“But Baaaabeeee~” Remy whined, Starbucks in hand.

Dee sighed and rolled his eyes “For the last time no, I'm not gonna help you dye your hair AGAIN. You literally dyed it green a week ago”

“But I'm bored of it now! It’s so drab!” Remy said sitting up and running a hand through his dark green locks. He perked up and turned to Virgil “Virgie- “

“Absolutely no way.” Virgil cut him off “I helped you dye it blue a while back, my floor still has the stain. Besides you’re gonna ruin your hair if you keep dying every week” he smirked “But why do you need help anyways? Aren’t you able to dye your own hair?”

Remy pouted and stuck his tongue out at him. He was about to launch into his whining and begging again when a shout from behind them got their attention.

“Snake!”

Damien rolled his eyes “What do you want Matthew?” he spoke without turning around

“Gym. Now. Football try-out meeting. Trust me snake face-” Remy glared daggers at him “-I wouldn’t be here unless I had to be, in my opinion I don’t think there is any point in you trying out anyway. With your whole…look, no team would want you playing for them” he laughed smacking Damien on the shoulder a bit too hard to be considered friendly.

Virgil piped up “Yeah but no one asked for your opinion, did they?”

Matthew’s smile dropped “No one asked for you to put that crap on your face but here we are, freak” he glared and walked away before any of them could punch him.

Damien sighed again “I hate that he’s the captain of the team” he grumbled standing up kissing Remy on the head “I’ll meet you outside the art block okay?” he smiled lightly turning and walking towards the gym.

Remy smiled as he watched him leave. He jumped slightly as the moment was interrupted by a signature beep from his phone. He quickly opened it and grinned. Noticing the confused glance from his friend his smile faltered slightly.

“I kinda have something to tell you?” he said apprehensively.

Virgil grew nervous. What could Remy have to tell him? what if something bad happened? What if Remy finally realised what an annoyance he was? What if-

“Now don’t go overthinking that!” Remy stated, halting the emo’s spiralling mind. “I have a friend who is starting here today, they just text me that they’ve arrived” he said holding up his phone. “And I know you don’t really like people so I thought I’d tell you and see if you’re up for meeting them? Like, right now?” he smiled hopefully.

“Why are they starting weeks after everyone else?” he asked suspiciously.

“Some issue with the school letting him know he was accepted or something” Remy waved his hand dismissively. “Will you come greet them with me?”

Virgil thought for a moment. Remy being the social butterfly he was, it was expected that he would meet other people. He was on speaking terms with almost everyone in the school already. Sure, it was a little unexpected, but Remy would only class someone as a ‘friend’ if they fit certain criteria. He took a breath, making his decision.

“Sure” he shrugged.

Remy sat back, “Really? Your certain honey? It’s not like you to voluntarily interact with people” he smirked.

“Yeah, I mean if this person passed your friend test, then they’ve gotta be at least a decent human being. But how did you meet them? Normally you’re worse than me at going outside”

Remy glared at him for a moment before casting his mind back to when he met his new accomplice

-

It was a week into school, Remy was tired and already bored of it. He sat on the couch in his dad’s office’s waiting room. He was lying on it with his head in the middle of the seat and his legs swinging over the arm. Scrolling through his phone he waited for his dad to be finished. He would go home himself, but he forgot his keys in his rush that morning. If it was a choice between grabbing his keys or his Starbucks then starbies would **_always_** come first.

He was mildly paying attention to the countless Instagram makeup videos, when a voice caught his attention. It wasn’t coming from his dad’s office but rather the next one along. Dr…. Swan? he vaguely remembered his dad talking about the other therapist. His expertise was more on the conversion side. It was a miracle the man kept receiving patients. Remy looked around the room, sure enough there was the aforementioned ‘therapist’s’ poster advertising his services.

_ If your child/relative needs expert help in fighting the demons inside them, then call Dr Swan and arrange a meeting. Services start from $70 per session._

More religious than anything else the man seemed set on ‘curing’ all people who were forced through his door. Remy had seen a few people come out of his door, they all looked broken and sad. Worse than when they went in.

His dad had tried to get the patients to come to him rather than Swan, but to no avail. Remy felt sorry for the teens forced into his office, being convinced that what they are, was wrong.

Remy’s eyes returned to his screen and he more heard rather than saw the patient coming down the corridor. It was the tone of voice that they were using that caught Remy’s attention, timid, apprehensive, scared even.

“yes…yes I’ll be home in 10 minutes…I understand but-… I’m sorry, yes…goodb-” the newcomer sighed defeatedly. Remy looked up to get a better view of them.

He was greeted by the sight of a boy, about his own age, with light brown hair, wearing blue jeans and a red flight jacket over a white t-shirt. He was looking down at his phone sadly before shaking himself and making his way to the door. The boy didn’t even seem to notice Remy sitting on the couch. As he passed, Remy caught a glimpse of his phone case. A black silhouette of a man with his fist in the air on top of a star. A symbol he knew very well.

Just as the stranger was about to leave the building Remy called out “Dying is easy young man, living is harder.” Any introduction was better than none right? He heard the footsteps stop and looked up to see the boy looking at him both confused and amused.

“You… you know Hamilton?” he questioned

“Know it? Baby, I love it!” Remy chuckled standing up and making his way towards the other. “And I take it you are also versed in breath-taking musicals?”

Remy was happy to hear a genuine laugh come from the boy “You have no idea,” he said.

“Have you been to see it? I went last year with my dad, god it was spectacular-” Remy began

“um... I’d love to stay and talk, trust me I would, but I have to be somewhere” he said scratching the back of his neck.

“Of course! Here’s my number, we can talk musicals any time you want” Remy smiled and put his number into the other’s phone. “Nice to meet you, I'm Remy honey” he said sticking out his hand.

With a moment’s hesitation, the boy smiled and shook the outstretched arm. “Pleasure”

-

Virgil nodded “Yep… that’s you alright. No ‘hello’ no ‘excuse me’ straight in there with a musical quote.”

He chuckled. “Excuse me! It seemed a good way to get his attention!” Remy crossed his arms annoyed

“Whatever, yeah let’s go meet this guy. By the way what’s his name?” Virgil asked, standing up from his spot.

Remy grabbed his arm and practically dragged him out of the hall, “It’s Roman! Roman Prince!”


	3. Sparks fly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one guys! I did debate splitting it up, but I just wasn't sure where. hope you all enjoy it regardless!

Roman sat on a bench clutching his satchel tightly, he texted Remy 7 minutes ago. Not that he was counting, where was he? Roman did come to the right school, didn’t he? No, that’s stupid, of course he did. But what if Remy was pulling an elaborate prank on him? Maybe he was filming him right now! He was probably sat behind a wall giggling to himself as he videoed the sad lost kid on the bench. 

Roman glanced over his shoulder self-consciously. ‘Breathe. Everything is fine. Remy is coming and will be here soon.’ He thought. He still couldn’t help the feeling of every face he saw walking past, judging him. He shook himself and tightened his grip on the strap of his bag. His other hand moved down to fiddle with the badges that decorated the front. He tried to distract his mind by guessing what pin he felt. There were mostly musical pins on there, but a few random ones he found cute or funny. 

“Roman!” 

A familiar sassy voice caught his attention. He smiled and breathed a sigh of relief as he turned around. 

“There you are! I was beginning to think you had abandoned me, my friend!” Roman greeted, hugging the slightly smaller boy and laughing. 

“Nah girl, I just had to convince someone to join me!” he smirked before stepping aside to reveal Virgil stood looking as if he would rather be in bed. 

Roman thought this tiny human was quite interesting. He stood slouched, so probably wasn’t as small as he was trying to be. His clothes were a mixture of black and very dark purple, from his jacket, to his shirt, to his black doc martins with purple plaid laces. His hair stood out however, it was bright, almost neon, purple. It hung over his eyes in a way that shielded most of the light but cast a dramatic shadow non the less. Roman appreciated the fashion statement. His breath caught in his throat and his mouth dropped slightly as he noticed the makeup present on the other’s face. His eyes were covered in eyeliner, but with a smoky grey and black look. It was magnificent, he could see the flecks of purple in the eyeshadow and it took his breath away, he could only dream of achieving that amount of drama in something so simple as eyeshadow. 

On the other side, Virgil was equally stunned. He didn’t expect this but he wasn’t complaining. He was expecting another antisocial nuisance, as that seemed to be Remy’s preferred choice in friends. But this guy looked as if he stepped straight out of a Disney movie. His hair looked like caramel in the daylight, it was pushed back in a style that had either took 5 minutes or an hour. His smile was charming and flirtatious, he dressed like a character in high school musical. Blue jeans, light t-shirt, and a satchel covered in pins over his shoulder. Virgil’s eyes came back up to the face of the stranger, they were the most electric shade of green, but looking closely he saw specks of gold and brown mixed in. They were captivating; he couldn’t look away. 

Bringing them both out of the moment, Remy clapped his hands “Okay enough checking each other out, Virgil this is Prince Charming, Roman… Raging ball of angst” 

Both parties rolled their eyes and Roman extended a hand “Nice to finally meet you Virgil, Remy has told me a lot” he smiled exquisitely. 

Virgil hesitated before taking Roman’s hand in his own “Ditto, honestly I'm surprised, I was expecting another menace to society, but you’re like a Disney prince” he smirked. 

Virgil tried to keep his composure, grasping Roman’s hand sent shivers through his body, and he could feel his cheeks heating up. He just prayed to all the deities he knew that the white foundation he was wearing masked it. 

Roman positively beamed at the compliment “Thank you very much, princely is what I was going for” he said as he ran a hand through his hair. 

Remy chuckled “As much as I would love to stay here and chat, Ro we have a class together, we don’t wanna be late” Remy linked arms with him and turned to Virgil, “Meet you outside the school gates to go get ice cream k?” 

Virgil only nodded as he turned on his heel giving a two fingered salute and walking towards his next class. 

Roman watched the emo walk away before being manhandled by Remy and dragged towards the theatre. Remy began talking “I think you two are gonna get on like a house on fire! You should come with us all after school! Oh, that reminds me I need to introduce you to Dee-” Roman could hear Remy talking but didn’t pay attention.

Both Roman and Virgil were left breath taken 

-

After the day had ended, Roman walked out of the classroom, he smiled at the day he had had. Yes, he started a bit later than others but he already seemed to be ok with most of the students he met. He was happy he had Remy though, Virgil seemed like he would need a little getting used to, and this Damien seemed a bit shady, but it seemed like he would enjoy his unlikely group of friends. 

He heard a beep from his phone and looked down, he had gotten a text from…

His girlfriend?!

Roman couldn’t help the excited smile that played on his face as he read the text. It was short and a tad rude but Roman didn’t mind in the slightest. 

‘at the mall, pick me up” 

Roman hadn’t spoken his girlfriend, Amber, in almost a week, and they hadn’t seen each other in nearly three. She was one of his oldest friends from high school, then the flirting started and Amber had announced him as her boyfriend, he couldn’t have been happier.

His joy stilled for a moment as he spotted Remy, Virgil and someone who he assumed to be Damien, judging by the way Remy was hanging off of his arm, at the gates. He had agreed to get ice cream with them after school. 

But this was more important, he made up his mind. Sending two texts he walked to his car. 

To Remy he simply said,

‘sorry rem, got something to do so can’t get ice cream with you guys, c u tomoz’ 

And to Amber 

‘of course, my darling! Which mall?’ 

He sighed as he watched Remy get the text from the gates, he talked to Virgil for a bit and the group collectively frowned but began to walk away, meaning Roman could get away without them noticing and interrogating him. 

He heard the beep again and looked down to another short text 

‘arcade. Don’t be late’ 

He drooped, the arcade was a good forty minutes away, Amber got annoyed if she was waiting for more than twenty minutes for a ride. He had been out enough times with her to know her frustration at getting a taxi. 

He sighed, well if he drove quick enough and took a few shortcuts he was sure he could be there in time. He put his foot down and began racing to pick her up.

-

His breath caught in his throat as he pulled up beside Amber, he got a glimpse of her face as she threw her shopping bags in the back of his car. It was not happy to say the least.  
His heart dropped. 

She jumped in, slamming the door behind her “You’re late” she said quietly, pulling out her phone. 

He immediately launched into his rehearsed apology. 

“I'm so sorry Amber! It’s just I got out of school at three and the traffic was really bad- “ 

She cut him off with her hand “School?” 

He was caught off guard and answered quietly “y-yeah…I um I told you I… I go to Sanders Academy now. It’s a long way away and I didn’t know you’d be so far-” he died down after she gave him a look that sent fear down his spine. 

They drove to Amber’s house in silence. 

-

As they pulled up outside, Roman was thinking of ways to apologise and had had an epiphany, he and Amber had never actually kissed. They had cuddled before but never kissed properly. Maybe it would help the situation and make up for his blunder. 

He looked at Amber apprehensively before moving her face towards his. His heart fluttered slightly as he slowly closed his eyes, they were millimetres away, he could practically hear the romantic music, just one more move forward and they would be-

He was pulled out of the moment by hands on his chest pushing him away. 

“Bad idea… My boyfriend wouldn’t like that” 

Roman could hear his heart cracking. “Wh-…I… b-boyfriend?” he stuttered. 

“Yeah…we’ve been together for about a month and-“ Amber looked at Roman’s face, studying it for a moment “… wait… did you- did you think… that we were together?” she asked pulling back and eyeing him suspiciously. 

Roman sat back in his chair head bowed staring at his lap. He fidgeted with his fingers while nodding, trying to hold back tears. 

Amber snapped. 

“Oh my god Roman! What the hell? We were never together! Yes, maybe I was a bit flirty! But what’s that between a girl and her gbf? Why can you never take a joke? What the hell is wrong with you?!” she yelled putting her head in her hand. 

Roman tried to hold all his emotions in “g-gbf?” 

“Gay. Best. Friend. That’s all you are- no wait sorry, WERE to me! Nothing more! We had a few laughs, we pretended to date for fun! I thought I made that very clear Ro. What in god’s name made you think I was ever into you?” she asked turning to him. Roman couldn’t answer for fear of allowing the tears to fall. 

“Huh? You don’t have answer? Well I’ll tell you why! You are emotional as hell, you can’t take a joke, you’re so eccentric and weird and most of all you’re way too flamboyant for a guy!” 

Roman hunched in on himself, hearing all his flaws being listed so easily hurt him like a dagger to his chest. “f-flamboyant?” he asked. 

Amber sighed “Uh yeah! What is it that you call yourself? …pi?” 

Roman quietly corrected her “b-bi” 

“That’s it! You’re too bi” 

Roman looked at her confused. 

“Do I have to spell it out for you!? Gay Roman. You act really gay!”

The words hung in the air between the two. She racked a hand down her face “You know what?” she spoke softly “Maybe us being friends wasn’t as fun as I thought it’d be… bye Roman, don’t text me” 

And with that final thought, she got out of the car, grabbed her bags, and walked inside her house. 

Roman sat there, he didn’t watch her go, he just stared at his lap while his brain sped at a hundred miles an hour. He questioned everything, their friendship, their interactions with each other, himself.

After a minute he snapped out of his head and drove home in silence. Usually he would at least have the radio on, if not his playlist. But right now, he had no inclination to listen to anything. Which left just him, and his thoughts.

-

As he pulled up to his own house, he finally let the tears fall, ugly fat tears that shook his whole body, he rested his head on the steering wheel and just sobbed as he went through phases of his sadness. First pain, then anger, guilt, confusion and finally settling on a dull ache in his chest. It wasn’t just the thought of losing her, it was the fact that all of his flaws had been listed so easily. Amber was a nice girl, he knew that much. So, for her to be able to list all the wrong things about him, just hurt. There were no other words for it… it just hurt.

He dragged himself out of the car, and made the journey to his room, collapsing on his bed, tear stains still prominent on his cheeks. 

A knock on his door startled him. 

His brother was standing in the doorway, giving him a look of fake concern. 

“A little birdie told me that someone’s girlfriend just broke up with them” Remus said in a sad tone. Try as he might, Roman’s twin could not keep the glint of laughter from his eyes. He came and sat next to Roman putting a hand on his brother’s shoulder. The younger of the two flinched slightly at the touch. 

“It’s ok, little brother. You will find someone” he began, Roman looked up at him, shocked at his brother’s uncharacteristically kind and compassionate words. “Someone perfect for you” Remus carded a hand through his brother’s hair soothingly, Roman sat up and relaxed at his soft tone. “Someone who is… just as broken… just as annoying… just as pathetic as you are” he finished giggling at the look he received from Roman. Hurt, shock, betrayal. It was hilarious! Roman screwed up his face and with all his strength pushed Remus off of his bed, he needed to be as far away from his brother as possible right now. 

Remus landed with a loud thud. Roman froze. Then immediately started apologising “Remus, I'm so sorry, please don’t, plea- “

Remus began to laugh maniacally. 

“I'm sure mommy and daddy will love to hear your reason for interrupting them…” he stood up, drinking in his brother’s terrified expression. He began to walk out, just before reaching the door he paused and said “Oh by the way, they’re both chock full of booze-” he stopped as they both heard thundering footsteps climbing the stairs “Good luck Roro” he smirked before disappearing. 

Romans utter fear caused tears to begin falling again. He hid his face in his pillows and shook as he heard the footsteps stop at his door.


	4. Seeing red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok! So apparently my brain decided to make this chapter just as long as the last, I'm sorry to anyone who doesn’t like the longer chapters! Anyway, some homophobia in this, just a smidge at the end, a well as some internalised homophobia. Wow, I had issues with this chapter. It was rough, trust me guys, multiple re-writes, different approaches. A good 4 weeks spent on this, but I hope you enjoyed it regardless.

Roman suddenly sat up hearing his alarm beep obnoxiously. He had been on edge all night and barely got any sleep. He ran a hand through his hair and after turning off his alarm sat for a moment staring straight ahead, trying to gather his thoughts. 

He took a deep breath and got out of bed, robotically he began getting himself ready, opting for some grey sweatpants and a large worn red hoodie, instead of his usual jeans and a shirt. He looked in the mirror and took in the dark bags under his eyes.

He sat down at his dressing table and got out his supplies. If Roman knew one thing, it was how to cover marks. 

He applied the makeup slowly, allowing himself to get lost in the feeling. Halfway through his routine, he turned on his music, sighing happily as he heard the sad but powerful tones of Dear Evan Hansen. 

After finishing his makeup, he grabbed his bag and headed for the door. He shuffled quickly and quietly past the kitchen where he saw his mother making coffee, he kept his head down and picked up speed to make it to the door. He could not deal with any interrogation; Remus had definitely let it slip about Amber by now. 

His parents had been so happy when he told them about her. They were relieved that their son was “acting normal again” to use their words. He knew where they stood on him saying he was bi, he came out once, they ignored it. It was never outright mentioned again, aside from a few pointed comments here and there, his family treated it as he expected them to, a phase. 

After a while Roman had actually started believing them, he had only had one boyfriend, and that was years ago, when he was only thirteen. He began to look back on it with a bitter attitude. Regretting ever asking him out and allowing his age convince him it was fine. But he was older now, and surely that phase had passed. Of course, it passed. He was happy with a girl, and that was all that mattered…right?

He breathed a sigh of relief as he got outside, pulling himself from his thoughts. He assumed his brother had already headed out to work. Remus had decided to quit school last year and somehow got himself a job at a high-end sales store. Yet another thing his parents brought up to compare the twins. 

He pulled the hood up over his head. He was sure he looked awful. Yes, he really did try with his makeup this morning, Virgil may have been an inspiration, but doubts filled his mind. He couldn’t help hanging his head lower, he didn’t want the rest of the world to see how bad he looked. He had an audience, he performed for them, he became who they moulded him into, changing with their new demands and preferences but today… today he just couldn’t keep up the act to the degree he wanted. 

He approached the school gates a little later than normal, there was barely any one around, he was sort of looking forward to slip into the building without being noticed, no one had to see his hideous face or deal with his crumbling disguise.

“Hey Roman! Hurry up!” 

That was until he did look up and see Remy, Virgil and Damien all standing looking to him. 

What? 

Why on earth where they here? Shouldn’t they be in school by now? Why are they standing in the cold with no one else around? 

“Come on Ro, we’ve been waiting for you” Remy said sighing good naturedly and wrapping an arm around his shoulders once he got close enough.

“Wh-what?” 

Virgil spoke next “we’ve been stood here for half an hour Princey, how long did you spend in front of the mirror?” he teased.

“Why though? Why didn’t you just go inside? It surely would have been easier” his eyes swept over the group with genuine confusion. 

Damien crossed his arms and fixed Roman with a stare “You are friends with Remy, right?” he said in an even tone. 

Roman looked to Remy, “…yes” 

“Virgil enjoyed your, albeit limited, company yesterday, did you enjoy his?” 

Roman shifted his gaze to the emo, who looked a little uncomfortable having being dragged into Damien’s point. Roman didn’t have a problem answering that.

“Well… yes” 

“And I want to get to know you more, therefore you are part of this friendship group. I don’t know what friends you had before, but we wait for each other, we are there for each other, we support each other. And now, you are included in that.” 

He looked at them all, they stood with varying degrees of confusion but appreciation and pride, at least on Remy and Virgil’s part. 

“Now if we are done questioning why we are here, can we go inside?” despite asking, Damien turned on his heel and began swiftly walking towards the entrance. 

“Questioning? Babe that was lecturing!” Remy laughed, quickly catching up to his boyfriend. 

Virgil gave an amused huff, and turned to Roman, “he’s right Princey, you’re with us now… whether you like it or not” he smiled kindly and grabbed his arm. “now come on” 

Roman brought his gaze to his feet and smiled. 

Friends. 

He could get used to that. 

-

Roman sat in the canteen surrounded by laughter from both Remy and Virgil. He vaguely heard, Virgil insult Damien. But that was about it.

It had been a week and Roman still felt down. He couldn’t get over what happened, he couldn’t do anything to distract himself either. Any time he went to draw, paint, compose, create, nothing came to him. He was used to creative blocks, but never ones that lasted this long. They were over in a day and then he was back to his whimsical self. But this one was different; he just lay in his bed for hours. Shifting between crying, listening to music and scrolling through his phone. He couldn’t even bring himself to read any of his fantasy books or old scripts. He only ever came out of his room for meals, in which he sat completely silent. Not that his family noticed nor cared. 

He had his head in his hand and his hood up staring off to nothing in particular as the trio all laughed around him. His mind shifted from thought to thought. Not letting him fixate on one for more than a minute. 

Some where ideas for art, stories, music he could make, so at least he wasn’t completely blocked now. But every time an idea came to him that he deemed worthy, it was gone in an instant. He had been drifting in and out of his head for days, whenever he was jolted back to reality his mood dropped a little. 

His teachers had noted the difference and not taken kindly to it, he had received three detentions for not paying attention, in a way he was relived because it was time he would spend in silence and away from his house, but it still felt like a stab to his heart each time he was to be prompted to pay attention. 

All in all, Roman felt useless and inferior at that moment. 

That was where his mind was at that point. He was surrounded by joy, yes. But all he could hear in his head was the cold, uncaring tone Amber had used with him that night. It brought tears to his eyes, maybe she was right? Maybe he was too flamboyant and emotional. It would explain why no one approached him in his previous school. Everyone just wanted to avoid the messed-up theatre kid. Didn’t want to get wrapped up his issues. Didn’t want to waste their time on a lost cause. 

He heard the laughter die down and be replaced with silence. He looked back to the group, he guessed they were getting ready to leave. But seeing all their concerned faces, quickly thwarted that assumption. Virgil had one ear bud in and an eyebrow raised looking at him nervously. Remy had a similar expression, though it was hard to tell from behind his sunglasses. Damien looked bored as per usual but there was a hint of concern that seeped through non the less. 

Where they staring at him? He hadn’t done anything wrong had he? No, he hasn’t spoken to them since the beginning of lunch…’act natural Roman’ he thought, maybe he just didn’t hear them or something. 

“Uh… you good?” Roman asked, attempting to rebuild his façade as quickly as possible. He had an audience and a role to play after all.

“I think we should be asking you that question Ro” Damien spoke, as ever the first to speak his mind. 

“I'm fine! What gave the impression I was anything other than?” He spoke loudly chuckling. 

“You were staring off with this sort of…” Remy gestured with his hands to try and come up with the right words. “…lost look, honey” he finished, pulling his sunglasses off his nose and placing them on his head. 

“Oh! I-it was nothing… just…thinking” He glanced away. Was he that obvious? Damn he had to work on his acting more, if everyone saw through him that easily.

“Thinking? About what?” Virgil said pulling his ear buds out completely. 

Roman froze, what can he say? He scoured his mind looking for something to say. Anything Roman! Any little lie will do! 

He spoke waving his hand dismissively “…just some homework I had to comple- “ 

“Nope. Try again” Damien said not looking away from Roman. 

Roman stared at him confused. (there seemed to be a lot of that today) 

“I probably should mention, I read people well, specifically when someone is lying. So, try again” He motioned for Roman to keep talking. 

Well, there was his entire plan out the window. He couldn’t lie. He sighed, he was proud to have kept his situation a secret for this length of time however, he was a man of honour after all, and part of that was admitting when he was defeated. 

“My girlfriend broke up with me a week ago” He said quietly looking at his hands. He waited to gauge the others responses. 

None of the three said anything at first, but they were all thinking the same thing. ‘This is guy is **straight**?!’ 

After a moment Remy spoke. “That’s rough Roman, was there a reason?”

This time Roman spoke even softer, he didn’t want to say it out loud “We were never actually dating apparently. When she introduced me as her boyfriend, it was meant as a joke.” 

Roman could feel the tears prick the corners of his eyes. It still hurt, of course it did. “She said I acted too gay for her” 

He was met with silence. 

“Geeze what a cow.” He heard Virgil say under his breath. He winced. He still loved Amber, even after what she said to him. And he would not have her spoken about in such a way.

“Virgil” Damien said forcefully attempting to stop him from continuing. He saw the reaction Roman gave at the emo’s comment.

“What? I'm not wrong, this girl insulted him”

Roman closed his eyes.

“crushed him” 

He felt anger rising in his chest. 

“told him they were dating as a joke” 

He growled lightly 

“and then broke up with him. That’s not okay!” 

He felt the tears dry as his whole body seethed with irritation.

“Maybe you’d be better off dating a guy” he quipped chuckling.

Roman saw red.

“What is that supposed to mean?” he snapped.

“Wow, what was that for?... it meant nothing I was just trying to lighten the mood.” 

Roman lost his temper and stood up, pointing at Virgil “Mind your own business god damn it! You never know when to shut your mouth do you?” he snarled. 

“Roman stop” Damien said loudly, he knew Roman didn’t mean any of this. He was just angry. 

“You can shut up too snake! All of you need to just leave me alone! This is why no one else joins this group! You all stick your noses where they don’t belong, no wonder everyone hates you!” 

“Leave” Virgil growled at him. One thing he wouldn’t stand was Remy and Damien being insulted.

“Probably the best idea you have had today, brad pitiful. Oh, and just in case you were wondering” He hissed the last phrase “I am not a **fag**.” With that he pushed past Virgil and stormed to the door. All of them being watched by amused faces. 

Virgil watched Roman leave before collapsing back onto his seat. Remy had started to sob, holding onto Damien, who was trying to comfort his boyfriend. 

“What the heck just happened” Virgil mumbled; he too began to tear up. He shouldn’t care what Roman thought he was just another bigoted kid who wasn’t worth the time of day. 

But that wasn’t how Virgil saw him. This was a new Roman, a completely different person from the one he met just over a week ago. He enjoyed that Roman, he smiled whenever he saw that Roman. He didn’t know why, but he wanted that Roman back. 

“I don’t know, one minute he-he was fine, the next… he j-just changed.” Remy stuttered hiding his face in Damien’s shoulder. 

“It’s ok babe. Everything’s okay” Damien said stroking Remy’s hair and reaching over to squeeze Virgil’s arm in comfort. “He didn’t mean any of that” 

Remy and Virgil looked at him, both had tears in their eyes.

“How do you know?” Virgil said doubtfully. 

“I can read people remember?” Damien said glancing at the door as Matthew’s gang headed the same way Roman did, all laughing and grinning.


	5. Wrong choice

Roman didn’t know where he was going. He just knew he had to get out of there. Everything became too much all at once, the background chatter turned into a deafening buzz, his heart pounded in his ears as he felt his anger bubbling over. But Virgil… Virgil’s voice boomed over it all. His mocking tone, his cruel words. He could barely hear himself shout.

He was aware of the eyes following him out of the door, the cool air hit him bringing him back into the present. He resumed his walk to who knows where, this time it was slower and he put his hands in his hoodie pockets. What he said came back to him. Guilt twisted his stomach, he felt sick. He had been accepted into that group without a second’s hesitation. He had been trusted, and he used that against them.

He hung his head lower, ashamed of himself. How could he do that? Remy was uncomfortable when people made fun of him having a boyfriend, underneath his indifferent exterior Damien did care how people saw him. and Virgil… The person he had felt an immediate connection with, was severely hurt by anything anyone said about him. ‘he’s probably in tears’ Roman thought ‘I should go back, I should apologise, they don’t deserve that!’

_ No _

A voice in his head was adamant, the tone was clear, it sounded oddly familiar and it comforted him. he leaned against the nearest wall to him. Feeling the cool brick on his back grounded him. He began his thought process again. He had brought up something very personal, he had trusted the group with that information. And Virgil had morphed it into a joke. He said he was lightening the mood sure, but he could have been lying. Maybe he thought it was funny to poke at Roman when he was at his lowest. He probably did, it wasn’t as if he knew enough about Virgil for the other to care about him. They could barely be called acquaintances. The other two understood Virgil better, the other two knew how to make him feel comfortable… Roman didn’t. He didn’t know anything about any of them! He had been there for a week. They had finally realised what a nuisance he was.

No, he wasn’t the villain here.

He looked up to see the school field in front of him, he sighed and found a quiet corner to sit and be alone.

He didn’t want to talk to anyone at that moment. He pulled out his phone and plugged in his head phones. He began to relax and let his mind clear of all concerns or worries, he knew now who was at fault. There he sat for about four minutes, judging by how far he was into his song. When he felt someone kick his foot. He opened one eye and took in the group of people stood before him. He didn’t believe he knew any of them, he at least hadn’t had a conversation with any. He pulled out one earphone.

“Can I help you?” he asked a little annoyed that someone interrupted him.

The apparent leader spoke up. “Yeah actually you can, we need someone to play centre in our football team. you up for that?” he asked, in a way that left no room for argument. Roman rolled his eyes, jocks. Of course. But Roman was in a mood that made him stubborn to an infuriating degree. And after the ordeal with the trio, he couldn’t care less what anyone else wanted him to do.

“You got the wrong guy; I don’t do sports. Go find someone else” he said going to put his earbud in.

A scoff got his attention. “What do you mean you don’t do sports?” the stranger had his hands in his pockets, as if he did this every day. Roman was still on the ground under the gaze all of them, there must have been about six, standing over him. He did his best to stay looking neutral but he was intimidated. He continued to stare up at the boy talking. “You’re not a dyke, are you?” he smiled, it was menacing and Roman was quick to jump to his own defence.

“What? No of course not!” he raised his voice, that was twice today someone made reference to him being gay, was that how people saw him? A gay obnoxious brat? It must be, that must be why so many people referenced it, it was probably why Remy approached him as well. Judging by his friends, he only hung out with others like him.

Romans mind became focused for the first time in a week.

If that’s how people saw him, he was going to change it. And this offer was a place to start.

“You know what?” Roman stood up so he was eye level with the stranger. “I will take you up on that offer, might be fun” he shrugged.

The other grinned cockily “Glad you came around, I heard one of the freaks back there call you Ro, is that your name?”

He winced internally, only… those three called him Ro, “Roman prince is my actual name” he said, he decided it was best to distance himself from the trio “Ro’s just a stupid nickname they stuck to me.”

“Prince… cool, I think you’ll fit in just fine here” he clapped him on the shoulder “I'm Matthew”

-

After the day he had, Virgil just wanted to go to sleep. But he knew that it was better to talk to someone about how he was feeling. He didn’t have an appointment with Picani until later that week, and he wasn’t sure he could keep it in that long. So, he turned to his primary support system, his parents.

He sighed as he closed the door and walked to the living room to find his dads. His father should be home by now, and his dad would get in in about an hour. He wanted his father’s opinion first anyway.

Due to the logical nature of Logan Carson, if you asked a question you would get a direct answer, no sugar coating, no beating around the bush. He told you the truth and the facts. This did however make him come across as blunt sometimes, but it used to be a lot worse.

He didn’t understand the act of sparing others feelings. He was confused when people avoided him after they asked him a question or inquired about him as a person. Logan didn’t like being confused. He was used to knowing everything there as to know about a topic, but when it came to other people. He was at a loss.

Patton changed that, the lovable, naïve Patton Hart. He befriended the boy and taught him things he could never learn in a classroom. Logan was fascinated with this individual who decided to help him. They were opposites it seemed. Logan was cold, calculating and organised. Whereas Patton was open, warm and a bit too trusting for his own good.

Years down the line, he was still learning rom Patton every day.

Virgil sat down next to his father, who was engrossed in his book, knowing the older man, it was probably Agatha Christie.

“Hello Virgil, did you have a good day at school?” Logan asked without raising his eyeline and turning a page.

“Uh... n-not really” Virgil stammered, playing with his fingers.

Logan was caught off guard, usually when faced with this question, he would receive a vague answer “yeah” “fine” “boring” where common responses. But this, this was new and Logan knew from experience how to handle it. He understood sometimes his son wanted a straightforward answer, and he agreed with Virgil in that he was the best person to come to about that. He set down his book, giving his son his full attention

“Would you like to discuss it?” he asked.

Virgil nodded “Then proceed whenever you feel comfortable, share as much or as little as you would like.” Logan assured him.

Virgil told his father everything. The way Roman had acted the days prior, his confession, how Virgil responded, his insults, his exit. Everything. It was better for him to blurt it all out rather than bottle it up inside.

After a few minutes of venting Virgil looked to his parent for his reaction.

Logan thought for a moment. “You seem to have some sort of emotional attachment to him. That may be why you felt that way. I would just like to say, you didn’t do anything wrong in this situation, you were attempting to help in the only way you knew how. And all of that is commendable.” He put a hand on his son’s knee. “However, discussing this with your dad may be beneficial. He understands emotional responses better than I”

Virgil nodded glad that his father at least provided a bit of insight, “Yeah… thanks by the way”

“No need to thank me Virgil, now until dad gets home, how about we play some video games to take your mind off of the day you’ve had” Logan offered with a smile. He knew he and his son shared the same love for tactical games.

Virgil smirked and nodded “You’re so on”

About forty minutes into their call of duty game, Patton came home, laughing and carrying shopping from his trip to the store. Virgil stood up, as did Logan to go and help Patton with the bags. Once they had all been safely deposited in the kitchen, Virgil hopped up onto the counter and prepared himself to talk. Logan had disappeared upstairs, saying he needed to mark some of his students’ homework before dinner was ready.

Virgil took a deep breath “Hey dad?”

“Yeah kiddo?” Patton responded, putting away the food.

“Can I ask you something…?”

Patton turned around “Of course buddy! Shoot” he said pointing finger guns at Virgil.

The teen huffed smiling, “Well… some stuff happened at school today… Roman flipped out on me Rem and Dee. And I was just wondering… Uh why I felt different when he did”

Patton looked sad but knew better than to pry at this point. “Well kiddo… maybe when he blew up you just weren’t expecting it?” he offered.

Virgil shook his head “It was definitely more than just shock, it was like… being stabbed in the heart, it frickin’ killed me when he…” he trailed off.

Patton looked at him with concern blatantly plastered on his face “Kiddo, you know that I would never think of prying you… But what did he do?” The vet was terrified that Virgil, his baby boy, could have gotten hurt.

“He-he said I should mind my own damn business… And as he stormed off, he said… He wasn’t a fag” he blurted out the last phrase. He didn’t believe that Roman would ever say something like that. He seemed fine with Remy and Damien’s relationship. So, what happened?

Judging by his dad’s face, Patton felt the same level of shock over Roman saying that. “Oh kiddo” Patton rushed over and gave his son a hug, he ran a hand through the teen’s hair comforting him. “It’s ok Virgil, everything will work itself out.”

Virgil sighed and hugged his dad back “It still doesn’t explain why I felt like that when he said he wasn’t a… You know” he muttered into his dad’s shoulder.

“Well… I think it’s because you have grown attached to him kiddo. You’ve been happier this past week, you come home and never fail to talk about him.” he pulled back “It seems you have some sort of emotional attachment to him non the less”

“That’s what father said too… and I don’t talk about him all the time!” Virgil defended.

“No, of course not… But I do know you call him Princey and he calls you storm cloud” Patton kissed his son’s forehead. “But promise me you’ll bring this up with Picani on Wednesday?”

“Promise”


	6. Trying but failing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter kind of took a turn, I wasn’t planning on playing it this way, the story kinda just ran away from me, but oh well! It works sorta. okay! homophobia, strong language, violence and a bit of blood?

Roman found he was actually not too bad at football, he enjoyed the first game he played with the team, and was congratulated afterwards. Of course, being part of the team meant he had to see Damien. There had already been multiple times during the past few weeks the sarcastic boy had tried to strike up a conversation with him, however, the other teammates helped him stay away. Whether it be inviting Roman out after practises or actually telling Damien to back off. He felt happy that people where finally looking out for him. And so what if Damien looked upset when Matthew and his gang threatened him, it was his own fault for trying to talk to someone who clearly was uncomfortable.

Roman had become one of Matthews friends, they all hung out after school, sat together in classes and at lunch, Roman finally felt that he belonged. And he would do whatever it took to keep it that way. He stopped wearing makeup, he stopped going to theatre as often, he took the badges off of his satchel. He did anything that Matthew wanted to keep him happy. To keep himself within the inner circle.

He endured his torment of other students, he mostly just followed what everyone else did. Stand and watch, maybe back him up when prompted. It led to Roman becoming less liked throughout the school. People who used to randomly come to him and strike up a conversation, stayed well away. He missed the sweet girls that came to talk to him about drama, the guys who asked for help with science. But he had new friends, ones that would back him up, ones that defended him. So, everything was alright.

Things had even improved at home. Once he told his family about his new friends and football, they actually… smiled at him. They stopped making comments towards him and started asking him about his day, they offered to take him to practises, even Remus eased up on his teasing. Even when Roman screwed up, they were less hard on him, and more understanding. The fear he felt over returning home was bearable. Everything was going great!

But something still felt off.

-

Virgil didn’t care that Roman was now hanging around with Matthew. He didn’t. It just surprised him, he knew that the day the jock followed Roman out of the canteen, he was going to try and offer Princey something. He thought after a while Roman would return, apologise and everything would go back to the way it was.

He didn’t think Roman would actually accept

He watched from the side-lines as Roman visibly changed, he stopped doing things that made him happy. Virgil noticed the lack of makeup, pins, even his wardrobe changed. Tiny things that made Virgil’s heart drop more.

He was just looking out for Roman; he didn’t want Matthew to manipulate another person. That was all.

He still couldn’t help sagging every time he heard Matthew make fun of Roman for something. Today it was theatre. He knew Roman had a big audition today, he had talked about it when they were still friends. Even though it was almost a month away at the time, he had been stressing about it. His first audition in a new school, he didn’t know the criteria, the style the teachers were looking for, their preferences, the musical they were putting on. Just to name a few of his concerns. Virgil, Remy and Damien had all reassured him he’d do fine, they told him how even if he didn’t get cast, he’d still be in the chorus. It was how most schools worked. He seemed calmer at least.

“Wait seriously, fucking hell Roman you’re actual going to audition for a musical?” Matthew laughed.

As usual that prompted all his lackeys to do the same. Virgil sat staring at the group, he was getting angrier with each wounded face Roman made. How could he just sit and take that? Theatre was what he was passionate about, why was he just letting them insult him?

Roman had gotten used to the teasing that Matthew directed at him. It was normal, all friends teased each other! Besides, Matthew had said himself he just wanted to help Roman fit in, he just wanted the best for him. That was the type of friend Roman was looking for. He never normally argued with Matthew over anything… he just really wanted to do this audition since the moment he got there.

“I-I was just thinking that…it might be uh…. fun you know?” Roman said quietly.

“You probably aren’t even gonna be given a part, so why bother?”

“I… I guess… but couldn’t I just try anyway?”

Matthew shook his head, “Fine… if you like being called a fairy” he smirked.

That’s it. Virgil stood up, he felt Remy and Damien trying to pull him back down, saying it wasn’t worth it. But he wasn’t about to let Roman be put down for something he loves. It was a new feeling, protectiveness, blind fury. But he didn’t mind per say. He stormed over to their table.

“Hey! What the hell Matthew?! Why are you being such a dick?”

“What’s this?” Matthew asked innocently “What on earth do you mean Virgin?” he said menacingly.

Virgil just rolled his eyes at the name.

“I mean that you’re being a prick, your insulting Ro over something that doesn’t concern you! Why can’t he audition if he wants to?” he shouted pointing to Roman.

Roman sat silently listening to Virgil talk. He felt anger towards the emo again. He was going to mess everything up! Why could he stay in his own lane?

But there was something else underneath that anger, he didn’t want Virgil to get hurt, and that was a large possibility right now. But he pushed those feelings deep down and focused on his anger.

Matthew turned to Roman “Why is he here? Can’t you stick up for yourself? Do you need the fag to come and save you Roman?” he said as if talking to a child.

Roman hesitated for a second before standing up. “No, I don’t. And you” he turned to Virgil “Piss off, I don’t need you to try and fight my battles, this is what I meant when I said you need to mind your own business, leave me alone.” He took a step towards Virgil “I want nothing to do with you” he stood over Virgil, glaring at the teen under him. “Fuck off, freak” he shoved Virgil hard in the chest.

Virgil lost his balance and toppled over. Sending the group into fits of laughter.

There Virgil sat for a moment, feeling the pain of falling slowly growing. But there was the familiar stabbing pain in his heart. Roman glared at him before turning to Matthew. “I'm not doing the audition, will probably be lame anyway” he said sitting down, hunching in on himself, refusing to look at Virgil. Matthew sat back, a smug expression on his face.

Virgil still sat there, tears forming in his eyes as he took in Roman’s words.

Matthew finished laughing and took in Virgil’s form on the ground. “What are you still doing here? I think he told you to fuck off. Or do you need it phrased a different way?”

Within a second Matthew stood up and kicked Virgil in the stomach. He laughed as Virgil grunted, kicking him again.

Roman sat in shock, he hadn’t meant to push Virgil that hard, and now his friend was kicking him. Why wasn’t he standing up to defend him? To tell Matthew that this wasn’t ok? To save Virgil from this pain?

_You don’t want them to turn on you, do you? _

That was it. The reason. The voice. This was why he couldn’t intervene. He’d lose everything he worked for. Acceptance, validation, friendship. He’s be scorned and turned against. It wasn’t as if he could go back to Remy. They all probably hated him after what he said and did to them. It was better for him to stay silent. Let everything play out. Don’t make himself a target.

Matthew continued to laugh and bruise Virgil.

Until he felt arms pulling his own behind his back, restraining him.

Roman looked up when he didn’t hear the next impact. Matthew was being held back by Damien who looked ready to kill a man.

Remy was already at Virgil’s side, lifting him to lean against him, softly brushing the hair from the smaller boy’s face. He would have smiled at the intimacy if Matthew wasn’t screaming obscenities at the top of his lungs. Damien didn’t budge, he kept a firm grip on Matthew as he tried to punch and kick his way free.

Roman didn’t know what to do. Neither did any of Matthews lackeys judging by how none of them had gotten up. Remy had gotten Virgil to stand and nodded to Damien.

Remy’s boyfriend shoved Matthew away from him “Don’t let me catch you doing that to anyone else, or so help me god you wont be able to piss without a bag” he hissed.

Matthew only smirked. Dangerous move considering the look he was getting from his adversary. “Hissing? Really living up the name aren’t we snake?” he barely got time to finish his sentence before a powerful punch was landed against his face.

Roman flinched at the force put behind the hit. Surely, he had broken his nose, or at the very least given him a bad black eye.

From the floor he locked eyes with Matthew. The look he gave sent shivers down his spine. It was a promise of suffering and pain if Roman didn’t play his cards right. What else could he do? Roman jumped out of his seat.

Damien whipped around and rooted him to the spot with his eyes.

“Oh, so now you get up? Not to defend Virgil. Who, even if you aren’t friends, is the obvious victim here? No not for him. For this piece of scum who you shouldn’t be giving the time of day.” He gestured to Matthew who was still on the floor.

Again, Roman met his gaze and received an even more pointed glare. If he didn’t act now, he didn’t want to think what would await him. So, he moved to help Matthew off of the floor.

Damien seemed genuinely taken aback “Really? Really Roman? Pfft, and to think I thought you were lying when you said those things to us. To think you still had a shred of dignity and morality left in you. Well you can go rot in hell with the rest of these pricks.” He spat before moving to escort Remy and Virgil out of the canteen, fire still in his eyes.

Roman looked to Remy and Virgil. All he saw was hurt… hurt that he was responsible for. He did this. This was his fault. He began to hyperventilate. He needed to make this right. He needed to talk with them. He needed them to understand.

“wai-!”

Roman was cut off by Matthew grabbing his arm to get up. He glanced back to the sport where Virgil stood. But he was gone. They were all gone. Roman could see their looks, they were etched into his brain.

He would never forget the glisten of tears in all of their eyes. The utter disgust at his actions.

Matthew clapped him on the back “geeze those freaks are psychos” he said wincing when he touched his nose. He gestured for the group to follow him out the door, which they all did. Now eager to please to make up for not assisting.

Roman followed at the back of the group, keeping his head down as every pair of eyes watched them leave.

-

The leader kept talking while dabbing at his nose that was now streaming with blood. “I can’t believe the nerve of some people, that fag was asking for it, and then snake face came up behind me and attacked me for no reason! I might have to report him! I bet he could get kicked out of school for that!” he smiled wickedly. Murmurs of agreement filled the air as everyone followed Matthew behind the school. It was the best place to hang out unobserved.

Roman didn’t notice where they were going, he just kept his head down and tried to bite his tongue. After seeing the three’s faces after what he did, he was weaker than he’d ever been.

“Maybe I could get Anguis kicked off the team for assault. I didn’t lay a hand on him and that emo’s never gonna speak out against me, I could do anything I wanted right now!“

Roman hung his head lower. Knowing Matthew, he would do just that. Now that someone had hurt him, he would make their lives hell.

He wanted so badly to have that same drive and passion he did before. The fire that would have shouted at Matthew, would have defended Damien, would have protected Virgil.

But he wasn’t that person any more. He wasn’t the flamboyant confident wannabe prince. He was a cowardly submissive pawn in Matthews plans.

He felt tears burn his eyes.

That was all he was now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok guys just a quick note, there will be a bit of a break in between chapters. just because a daily chapter isn't going to be possible when school starts back up again. it will probably be about twice a week from here. sorry if that disappoints anyone.   
have a good day x


	7. Brotherly love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly a flashback, just to give some background on the twins, sympathetic Remus here, its a different side to the twin that I hope you guys will like. Alcohol, swearing and abuse in this chapter so proceed with caution.

Matthew kept his word. He did everything in his power to get Damien kicked off the team. However, it was going to take a while. He needed more than just his own word against the other’s. No one who was present really wanted to take Matthews side. Roman was surprised. He thought that everyone in the gang had Matthews back. Turns out they were just as scared as he was. Talking to the people Matthew kept around, he found out that most of them were actually okay guys. No one really liked Matthew. They were just nervous to face him. There was talk around the group that the last guy who tried to abandon him was dealt with severely. 

The thought made Roman quiver. 

So, he stayed by Matthew’s side. At least now he didn’t terrorize Virgil. So that was a plus. As a way to let off steam he had invited Roman to hang out at a park with the rest of the group. Of course, trying to stay on his friend’s (yes Roman still classed him as that) good side, he accepted without a second thought. 

He bid goodbye to his parents at 8 pm, they seemed surprised but didn’t say anything. So, it was fine for Roman to go out until who know when, but not okay for him to do theatre or wear makeup? 

It was a quiet thought in the back of his mind. He shook it away quickly. 

If this is what they believed normal teenagers did then he trusted them. All he wanted to do was please his parents.

The park was sketchy and darkly lit. The orange street lights cast eerie shadows on the grass. Shadows that seemed to reach out and grab at his ankles. He felt shivers run down his spine. He really didn’t want to be here. He’d rather be at home, in his bed. 

He had the urge to turn and bolt. He had a bad feeling about tonight. He had been searching for Matthew for ten minutes, in hindsight he was only told to meet at St Joan’s park at 8:30 pm. He internally face-palmed. Why didn’t he just decline? This park was known to be trouble. Teens stayed there doing drugs or setting fires. Roman didn’t ask, and now was going to be murdered. 

He stood still as the thought crossed his mind. 

What would happen if he died? Would any one care? Would he be missed? Roman thought through everyone he knew, searching for someone who may care if he were to go missing. His parents? No definitely not, they didn’t want him around anyway. He was a disgrace to them. Remus? Underneath all his teasing, his brother cared a little bit… at least that’s what Roman told himself. His friends? Maybe… maybe Matthew would care. Virgil, Damien and Remy would be glad to get rid of him. 

So… that was it. He had a maybe. Maybe he would be missed. Maybe someone would care.   
He tasted something salty. Bringing his hand to his face he felt his fingertips become wet.

When had he started crying

No no no, that won’t do. He brought his sleeves up immediately to vigorously wipe away the tears. 

_Princes don’t cry_

His dad had said that to him one night. He remembered it well. It was the night that everything changed.

-

Roman was happily playing in his room. His nine-year-old brain content to be distracted by his toys. He was on the carpet with his battered knight and dragon. Well, to us it would be a dragon. But to Roman, who had decided to stick a play dough hat to it, it was the furious dragon witch! She would devour anyone who messed with her! 

Roman loved his own head. He would spend hours a day making up stories or imagining worlds. When you have few toys, you learn to make your own fun.

He remembered mum and dad had gone out for a bit. They said that they would be back in soon and not to open the door to strangers. Roman nodded, happy that he could play in his room uninterrupted. 

He could hear his brother downstairs screaming as he threw trucks and plushies everywhere. Roman shook his head fondly, he loved his brother, but he was a bit too much sometimes. 

He waited another ten minutes before he pouted and sat backwards. Where was mum and dad? They should be home by, now right? 

He put away his toys in his chest that was painted to look like a pirate’s chest. His dad had made it for him when he was six, he loved the chest and refused to get rid of it

He wandered downstairs to see Remus standing on the couch holding a bowl of popcorn above his head. He screeched before throwing it towards a pile of toys lined up, “FIREBALLS!” he shouted. He giggled as bits of popcorn flew everywhere. 

Roman smiled at his brother before looking down. There was blankets, cushions, clothes and toys covering the ground. Roman could barely see the carpet underneath. 

“Rem!” he shouted “What did you do?” he asked walking to his brother.

The older twin turned and grinned “RoRo! You’re here! Good you can help me kill all the enemies!” he jumped from the couch grabbing Roman’s arm and dragging him towards a pile of cushions and forks. A strange pile, but then again Remus was a strange boy. 

He pulled Roman over before grabbing a cushion and fork and thrusting them at Roman. “There is your sword and shield!” he grabbed his own before grabbing his brothers face “You have to promise me you won’t betray me to the enemy” he said seriously. Roman nodded just as serious. He loved playing games with his brother. It seemed this one was complicated but thrilling all the same. 

“Good!” Remus said releasing his brothers face. “Then… charge!” he shouted before running down the hall. Roman followed shouting just as loudly as his brother. 

They played for hours, making up more and more games. They became aware of the sun setting and decided to put a film on their tv. Remus had snuck out of his room often enough to know how to work the DVD player. Roman smiled, his twin was smarter than people thought, only he saw the Remus who geeked out over superheroes, who spent hours rambling about space and history. He was happy that his brother shared that side of himself with him. After setting it up, Roman snuggled into his technically older brother as they watched Aladdin together. 

Once the movie had finished, they saw that the room was completely dark and there were stars in the sky. They also found their stomachs to be gurgling hungrily. They shared a glance of worry. Where was their parents? They sat in silence for a while, each in their own spiral of worry. 

It wasn’t until 10 pm that they heard the lock click and the door open, they jumped up both racing to the door in relief. Remus narrowly beat his brother to the door eagerly jumping and hugging his dad’s legs “Dad! You’re home! You were gone for so long! We missed you” he babbled. 

His dad just shoved him and Roman aside walking to the living room. Their mum followed looking tired. Remus and Roman looked at each other, both trying to work out what was going on. 

Their dad normally hugged them or threw them over his broad shoulders laughing about how the prince and duke where going to defeat him. The twins had taken a liking to having made up titles. Roman really liked his last name so liked the title of prince. Remus wanted to be different, he liked the grand old duke of York nursery rhyme when he was a baby. So, he settled on duke. 

They both jumped when a voice echoed and shook the house. 

“What the fuck have you two done?!” their dad screamed. The twins cowered in fear as their dad stormed back into the hallway where they were stood. “What happened to the living room?” he said quietly. 

Roman, ever the braver brother, spoke up. “We were playing dad, we made a battle ground” he said nervously. 

“Which one?” 

“Huh?” they said in unison. 

“WHICH ONE OF YOU WRECKED THE LIVING ROOM?!” he thundered. 

Remus squeaked and pointed to his brother “h-he did it” he said quickly. 

Roman looked at him brother questioningly. He knew Remus had made the mess. Roman didn’t contribute at all, he just forgot to tell his brother to tidy up once he distracted him with games. 

He didn’t get a chance to say anything, as his dad grabbed him by the hair and pulled him into the living room. Roman screamed at the sharp pains in his head. He was thrown onto the floor, thankfully the mounds of blankets broke his fall. His father stood over him, glaring down as if Roman was a dog that misbehaved. 

He began to cry, both from pain and shock. He sobbed, shakily looking to his brother for help, but Remus looked just as shocked and terrified. 

That was when he felt a sharp sting across his face. It shut him up instantly. He sat completely still, he felt the sting spread, it was burning his eye now. 

His dad leant in and spat the words that Roman would carry with him for the rest of his life.

“Princes don’t cry” he said turning to walk away. As he turned Roman smelled something bitter and disgusting on his dad’s breath. He decided he hated that smell. “This room better be tidy when I wake up” he threatened before pounding upstairs. Quickly followed by their mum.

Remus came and sat by his brother, pulling him into a hug. Together they cried. Together they cleaned. Once everything was away and they had checked everything five times out of fear, they walked upstairs had in hand. They stood outside their respective doors, Remus pulled Roman into a hug. 

“I love you brother” he whispered. 

Roman smiled “I love you too Remus” they pulled back, sadness filling their eyes. They wished the moment could have lasted for ever. They nodded to each other and walked into their respective rooms. 

That was the last time Roman and Remus hugged each other. 

-

“Prince!” he jumped out of his skin as he heard the voice behind him. Roman turned to see Matthew walking to him with a bottle of something in his hand. He smiled to see a familiar face. 

“Ready for a fun night?” Matthew asked cockily holding up the bottle. 

Roman nodded. This was going to be fun. Yeah. That was it. Fun.


	8. Empty words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. So heavy alcohol mentions, underage drinking and some non con kissing, only a little and it doesn’t happen again. Hope you enjoy.

Roman followed Matthew to at the middle of the park. He could make out multiple bodies huddled around a makeshift fire. It looked like it was lit with gasoline and bits of newspaper. Not very safe, but oh well. 

Matthew walked around to an available spot and dropped down onto the grass. Roman stood for a second before doing the same. He could see the faces of the others in the group. All part of Matthews gang, but noticeably only the prominent members. The ones who didn’t need to be prompted to back him up. The ones who, even though were afraid of Matthew, covered it up extremely well. 

Matthew cleared his throat. “Alright, I got hold of some vodka, what did you all bring?” he said with a smirk. 

One guy, Max, Roman remembered his name to be, spoke up. “I got some whiskey from my parents liquor cabinet” he said holding up a bottle of amber liquid. Matthew nodded and turned to the rest of the group. They all held up bottles of varying colours. They listed off the names but Roman didn’t catch one of them. He was too busy staring into the fire. That was until he heard his name being called. 

“Roman, as the newest member of our circle, I think you should be the first to take a drink, get the night started “he chuckled handing the vodka over to Roman. 

“Oh… I-I'm not so sure, I'm not th-that big of a drinker you see-” he said quietly. 

“For god’s sake, just drink bitch” he said exasperated. Roman jumped and brought the bottle to his lips. He hesitated before screwing his eyes shut and swallowing a large mouthful. 

It burned his mouth and his throat, but was quickly replaced by warmth that spread throughout his body. He swallowed again grimacing at the taste. But the feeling that came after. It was intoxicating. 

He looked up, the group were smiling and shouting at him. But strangely, in a good way.   
“Right! Let the night begin boys!” Matthew shouted raising another bottle up to the blackened sky. Roman grinned and copied his action, shouting just as loud as his peers. 

Over the night Roman got a taste of every type of drink present. After a while even the burn felt good, he began to relax more, after admitting he had never drunk much, shot after shot were handed to him. He didn’t mind, the drink allowed him to get away from his brain for a while, it was just him, the bottle in his hand and the smoke around him. He sighed contented, at least for now. 

-

Roman sat on an uncomfortable couch, staring at the white ceiling in a strange home. He didn’t remember how he got there, all he remembered was someone suggesting they take the drink to his place and invite some other friends. So, there he sat with an electric blue drink in his cup, music blaring all around him. 

When this individual said “friends” Roman didn’t expect it to be **female** friends.

In truth he still wasn’t completely over Amber yet. And to see all of his friends surrounded by girls having the time of their lives, only hurt him more. 

He moved himself into more of an upright position and surveyed the scene in front of him. People were doing one of two things. Drinking, or making out. 

He looked down at the drink in his hand, was this all really worth it? Gone was the pleasant buzz that the vodka had brought him, gone was the calming scent of smoke from the fire. All he smelled was alcohol and all he felt was guilt, he guessed he last drank about two hours ago. They had spent a long time at the park, and now were edging close to dawn. Roman dragged a hand down his face and sighed. He needed to go home; his parents were probably worried. 

He stood up placing his untouched drink on the table and stretching his sore muscles.   
He felt a hand on his shoulder. 

“Where are you going?” he heard a voice behind him say. He turned his head to see a girl staring at him cockily. He recognised her from school, she was one of the cheerleaders. Typical that she would be invited to a party with the football team. 

She had long dark hair that fell to the small of her back, her eyes where deep brown with thick eyelashes that looked false but beautiful all the same. Roman smiled at her. “Home” he said simply. 

“Why? Why don’t you stay here… with me?” she said moving to stand in front of him. There was a slight slur to her voice, but it was confident and smooth. He smiled slightly, sweet, obviously trying to be more, but she was sweet. 

He shook his head “Sorry darling, but I must be heading back, it is close to morning” he said softly. 

She gave him a look. One that he was confused by. “What? Am I not good enough?” she said putting her hands on her hips. he could smell the alcohol on her breath.

Roman immediately back tracked “no no it’s not that at all! You are gorgeous and I would love to stay but I must be heading back” he said quickly carefully selecting his words to avoid offending her further. 

She glared at him “Stay.” She said forcefully putting her arms around his neck bringing their faces closer together. 

“No, I'm sorry, I need to get… let me go” he said worriedly glancing at the door, he didn’t like this one bit. 

“Stay here and I can show you a good time~” she whispered against his lips.

“I’d really rather go home… I'm sorry, truly I am… please” he said becoming increasingly uncomfortable. 

She glared once more before gripping his hair and forcing his face forward, connecting their lips. She kissed him sloppily and forcefully. He stood frozen, he didn’t want this, it felt wrong. He couldn’t push her off, that would give the wrong impression. He felt tears welling up behind his eyes. After a moment she pulled back an irritated look on her face. 

“With a face like that you aught to learn to kiss” she hissed before storming off towards the kitchen. 

Roman stood catching his breath before quickly making his way towards the door. He needed to get out. To get away. He needed to get home; the night had been a disaster.

A hand in front of his face stopped him before he left. 

“What are you doing prince?” Matthew said, stepping in between Roman and the door. Matthew looked completely sober, the same could not be said for the rest of his gang.

“I'm going home, sorry to leave so suddenly but I have to go” he said keeping his head down. He couldn’t let Matthew see the tears building in his eyes. 

“Aww come on! Another drink will soon cheer you up!” he said gesturing for one of the others to get a drink from the kitchen. The way Matthew talked to his friends; it was like a dictator commanding his troops. Roman really didn’t care for that attitude. He had enough drink in him to make his movements sloppy, he knew that he couldn’t just run past Matthew. He was trapped for the time being. The thought made his insides screw up.

He licked his lips, grimacing when he tasted the alcohol from the girl’s kiss. He saw Matthew grab a cup from an outstretched hand and bring it close to Roman’s face, attempting to get him to drink it. He caught the smell and immediate felt dizzy, like he was going to throw up. He forced out a quiet, “N-no thankyou” pushing the cup away from his face. 

“What’s wrong Roman? Can’t handle your drink?” he taunted, the rest of the group laughed, all too drunk to think or show sympathy. He looked down trying to regain control of his thoughts, his mind was racing but he couldn’t grasp a thought for more than a second, only select words stuck in his mind. 

Out 

Home

Sick 

Trapped

They repeated like a sick mantra in his ears. He felt like he was going insane, he hadn’t had that much to drink, had he? 

“Come on Princey, drink!” a crowd had gathered to watch the altercation, by now they were all chanting ‘drink, drink!’ in his ears. But Roman’s mind was elsewhere. 

His thoughts had come to an abrupt halt.

Princey? Princey?! That was what Virgil called him, it was a fun nickname that made him feel warm inside and always brought a smile to his face. Not an insult to be thrown about by this… this heathen! 

Roman moved forward, tired of the game Matthew was playing, he just wanted to get home, was that so much to ask? “Excuse me” he said angrily pushing past anyone in his way to get to the door. 

His attention was caught by a loud gasp from the crowd, he sighed frustrated and turned around. 

He was met with Matthew drenched with alcohol from the cup he was holding. His shirt was soaking in an electric blue liquid that was definitely going to stain. Judging by everyone’s eyes locked onto him, he assumed that in his desperation to get to the door, he pushed Matthew and caused him to drop his cup down his front. 

He breathed shakily as he met Matthews eye, his face was like thunder. He stared down Roman as he approached him slowly, not breaking their eye contact until they stood inches apart. 

He smiled scarily “You made a mistake today Prince, a mistake you’re going to greatly pay for” he said loudly, before leaning even closer to Roman and whispering “if I were you, I’d wouldn’t show my face around anymore, cause you’re going to wish you were dead on Monday” he spat. 

Roman braced himself for the impact that never came. He blinked and saw Matthew stalking away grumbling to his companions. More than likely plotting how they were going to hut Roman come the next school day. 

Roman took the opportunity and fled, the cold air caused his breath to hitch. It reminded him of when he stepped out of the canteen after he said those things to the group.

He ran for a while until the cool air caused him to feel even more ill, before he could take another step, he grabbed his stomach and heaved into the gutter. 

Acidic vomit spewed into the street as Roman cried, it burned badly and felt like his insides were knotted. He wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol, the kiss, the guilt or the fear that made him vomit first, but all played a part until Roman was dry heaving. His eyes producing more than his stomach at this point. 

He picked himself up, wiped the vomit off of his mouth and walked home. He was ashamed, he was one of the trashy teens he pitied as he walked the streets at night. Drunk out of their minds, vulnerable and a mess. Now he was one of them.

-

Roman lay in bed crying. He seemed to do a lot of that. He had to sneak in silently when he got home. Considering it was three in the morning his parents were asleep, he prayed to every deity he could think of as he climbed the stairs that this his brother was not awake and wouldn’t hear him. his brother would no doubt tell his parents and it would lead to more punishments that Roman really didn’t want to have to endure right now. The burn in his throat, the dread in his stomach and the unavoidable hangover that was yet to come seemed punishment enough to him. 

He lay in his bed crying over what he had done, both recently and in the past. It seemed old wounds were opening up and adding more guilt and fear to his ever-tiring mind. 

He heard his phone buzz. Someone was calling him... at 3am? Who wanted him at this time? He sat up confused and looked at the caller ID. 

_ **Storm cloud** _

Virgil. 

Romans heart leapt briefly at seeing the familiar name. But it quickly sunk again when he realised it was for nothing good. The prince made a mental note to delete his number later. He hung his head as he heard the call die out and the voicemail indicator beep.

Virgil’s voice, quiet and raspy, came from his phone. “Hey prin- I mean Roman, I know you’re probably asleep I'm sorry for calling you at this time… I just… really want to talk to you… we all do… me, Remy, Dee, were all worried… just call me back when you wake up… we all miss you Ro… I miss you… bye” he said as he hung up. 

Roman felt fresh tears roll down his face as he listened to the voice die out. 

Lies. 

That was all they were. 

Empty words.


	9. Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a shorter one today guys, sorry but I wanted to end it where I did for more emphasis and what not. Swearing, hangovers, violence and a tiny blood mention at the end. Be sure to read the notes at the end of the chapter.Hope you enjoy.

Roman pulled the hood over his head as he walked down the corridor, he had woken up late and, as predicted, with a huge hangover that felt like his head was in a clamp. He had jumped out of bed and grabbed the first oversized clothes he could find. He grabbed his bag and was trying to make it out the door without being noticed. He was sure that if his family tried to talk to him, they would know something was up. Which would lead to questioning, which would lead to anger which would lead to punishment. 

He had his head down attempting to stop the world from spinning when a hand grabbed his shoulder and pulled him into a room. 

His brother stood in front of him, arms crossed and a malicious smirk on his face. 

“How you doing bro?” he asked sweetly, the expression never leaving his face. Roman tensed and looked anywhere but his brother. 

“I-I'm good, how are y-you doing Re-”

“Cut the crap. I heard you last night” he said squinting at his younger twin. Roman froze, he could have sworn he was quiet enough, he even checked if his brother’s light was turned off. He stuttered nervously. 

“Wh-what are you t-talking about?” he rubbed the back of his head. 

“It was really late when you got in last night. Have a fun time?” he asked suspiciously. 

“I-I um… y-yeah it was ok… I guess” he said quietly. 

“Just ok? Brother this was your first party! Didn’t you enjoy it?” he asked smiling.

Roman ducked his head, he couldn’t think of last night without crying. Jesus he was weak. Literally crying everyday over some bullshit that doesn’t matter. He was pathetic. 

“I-I kinda… um…” 

“What? Did you dump booze on someone or something?” he said chuckling. 

Roman tried to keep himself together. He knew his brother, well he knew his nine-year-old brother, and he always had a way to get Roman to tell him everything. That’s why Remus was the first person to know he had a boyfriend all those years ago. He sighed, he was going to find out one way or another. Better he heard it from his brother and not the countless sources he had in the school itself. 

“I-I… accidentally made Matthew Abbot spill drink down himself” he blurted out. He heard his brother gasp. 

“Did you say Matthew Abbot?” he asked in an unreadable tone. 

“Y-yeah…” he said hesitantly. 

His brother whistled. “Geeze Roman… Of all the people to piss off” he said 

“I know… a-and now… he’s gonna frickin’ kill me in school today” he sighed running a hand down his face. He would be scared of Matthew, if it wasn’t for the pounding in his skull. Then… Remus did something Roman would never have expected from his twin. 

Remus touched him. He put a hand on Roman’s shoulder. 

“it’s gonna be ok, just try and avoid him. promises me you’ll stay out of his way as much as possible, Roman” Remus said awkwardly. 

Roman looked at him extremely confused. His brother hadn’t had a conversation with him for weeks, he hadn’t had contact that wasn’t hurtful in years. And now he was touching him, he was offering advice. If Roman didn’t know any better, he would say he cared. 

“What the hell?” he asked stepping back. 

“RoRo?” Remus said apprehensively.

“Don’t call me that! You haven’t said anything nice to me in years, you go out of your way to get mum and dad mad at me, and now you turn and pull a stunt like this?! Is this some sick joke to you Remus?” he said angrily taking more and more steps towards the door. 

“No! It’s just recently you seem different and I- “ 

“You what? Cared? Don’t make me laugh. You haven’t cared for me since we were nine” he said accusingly. Remus knew exactly the point his brother was referring to. 

“Just listen to me brother, give me a chance to explain” he said carefully.

“No. You’ve had your chance, you’ve had 8 years of chances. Leave me alone Remus, I'm not in the mood for your games today” he said shaking his head and storming away. 

Remus stood dumbfounded. He didn’t realise his brother had that sort of spite in him. 

‘Kudos to him’ Remus thought. But on the other hand, he majorly fucked up. 

-

Roman sat on a bench towards the edge of the school, his head still throbbed from the night before, but it was lessening. The pain was more like a loud bell being rung in his skull, rather than a constant unescapable pressure. He was working on a piece of writing he finally got inspiration for. 

He had begun the short story before moving to the school and hadn’t been struck with any idea as to how to finish it. He had gotten the idea during his chemistry class, it annoyed Roman to no end if he didn’t finish a project, and had quickly made note of it. 

He sat quietly as his mind allowed words to flow from his pencil. He was not fully aware of what he was writing, his thoughts were with the next sentence, not looking back to proof read. It was how he worked when he was stressed and too paranoid to care if what he was writing was any good. 

He needed to get it finished or else it would be bothering him for another six months. Or longer, who knew when his next bout of inspiration would strike. It had been countless weeks since his last major breakthrough and he was bordering on desperate. 

A cough drew his attention away from his page. He grumbled and looked up. He froze, just what he wanted to avoid. A familiar smirk met his eyes. 

“Follow me Prince, it’s a little too public out here” Matthew said calmly turning on his heel and walking to the back of the school.

Roman trembled as he packed his things away. The fact that Matthew wanted to go somewhere private, filled his mind with endless possibilities. Each grimmer than the last.

He scurried after Matthew; he didn’t have his gang with him which was strange. Guess he wanted to make this more personal. 

They reached the very back of the building, it was dark and mouldy, with a stench of decay and drugs, perfect place to do anything without being seen. Matthew turned to look back at him his head tilted to the side. 

“I told you your going to pay for what you did.” he laughed. He stalked towards Roman looking down intimidatingly. “I talked to Jessica last night” he said smoothly. Romans drew a blank. He didn’t know a Jessica. “Oh, you know her” well apparently, he did then “Brown eyes, cheerleader, long dark hair, I'm sure you’ve had more than… just a conversation with her” 

Realisation dawned on him. the girl from the party, fuck, why did it have to be her. “She told me some pretty interesting things” Matthew said suddenly finding his nails extremely interesting “she told me how you barely responded to her kissing you… Is that true? Are you just another confused gay” he asked. 

Roman shook his head “n-no I just- “ 

“listen here. you’re going to take this beating like a good little fag or else I will tell everyone in this school how much of a dyke you really are. Got that Prince?” he said finally meeting Roman’s eyes. Roman shook with pure fear, his pounding head throbbing from his increased heart rate. 

“oh… but of course I'm not gonna do it alone” he smiled and nodded to someone over his shoulder.

The voices in romans head screamed at him. 

_Run! Fight! Do anything! Your fucking weak! _

A year ago, Roman would have fought, he would have done his best to avoid getting hurt. That was when he had fire, passion. Now he had none of that, he knew he was a shell of who he used to be. Drained to the point that he closed his eyes and let impact on the side of his head come without resistance. 

Next thing he knew he was on the floor, bodies above him, something sticky and metallic smelling in his hair. He let out a shallow whine as his vision became blurry. He registered dull pains spreading throughout his body, but he put up no fight. 

He simply lay on the ground and let the darkness consume him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I have a question for you guys, well two I suppose:  
1\. I am writing this fic a few chapter s ahead, I have a chapter that is roughly 4000 words, do you guys want it as one bug chapter, or two regular sized chapters?  
2\. my original idea is to have Virgil be the person to help roman, pretty much on his own, but do you want to see other characters helping roman? let me know if you want that and if so what characters you want to se more of.   
ok thanks for listening, bye!


	10. Injuries and dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We got some more of everyone’s two favourite dads! I was thinking it was time I got them involved again. Description of injuries and healing them.
> 
> I just want to thank the peeps who commented last chapter, it made me so happy tot see you all were enjoying this! By popular demand I've decided to include the longer chapter which will be posted on Monday (hopefully!) also there will be a few chapters where individuals are helping the prince. They could be considered one shots but aren't necessary to the story, just some fluff to make up for the bucket loads of angst that's coming up. ;)
> 
> Hope you all enjoy.

Roman groaned as the light flooded his eyes. He shakily stood up wincing when his ribs screamed at him. He clutched his head running a hand through his hair to try and get rid of the dirt that had built up. He looked at his watch. Great, he had been passed out for two hours and everyone will have gone home by now. 

“Great” he sighed “Just great” he said picking up his bag.

He slowly stretched, gritting his teeth as his body ached. His stood for a moment assessing the damage, he lifted up his shirt to see bruises forming, some an angry shade of red but some already purple, black and sore to the touch. He touched his face, feeling cuts above his eyebrows and across his cheeks. He felt the remains of a bleeding nose above his lip, which was split and stinging. 

‘Matthew really went to town’ he thought brushing the dirt off of his pants. Thankfully he didn’t have any bad injuries on his legs so could walk reasonably normally. He pulled up his hood and began his journey home. 

He kept his eyes glued to the floor, despite it being after school, people could still be around. He didn’t want to cause suspicion or alert anyone. That would not end well. He was sure he had some medicine or cream at home. As well as makeup to hide it for the next few days.

He was wrapped up in his own thoughts so didn’t see the boy walking towards him, eyes transfixed on his phone. Roman picked up his pace before walking into something solid and being thrown to the ground. He immediately went to apologise but was beat to it.

“Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going. Are you ok?” the stranger said extending a hand. Roman looked up slightly, his blood ran cold. Today was not his day. 

He pulled the hood further over his face and accepted the hand, pulling himself up to stand face to face with Virgil. He prayed that Virgil didn’t recognise him, he nodded softly. “Thanks” he muttered trying to disguise his voice. 

He turned to walk away, only for Virgil to grab his arm and spin him to look him in the eyes. “Are you sure you seem-“ he was cut short when he met Roman’s eyes. He raked his eyes over Roman's face taking in his injuries. “P-Princey?” he asked, a worried look on his face. 

Roman smiled awkwardly “Uh h-hey Virgil” he said trying to pull away from Virgil’s grasp. But the emo kept a hold of his arm.

“What the fuck happened to you?” he asked anxiety clear on his face. 

“G-Good question!” Roman said forcing a chuckle “Well… I uh… you see I fell” he said quickly. Looking away from Virgil's sceptical gaze.

“I saw Matthew today; you weren’t with them. Why is that?” he asked. 

Roman changed tactics “Is it really any of your business?” he asked finally breaking Virgil's hold and crossing his arms. 

“It is when you turn up looking like you just fought a war” Virgil replied. He looked down for a second in thought, before looking at Roman, a determined glint in his eyes. 

“Well if it’s all the same to you I'm gonna head home now” Roman said waving his hand in a dismissive manner. 

“Nope” Virgil said. Roman looked down at the emo questioningly. He was about to say something along the lines of ‘what are you going to do’ but he was answered before he asked the question. Virgil grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the school exit.

Roman nearly tripped, from the force of being pulled suddenly. As he regained his composure, he pulled the arm Virgil had hold of experimentally, testing the smaller boy’s grip. Turned out it was pretty strong. 

“What are you doing emo nightmare?” he said, masking the nervousness he felt. Virgil could do anything right now and Roman wouldn’t have the strength to resist. He could drag Roman away and beat him up again for all the things he said to them. 

‘I probably would deserve it’ Roman thought sadly. 

“I'm taking you to my house to clean you up. You look terrible” he said not turning to look at Roman. 

Roman raised a brow “What if I don’t want to?” he said tugging on Virgil's grip and failing again. 

“You don’t have a choice; you look like shit and my father will now how to treat your face better than I do” 

Roman’s eyes widened, his father? Jesus Mary Joseph Satan please no. Roman of course didn’t voice any of these concerns. Keeping his façade up as best he could. “You know this is kidnapping right?” he said attempting to put some amusement into his voice.

Apparently, his acting paid off because Virgil huffed a laugh. He shrugged his shoulders “Don’t care, you need put something on those cuts” 

“Fine. But just let me go, I would prefer not to be dragged all the way to your home” he said tugging on his arm for emphasis. Virgil let go and Roman fell into step beside him. Maybe Virgil didn’t hate him as much as he thought. But he was still terrified to meet this infamous parent of Virgil’s. 

-

Romans breath caught in his throat as they walked up to Virgil’s front door. This could go terribly wrong. Surely, he would know about what happened at school. On the other hand, Virgil was normally quiet so maybe he didn’t tell his parents everything. That calmed Roman slightly.

The house was about as normal as you could get, a modern semidetached home with flowers and plants outside. He didn’t know what he expected, a cave? A haunted mansion? It matched the emo’s personality better than this. 

“Come on, he should be in the living room” Virgil said as he opened the door and stepped inside. Roman followed quietly, copying Virgil as he took off his shoes and hung his bag on a hook on the wall. He picked at his sleeves as Virgil walked further into the house. This was his only chance to run, to escape this encounter. He should probably have taken it while he could, but a deeper calmer voice coming from the couch drew his curiosity. 

“Hello Virgil, good day?” the voice asked. It was strangely collected, almost completely void of emotions. Again, Roman didn’t know what he expected, maybe someone like their son? But this person seemed more calculated that Virgil. Someone who kept a level head in stressful situations, rather than panicking like Virgil did. 

“Yeah it was fine, I have a friend here is that ok?” Virgil asked. It was a different attitude than he displayed at school, he was at ease, comfortable, open. Roman smiled slightly at seeing the different side of Virgil. 

“Of course, is it Damien or Remy?” the voice asked. From the hallway he heard them rise from the couch and move into Roman's field of vision. The man was extremely tall, at least 6’3’’. He wore a black polo and blue jeans with a dark blue tie, typical teacher look. He stood with his hands behind his back and a perfect posture. Thickly framed black glasses on his face. If Roman wasn’t intimidated, he would call him a nerd. The stranger looked down at Virgil gently. 

Virgil smiled a little “Uh… actually neither” he said turning his head to look at Roman, who was stood in the doorframe, still picking at his sleeve nervously. Virgil’s dad looked intrigued as he followed Virgil's gaze. His bright blue eyes landed on Roman's form; he tilted his head back obviously judging him. Roman ducked his head out of nervousness. 

Virgil cleared his throat “Roman,” he addressed the boy in the door while side glancing at his father when he said the name, “This is my father, Logan” Logan stood still for a minute. He knew about Roman from what Virgil had told him. When Virgil first talked about him, the teacher was glad Virgil had expanded his friend group, but after the incident, Logan had taken a disliking to the prince boy. Call it protectiveness, call it parental instincts, Logan didn’t like Roman, simply because of what he did to Virgil. 

However, this boy didn’t look like the outgoing thespian, or the tough uncaring bully Virgil described. He looked almost lost and scared, like he would crack and break down at any moment. 

He was ever civil and walked towards Roman, who visibly recoiled in fear. Perhaps he felt guilt, the older one analysed. He stopped steps away from Roman and stuck out a hand, “Pleasure, I’ve heard a lot about you” he said unable to mask the distaste in his voice. 

It was then he noticed Roman's face, he saw the cuts and bruises, along with the terror behind his eyes, the way he bit his lip until almost drawing blood, the way he curled in on himself to make him appear smaller. 

Roman swallowed and shook Logan's hand. “N-Nice to meet you t-to” his stutter didn’t go unnoticed. 

Logan eyed him before speaking “What happened to your face?” he asked, most of the anger gone.

Virgil piped up “That’s actually why I brought him here. Roman… fell,” he said it in a way that made it obvious he suspected Roman was lying “And I know your good with first aid, so can you help him?” Virgil asked. 

Logan thought for a second. “Doesn’t look too bad, I'm sure I can help. Virgil can you go and get the first aid kit from the bathroom please?” he said looking at his son. 

Virgil nodded and went to find the kit. Logan turned back to Roman moving his hand close to the teen’s face. 

“May I?” he asked softly as to not scare the younger. Roman swallowed before nodding. Logan held his chin, gently tilting his head back and causing the hood to fall off of Roman's head. Logan’s eyes widened the smallest amount at the dark dried liquid in Roman's hair, he didn’t say anything but his mind began wondering how he sustained these injuries by simply falling, they seemed purposeful, intentional. 

Virgil returned and Logan sat Roman on the couch, he cleaned each cut, putting multiple creams and ointments on them. They stung a lot but Roman didn’t bat an eye. He didn’t speak throughout the process and Virgil kept giving worried glances to his father. 

Once Logan had finished and packed everything away. Roman muttered a small “Thankyou Mr Carson” 

Logan nodded “It’s quite alright Roman, now go change out of that hoodie, it will only aggravate the wounds more. I'm sure I have some old t shirts you could wear.” Roman followed Logan upstairs.

Virgil waited for the two to come back down, Roman was now in an old NASA t shirt that was much too big on him, Logan's face was plastered with silent worry but the teacher refused to meet his son’s questioning eyes. 

A knock on the door drew everyone’s attention, followed by a large bang as the door hit the wall. 

“Hey, I'm home! Where are my two favourite boys?” a loud and cheerful voice called out. Virgil rolled his eyes fondly and Logan’s worry melted away, a smile crept to his lips as a smaller man walked into the room, in a vet uniform. Logan wandered over and kissed the man on his cheek. “Hello, Patton” Virgil laughed and waved at the newcomer. “Hey dad” 

“Hi kiddo!” he said before turning to Roman “and hi other kiddo, what’s your name?” he asked kindly, giving Roman a large toothy smile. 

“Uh…R-Roman” he said ducking his head again. 

Patton’s smile faltered slightly he cast a glance to his son before speaking again “Well, hiya Roman, I'm Patton” 

“Hi” Roman said quietly looking away. 

Patton furrowed his eyebrow trying to work out what was wrong with the child on front of him, was it the same Roman Virgil told him about? He went to speak again, to ask what was wrong, to see if he could help. But Logan put a hand on his elbow, a small signal for him not to pry. 

“Well… We’ll be in the kitchen if either of you two need us” Patton said, a little less cheerful than before. 

Logan followed Patton to the kitchen, where he could fill Patton in on everything that happened, and what he suspected. 

-

Virgil stayed in his spot on the couch, eyeing Roman curiously. He thought being around his dads would make Roman come out of his shell more, it worked for him, but if anything, Roman had retreated further inside. 

“So… you have two dads?” Roman said quietly looking at Virgil for the first time since his cuts were tended. Virgil squinted. 

“Yeah I do. You’re ok with that right?” he said, a dangerous undertone present in his voice. 

Roman jumped at the slight change of tone. “Of course, I am” he said. Then he smiled, a tiny genuine smile that Virgil hadn’t seen in months. It relaxed the emo slightly. But just as soon as it emerged it was gone. The two fell into silence, Roman was in an unfamiliar environment and felt awkward. Virgil didn’t want to distress Roman further with too many questions. So, they sat for a bit, just enjoying being in each other’s company again.

“Hey Roman?” a voice came from the kitchen. 

“Y-Yeah?” Roman answered. 

“Do you want to stay for dinner?” Patton asked, full of sunshine once again. Roman hesitated, were they sure they wanted him here? 

He felt a hand on his knee. He looked up to see Virgil smiling at him, he whispered “Stay?” 

It felt different from when Jessica had said it the night before, it was genuine and kind, not forceful or angry. He relaxed under Virgil’s touch. And nodded. 

“If you wouldn’t mind Mr Carson, I would love to” he said. A touch of his old flair seeping into his dialect once again.


	11. Unwanted phone calls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome all! This is the long chapter I was talking about, roughly 4,500 words. I honestly didn’t think I could write that much. But yeah, I hope you like it. There’s a lot of swearing in this and some child abuse, the start and end is marked with a ~, if you are sensitive to that please proceed with caution. But mostly its fluff. The Carson family is just fluff. :)

Despite his little moment with Virgil, Roman sat in his chair slumped over to hide his injured face and his fearful expression, he felt incredibly awkward as they all sat at the table together, he could feel everyone’s eyes on him, the worried glances the pitying stares and the not so subtle judgements. It was weighing down on his shoulders. 

Patton served the meal and everyone sat in silence for a while. Roman couldn’t help feeling like he was the cause. Surprisingly Virgil was the one to break the silence, he engaged his father with talk about school, it was calming to finally have some noise rather than the silence that was filled with tension. 

Roman knew that Virgil's father suspected something, he could see it in the older man’s eyes when he looked at him. His obvious intelligence coupled with Virgil's hesitance when explaining how he got hurt, made it easy to see the lies. Roman couldn’t help wondering if this teacher knew anything else. Apparently, Virgil could see through his act easy as hell, what could his father do? Did he know about Matthew? Did he assume about his home life? 

The glares he received gave nothing away. Roman was at a loss. He noticed the conversation about school die down. Which was again replaced with silence. 

Patton swallowed and began to speak. “Roman,” the teen lifted his head at the mention of his name he instinctively curled into himself “I remember Virgil telling me you were going to audition for the school play, how did it go?” he asked smiling sweetly. 

Roman bit his lip and he felt Virgil look at him “I uh… didn’t actually… audition” he finished quietly. Patton tilted his head his smile almost completely disappearing. 

“But I thought you loved theatre? Virgil told us all about you” he said ignoring the pointed stare his son gave him. 

“I-I just thought that… there was no point” he muttered playing with his barely touched food. 

“Why would you think that, kiddo?” he said 

“It’s not like I would have got a part or anything” he said almost silently.

Unfortunately, Virgil's father was sat right next to him and apparently had super hearing. 

“What do you mean by you wouldn’t have gotten a part?” he asked not looking at Roman and taking another bite of his food. 

Roman stuttered trying to find an answer “I-I just mean that uh maybe… there were a lot of people auditioning you see and I uh I thought that perhaps auditioning wasn’t the best idea” he said gesturing with his hands to try and make it more believable, he even managed to force a chuckle at the end.

Logan side eyed Roman, there was a significant height difference, more so than average as Roman was still slumped. It increased the intimidation Roman felt as the teacher glared at him.

“You do like theatre, though don’t you?” Logan asked. 

He thought Logan was about to berate him, interrogate him, force the answers out of him. 

Roman nodded slowly, he wouldn’t deny he enjoyed theatre, he just didn’t let on just how obsessed he was. 

But instead Logan decided to drop it, he could clearly see the terror, as well as Roman's mind turning as he thought up the lie on the spot. 

“Do you have a favourite musical?” 

Roman visibly sat up straighter and became more confident. “w-well it’s difficult for me to pick just one, I love so many! The more modern musicals such as Hamilton, Heathers and Beetlejuice have incredible songs and are getting more and more people into musical theatre. Which is amazing. However, the older musicals like phantom, Chicago and Sound of music and are just as magnificent. I suppose one does have a special place in my heart thought, as It was the one that got me into theatre in the first place, so I suppose… it would have to be Les Miserable” Roman finished his speech with a smile. 

Patton looked at his husband proudly, Logan had purposely asked a question that got Roman to talk about what he was passionate about, that would make him feel more comfortable. He had taught the nerd well. 

Virgil also smiled fondly, but rather at Roman. He had never heard Roman speak as passionately as he just did. It made him happy to see Roman finally upbeat, the other had become more and more secluded, but here he was, talking to his parents as if he had known them forever, it warmed his heart and brought heat to his cheeks. 

Logan began debating about the different musicals Roman had brought up, turns out the nerd had seen quite a few musicals and enjoyed their music just as much as Roman did. At some point languages were brought into the mix and they began speaking in Spanish, so neither Virgil nor Patton could understand a thing they were saying. They just shared a look and resumed eating, smiling at the two geeks. 

Roman found himself enjoying the rest of the meal, he debated with Logan and talked with Patton about his job, he found the knot in his stomach slowly unwinding until he felt at ease and happy again. He hadn’t felt this way for a long time and he savoured the moments while they lasted. 

At some point Roman noticed that everyone had finished their food, but no one had cleared the plates. Roman, without hesitation switched to his ‘home mentality’ and began gathering the dishes, he didn’t hear the voices suddenly cut out or register the confused looks he got. Instead he carried the plates to the kitchen and began to wash them. 

Patton stood up and followed him, “You know kiddo, you don’t have to wash the dishes, you’re the guest here” he said with a small chuckle. 

“Oh no, it’s perfectly fine,” Roman said turning to him and smiling “I do it all the time, let me help you guys out. I wanna be useful” he said turning back to the sink his smile dropping completely.

Patton was caught off guard. Useful? What did that mean? He caught his husband’s eyes from the kitchen and silently expressed his concern. A small shake of Logan's head told Patton to stand down. He didn’t like it, but Logan was normally right in these situations, he read people and judged what needed to be done. But that didn’t mean he had to like it. 

“Well kiddo, if you need me to help don’t hesitate to say, okay?” 

Roman only nodded. Patton frowned but walked back into the dining room. He was scouring his mind for way to snap Roman out of that mood. He thought it odd that the boy he was talking to all night was the same boy in the kitchen. It was like a switch had gone off inside his head. He didn’t care that Roman hurt Virgil, scratch that of course he cared, but he also saw Roman for who he truly was, and he wanted that to be the norm. 

He smiled as an idea struck him, he turned to Virgil. “Does Roman like any particular movie?” he whispered as to not catch the attention of the other teen. 

Virgil answered almost instantly “Put on anything Disney and he’d love it,” he replied quietly “But I think his favourite is Aladdin” 

Patton nodded and went into the living room, followed by Virgil and Logan. 

-

Roman finished drying the dishes and put them in their respective cupboards, he nodded his head at his work, perfect, he had shown he wasn’t just a lazy kid who wouldn’t help. He had also cleaned the dishes used in making dinner, the countertops and mopped the floor while he was at it. He had lost track of time. 

He wandered back into the dining room to re-join the Carson family, but they were no longer seated around the table. 

“In here kiddo!” he heard Patton shout from another room. 

Roman followed the voice to what he assumed was the living room, the three were sat on a plush couch, each with a bowl of confectionary and sodas in front of them, he looked at them questioningly. 

“Nice of you to finally join us Princey” Virgil said not looking away from his phone. 

Patton smacked Virgil's knee slightly before turning to Roman “We were about to start a movie, want to join us?” he asked. 

Before he could politely decline out of fear for overstaying his welcome, Logan interrupted him “You are very welcome to join us, we have snacks and drinks for you. We would enjoy your company, but if you genuinely don’t want to, we are not pressuring you” Roman smiled, he wanted to stay here, he wanted to spend more time with this family that he felt happy with. 

“If you’re completely sure…” Roman began. three in sync nods answered his question. “Then, yes please” he said. Patton gestured to a spot between himself and Virgil, Roman smiled and went to sit down. He was handed a bowl of popcorn and a glass of coke. 

“I wasn’t sure what you liked; I hope this is ok?” Patton said uncertainly, if he had more time, he would have found out what Roman actually enjoyed rather than sticking to the most generic snacks. He liked to make movies enjoyable for everyone, and who would enjoy a movie with snacks they didn’t like? 

“No no, this is more than ok” Roman said grinning, he was honoured Mr Carson wanted to include him in the night at all, but snacks? Roman was flattered. 

Patton beamed back “A little birdie told me that you liked Disney” Patton began. 

Roman missed the smile Patton gave his son, and scoffed “Birds had nothing to do with it, anyone can guess I like Disney from just looking at me” he said looking at his bowl. 

Patton shook his head fondly “Well, we’ve got Aladdin, are you happy to watch that with us?” he asked, a slight smirk on his face. 

Roman's eyes lit up “Aladdin? Really? That my favourite film! Of course, I'm happy to watch it” he giggled settling down in his seat, ready to sing, laugh and cry at his favourite film. 

-

“Aladdin is not a twisted movie Virgil!” Roman said in mock anger. 

He and Virgil had got into a debate over the messages behind the film. Virgil couldn’t hold back his negative comments, and Roman would defend Disney to his death bed. Well almost. That led to the two having a heated argument, while the two parents looked on trying to contain laughter. 

“Yes, it is Princey, you want me to tell you why?” he said calmly, biting back a smirk. Roman sat back and gestured for Virgil to continue. Virgil smiled 

“I have two problems with this movie Roman. 1. Aladdin only became a ‘true’ prince, by lying and cheating his way right into the castle and tricking the princess. He got whatever he wanted through deceit and trickery.” Roman went to retort but was cut off by Virgil holding up a hand. “And 2. Did you notice how every main character in that movie was white by the end? Yeah sure Jaffar looked more like he belonged there but he was a villain. Furthermore, they all sound like they are from mickeys fun house, it’s not culturally appropriate. Any good main characters were white and talked like an American. So, Aladdin has a screwed-up message and its racist.” Virgil said settling himself against the couch, satisfied he won the argument. 

“Boom” he added for emphasis pointing a finger gun at Roman. 

Roman glared at him trying to find a way to combat Virgil's points, eventually he gave up “Shut up” he said as he threw a cushion at the emo’s face.

That prompted laughter from both Virgil and Patton. Even Logan cracked a smile, Roman looked around. He felt warm and happy while he was here, it was a foreign but not unwelcome feeling. He found himself laughing along with them all. 

He breathed deeply, inhaling the smell of vanilla and fresh laundry. It made a change from the constant smell of drunkenness present at his own home. 

-

Roman jumped when he heard his phone ring. He pulled it out and saw the name displayed on his phone screen. His heart nearly stopped. 

He cast an apologetic look to the family before rushing out of the room to take the call. With a deep breath he answered. 

“h-hey mum, what’s u-“ before he could finish his sentence a shrill aggravated voice cut him off 

“Roman Adwin prince, where the fuck are you?” his mother screamed over the phone. 

Roman facepalmed, guilt seeping in, he didn’t tell his parents where he was, they were probably worried sick. “I'm so sorry mum for making you worry I'm at Virgil's house” he explained in a hurry.

“Worry? Why would I be worried, you missed your session with Swann” Roman scoured his brain until a repressed memory squirmed its way through. Swann. Dr Swann. His ‘therapist’, the man his parent sent him to once a month to be fixed. 

How could he have forgotten that?! 

“Oh… god mum I'm sorry, it’s just I had a bad day and it slipped my mind” he said shuffling his feet, this would be bad when he got back home. 

“Bad day? Roman I don’t care if you had a bad day, you could have gotten beat up for all I care,” Roman winced at how accurate her words were “But I paid money for these sessions! I spent my hard-earned cash on getting you fixed. For fucks sake, it’s almost like you don’t want to be normal!” she screamed getting angrier with each word. 

“W-Well I… I kinda wanted to talk to you about that” he whispered, not brave enough to say it any louder. 

“About what?” she snapped “What could be so important you interrupted me while I was scolding you” 

“M-Maybe I could have a um… different… therapist” he whispered the last word, careful to make sure the family in the other room couldn’t hear him. 

“What the fuck are you talking about Roman? Dr Swann is amazing, he has a 75% cure rate! That’s why we paid for him!” 

“I-I just don’t feel comfortable around him, he swears and makes dirty jokes, he’s really unnerving mum, I don’t feel happy when I'm there” he explained softly, moving further away from the living room. 

“Nonsense, you will get your ass back here and explain yourself to your father, I'm sure he will be more creative that me in figuring out a way to suitably punish you.” Roman shuddered. “Honestly, I give you one simple thing to do, go to your appointment, it’s not hard! Remus could easily do it! Your so childish, is this how you are going to act when you turn eighteen?” 

She sighed “You make me so sad Roman, I thought I could trust you… apparently not… be back here by eight or so help me god I will shove you in a cupboard and lock you there” she sneered as she hung up on him. 

Roman didn’t listen to half of what she had said, he was used to it, he heard the threats though, loud and clear. He began to feel tears forming in his eyes. 

No. 

Not here, there were people around. People he didn’t want to upset or burden. He needed to keep this to himself. Showing anyone how vulnerable he could be was a suicide mission. It would end badly, he knew it. 

He sniffed, wiped his eyes and put on his biggest smile walking back into the living room. Three looks of concern and shock met his gaze. But his smile didn’t falter. 

Patton spoke up, Roman could have sworn his eyes seemed wet “What was that about kiddo?” he said voice strained. 

“Oh, just my mother checking up on me, speaking of, I actually have to go. So sorry to leave so abruptly, I will just grab my hoodie and take my leave” he apologised quickly. 

Logan silently communicated with his husband before speaking “No need to apologise Roman, in fact I will take you home myself” 

Roman immediately began to speak “No, honestly I’ve asked too much already... Really it’s only a few minutes away” he said laughing. 

“I insist, it is dark and cold tonight. I would feel much better if you allowed me to drive you” Logan spoke moving to grab his coat and Roman's hoodie. 

“I’ll come too” Virgil said standing up. He maybe didn’t understand what was happening as good as his parents did, but he wanted to help Roman. 

Surprisingly Roman was the one to address Virgil “Actually storm cloud… I think its best if you stay here. Thank you for helping me this evening, I hope to repay the favour at some point” he said softly smiling. 

Virgil frowned, he didn’t like not being in the loop, but the way Roman had called him storm cloud made him melt a bit inside. 

“Fine…” he mumbled moving to sit next to his dad on the couch, the duo bid farewell and Virgil silently cuddled up to his dad as he felt his anxiety rising in his chest. 

-

Roman mumbled his address to Logan and the two sat in silence as they drove. Roman stared out the window as it began to rain. His thoughts shifted between what awaited him and what happened at the Carson household. He was beginning to get tired of the constant change in his stomach. One moment sick with worry, then it was replaced with comfort with a touch of longing. 

Logan attempted to make small talk but Roman gave either one-word answers or small noises of agreement. After ten minutes Logan changed tactic, he consulted the map on his phone. “This still says another seven minutes, we’ve been driving for at least fifteen. that’s a lot further than ‘a few minutes away’ and I'm sure it would take much longer to walk” he said, clear what he was asking. 

Roman knew that his house was far away, it was why he drove to school every day. There wasn’t any way he could get out of the question. And judging by what Virgil could figure out, he guessed Logan would be even better at picking up lies. 

Not as god as Damien though, that kid had a sixth sense for anything remotely untrue. It was almost scary how easily the boy could see through someone. 

“I just want to make it clear I'm not lecturing you or trying to make you uncomfortable, I simply want to know why you were committed to walking all this way, in the dark, alone.”

Roman sighed, might as well be honest, what was the worst that could happen? He had already seen Roman at his lowest point. “You and Mr Patton have been so… nice and welcoming, even after the way I acted towards Virgil… I didn’t want to inconvenience you even more.” He said not meeting Logan's eyes. 

Logan took a deep breath “I will admit when I saw you, I detested you due to what happened with my son” Roman cringed at the word choice. “However, once you were treated and we began to have a conversation, Patton and I both found ourselves enjoying your company.” He said smiling subtly. Roman had been honest with him, so it was only fair that he was honest with Roman. 

“You clearly mean a lot to Virgil, the amount he speaks of you borders on ridiculous. If you mean that much to him, then we will be there for you whenever you need us. Do you understand that Roman?” he said taking his eyes off of the road for a split second to look at Roman's face. 

Roman stared up at Logan, he smiled while his eyes grew watery. He nodded enthusiastically. He felt the honesty and sincerity in Logan's words. It wasn’t like the empty promises the strictly public display of affection he was used to. It made his face heat up and an uncontrollable smile plaster itself to his face. 

“Thank you, Mr Carson.” He said, his emerald eyes illuminated by the streetlights they passed. They looked like stars and it reminded Logan of when Virgil first talked about the prince boy to Patton. 

_He’s great dad, he’s got these cool green eyes that just, light up when he talks about the things he likes. Its amazing… _

Virgil had said the day he met Roman. Logan understood where his son was coming from. 

“Please Roman…” he chuckled “Call me- “ 

“ROMAN!” 

Logan flinched and swerved slightly, a man had run towards the car and screamed at the top of his lungs. Roman was breathing heavily and Logan reluctantly slowed down. The GPS voice rang out in the silent car. 

‘you have reached your destination’ 

The man was now standing beside the car face red and scrunched up. His hands were repeatedly making fists, as if he was itching to get his hands on something. Or in this case, someone. Roman looked at his feet, his eyes fliting back and forth, his brain visibly panicking. 

“Ro- “ 

Before Logan could even utter a syllable, Roman's head shot up, he was looking straight ahead, a blank, empty look on his face. He muttered robotically “Thank you for driving me Mr Carson, sir” he then opened the car door and quickly stepped out. His face to the ground and his shoulders tensed defensively. 

The man stood waiting for Roman, he glanced angrily at Logan in the car before turning his attention to the teen in front of him. in a flash the man struck Roman over the head, hard enough that Roman visibly staggered and had to ground himself by grabbing his hair. 

Logan wanted to intervene, he was just about to when the man screamed something unintelligible and grabbed Roman by his hair, he stomped off towards a run-down looking house dragging a wincing Roman behind him. The door slammed and Logan was left in silence. 

He swallowed thickly, what he had just witnessed was the fact connected the dots in his head, he shook himself and drove home in silence. 

~~~~~~

Roman's head was hit against the wall as soon as the door was closed, he had enough time to register the fact that Logan saw what just happened, before a hard hit was landed to his face. He clutched his cheek and cast an eye up to his father. 

“What the fuck where you thinking you ungrateful child?! We spend our hard-earned money on trying to help you and you throw it back into our faces?!” 

“I'm sorry” Roman squeaked, as another punch was delivered to his gut, it made him double over and drop to his knees. 

“Sorry isn’t good enough brat!” his mother chimed in from the couch. 

Roman's dad pulled Roman up by his hard and forced his head against the wall. A loud thud echoed through the house. His head spun and he could taste iron, his stomach was throbbing and his head was screaming at him. 

He didn’t have the will or the strength to say anymore. His face was grabbed and turned towards his fathers. Dazed eyes met fiery ones.

“Get the fuck upstairs and I fucking swear if you make so much as a peep, I will double the amount. Got it?” he spat as Roman scurried upstairs, tripping into his room while removing his hoodie. 

He trembled as he heard metal unbuckling. 

~~~~~~~~~

Virgil sat at the top of the stairs listening to his dad’s talk, as soon as Logan got back Virgil was set upstairs to bed. 

He did stay there for a while until a rather loud gasp peaked his concern. His anxiety had been brewing since Roman's rather loud phone conversation earlier that night, his dad did help a bit while his father and Roman were gone but it was worse than ever now. 

He sat clutching his knees and biting his lower lip hard enough to draw blood. His eyes weren’t focusing on what was in front of him, instead he saw Roman. The smiles the laughs, but also the fear, the guilt, the apprehension. It made him shiver more. 

He couldn’t really hear what they were saying downstairs but he understood the general tone, and it want good. 

He heard footsteps and ran back to his room, turning off the lights and jumping in bed. 

He heard the pair of footsteps stop outside his door, he held his breath, before continuing down the corridor. Virgil sat up and took out his phone, he was going to help Roman one-way or another. He opened his group chat and typed out a message. 

** _Panic! At the everywhere: Hey guys, I have a favour to ask _ **

** _Insomniac: Sure, hon go ahead _ **

** _Sarcastic bitch: What is it?_ **

** _Panic! at the everywhere: Roman's in a bad place, I can’t help him on my own, I know he was a jerk before but he’s better now I promise. Trust me. Can you help? _ **

** _Insomniac: OMG of course babes! Me and DeeDee will do what we can. Don’t worry your little emo head about it :P _ **

** _Sarcastic bitch: Fine, but no promises I wont absolutely murder him for what he did._ **

Virgil chuckled.

_ **Panic at the everywhere: thanks guys** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like musicals... can you tell?


	12. Sunglasses and piercings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop! Another chapter! This is one of the little one-shot things I was talking about, not majorly crucial to the story, but I wanted more Roman angst and fluff. Also, the parlour story is based off of when I went to get my seconds done! Sorry I dint post yesterday, school work is taking over my life. the next update will probably be Sunday because I need to edit a few chapters and review the story a little. Hope you enjoy the slightly different chapter. <3
> 
> (Quick side note, truly… thank you. To everyone who comments, leaves kudos and shows their support, it motivates me to keep on writing this and as of now I don’t plan on stopping any time soon. I wouldn’t do this if it wasn’t for you guys and you all make me so happy when I read what you guys think.)

Roman hitched his bag up higher on his back, it stung every time the bag brushed against those spots. He had his headphones in, even the happy tunes of hairspray couldn’t lift his mood. He was tired and not ready for another Tuesday morning. He wracked his brain thinking of the classes he had that day. Biology, English then Drama. With a handy little free period in the middle. Fun. Hanging around campus on his own, hiding around a corner to avoid… certain people. 

He counted his steps to try and distract himself from the day ahead. He wished he could have a day off, but it would mean staying in his house all day and his parents wouldn’t allow that. Despite the fact he had a car he wasn’t allowed to drive anywhere but school, he was taking a risk picking up Amber that day and he payed for it. 

‘No, no. Don’t think about her, its in the past there’s nothing you can do about it’ Roman thought shutting his eyes counting his steps once again. He began to match his steps to the beat of the song he was listening to. He took deep breaths and tried to calm his thoughts. 

His calm was short lived as a hand grabbed his arm and dragged him in the opposite direction. His heart pounded in his ears. Matthew must have wanted to get his fun in early. His hand went to grasp the arm of his attacker. 

But instead of the rough, scratchy material he was used to Matthew wearing, his fingers met a soft leather sleeve. He looked up to the stranger’s face. Maybe he was actually getting kidnapped? He was met with a cocky smile and black sunglasses staring down at him. 

“Remy?” Roman asked, unsure as to why the Picani was grabbing at his arm. Roman began trying to think of why his former friend would be dragging him. Maybe he wanted to get his own back, sure Virgil was forgiving but maybe Remy wasn’t. Maybe he was going to meet Damien, he would definitely want to pummel Roman after what happened.

“Sup gurl” Remy said dragging the teen behind him who followed apprehensively. 

“Where are we going?” 

“Out of this dump” Remy said taking a sip of his star bucks. 

“But… what about school?” 

Remy stopped walking and turned to face Roman, “And here I was thinking that you’d want to get outta that hell hole” he quipped pulling his sunglasses down his nose to look at Roman clearly.

Roman picked at his sleeve “A-Are you sure?” Wasn’t he mad? Didn’t he want to hit him? Shout at him? Make him feel the pain he deserved? 

“Of course, I am, that place is so…drab. I was thinking that we could hit the town. Get coffee, go shopping, have a good time. What do you say?” he smiled kindly. 

Roman weighed his options, an awkward day with Remy, spent hoping he doesn’t bring up the _ incident_ in the canteen. Or a day of running around trying to stay relatively safe.

Roman shrugged “Uh sure… yeah” he said quietly.

Remy grinned “Great… I call shotgun!” he said running over to where Roman’s car was parked. The prince rolled his eyes but smiled and walked towards the driver’s side of the car. 

-

“Omg god Ro! This would be so cute!” Remy squealed as he held up a black and white splattered cropped hoodie. Roman looked the clothing up and down before fixing Remy with a stare. 

“On you perhaps” he said walking towards the men’s section of the clothing shop. Remy sighed before putting the hoodie in the basket. He had been trying to get Roman to settle on something feminine for an hour. 

He noticed how the teen kept looking at his own clothes enviously, especially when it was something typically aimed at girls. He wasn’t disgusted, Remy knew that, it was sort of…longing? Jealousy? Well Remy wanted to fix that. 

He had directed Roman towards the closest mall, where there were clothing shops every ten feet. Perfect way to unwind. Remy had been dragging Roman into countless stores. Forever 21, top shop, they even found one named ‘Roman’ which would have been perfect if they didn’t sell cheap crap. Each time, Remy made a beeline for the girl section and Roman followed him. That was until he noticed the stares he and Remy got, which prompted him to move towards the masculine end of the spectrum. 

Unsurprisingly, Remy didn’t have any shame so wasn’t deterred when he got strange looks from cashiers or customers. Over the few hours the had been there he had bought piles of feminine clothing in various pastel or bright colours. 

Roman respected Remy on the fact that he had the confidence to buy whatever he wanted. He just knew he would never be able to do it himself. He hadn’t actually purchased anything yet. While Remy had mountains of bags, he had nothing. He hadn’t liked any of the men’s things the stores sold. They all looked too boring, the ones he did like where somewhere in between feminine and masculine.

Once he realised, he liked them he consciously made sure to only look at things that would be considered strictly masculine. But still, the baby pink hoodie with an embroidered rose stuck in his mind. It was adorable, he loved the simplistic tiny flower positioned where a shirt pocket would be. It looked so soft and comforting. 

He sighed as he picked up another red t-shirt to look at, although he adored the colour red it was a bit boring without any accents or design. He was mostly just waiting for Remy to decide what he was getting. 

He cast an eye to where the boy was looking at something white and loose, the two made eye contact and Remy pulled his sunglasses on top of his head fixing Roman with a look that worried him. It was the look of someone who was scheming. He saw the caffeine addicted teen walk towards him and instinctively took a step back. Remy shook his head smiling before grabbing Roman's hand and walking towards the fitting rooms. He pushed Roman into a stall, already walking away as he shouted over his shoulder “Stay there!” 

Roman smiled and sat down waiting for Remy to come back. He wasn’t sure what he was up to, but he trusted Remy not to do something stupid. Probably a bad idea considering where they left their friendship. He pulled out his phone and double checked that no one had contacted him about missing school. 

He felt something soft land on top of him, when he opened his eyes all he could see was pink. He pulled the fabric off his head to see Remy standing in front of him a smirk on his face. 

Roman chuckled “what was that fo-” he said, as he looked down to what Remy had thrown at him, he stopped abruptly. The hoodie he had been looking at for the past half an hour was now in his hands. It felt even softer than it looked. The rose was more detailed than he first thought but it was a lovely little pop of colour to otherwise the plain hoodie. 

“You’ve been staring at it for ages Ro. I know you wanna try it on. What is there to lose?” he asked crossing his arms. 

Roman's brain stuttered attempting to find an answer. He didn’t want to offend Remy by stating the didn’t want to wear what Remy clearly felt happy in. He sighed “Fine, just get out.” Remy laughed and walked away.

“Just show me when you’re done!” he shouted walking away. Roman chuckled while shrugging off his red hoodie. There was no one around and he felt more at ease with Remy. The boy was always wearing something feminine, whether it be a scarf, a cropped hoodie/top or makeup. Remy always looked like a typical gay. A pink hoodie was nothing compared to the skirt Remy wore to school one day. 

He took a deep breath and pulled the pink cloth over his head, he adjusted it and turned to look in the mirror. He stopped and scanned the hoodie with a soft smile. It was comforting, it felt heavier than normal hoodies and it made him feel safe and warm. He ran his fingers over the arms and the emblem, it only made him smile more. 

“Are you done yet?” Remy said knocking on the door. Roman had gotten caught up in the feeling of the hoodie that he forgot about Remy. He opened the door as an answer, and Remy’s face lit up. 

“You look so good!” he squealed, Roman bit his lip and smiled. 

“Really?” he asked ever doubtful. 

“Of course! I don’t give out fashion compliments that aren’t true. For example, Virgil could never pull that off, even though he’s almost a big a gay as me, he has a naturally pale complexion which won’t work with pastels. That’s why he looks good in black and purple. But you have a darker complexion so you pull it off really well!” he said smiling proudly. 

Roman grinned at the compliment.

“So you gonna get it?” Remy asked hand on his hip. 

Roman's smile dropped as he shook his head. Remy frowned “What do you mean? You clearly love it, it looks amazing, why don’t you want it?” 

Roman lowered his head and pulled the hoodie off mumbling “I'm not able to wear it anywhere… plus everyone would make fun of me”

As he did Remy caught a glimpse of something that made his stomach sick, but he knew better than to mention it, so as Roman’s eyes met his, he dragged his gaze back up. 

Remy swallowed his distaste and smiled comfortingly, “I get it… you don’t have to buy it if you don’t want” he said putting a hand on Roman's shoulder. 

Roman smiled gratefully and put his own hoodie over his head. “I’ll go wait outside while you check out” he said walking away from Remy. He needed a minute to breathe, and was too self-conscious to stand with Remy while he bought his clothes. 

The other watched him walk away before moving towards the check out line. Just as he did, he spotted a flash of pink in the corner of his eye, he looked at the discarded hoodie before getting an idea and smiling mischievously

-

As the two were walking back towards the car, Roman heard Remy gasp and stop moving. He turned back to see what Remy was looking at, turns out it was a tattoo parlour. He gave Remy a questioning look. 

“Can we?” Remy asked smiling. 

“Remy we are not eighteen we cannot get tattoos” he said simply 

“No! not tattoos, piercings” he said pointing to a sign advertising the services inside. “Can we get our ears pierced?” he asked giving his best puppy dog eyes. 

Roman smiled while thinking, it was easy enough to hide, and having pierced ears looked straighter than a bright pink hoodie. Besides, he could always take them out if he needed to. He nodded slowly. 

Remy walked in excitedly, with Roman trailing behind looking nervously around the dark rustic parlour. Remy was already talking with a guy who had way too many tattoos and piercings. At least he knew what he was doing, Remy chattered about what he wanted and the man passed him a file filled with the different piercing and the prices. 

Remy took a seat on the black leather sofa, pulling Roman down with him and began to flip through the book. He pointed to one of the pictures, it was a bar through the cartilage of the left ear. Remy clapped his hands. 

“Can I have this one?” he asked holding up the book. The guy looked at Remy.

“Do you have any piercings already?” he asked in a low but kind voice. Remy shook his head. “We usually say that unless you already have any cartilage piercing to stick to lobes for now until you know that don’t react to the needle or the stud” he said shrugging his shoulders. 

Remy huffed, “We need to come back soon, I really want that cool bar thingy” he said. “You don’t have any piercings, do you?” he asked turning to Roman. 

Roman shook his head “Nope” 

Remy smiled “I guess we are both getting… our firsts done” he said consulting the book. Roman looked to where Remy was pointing as he spoke to the tattooist, it was surprisingly cheap for normal lobe piercings. Roman was actually kind of looking forward to it. 

They both paid, signed some form and were escorted into a room in the back of the shop that had walls lined with needles and sterilising liquids. Roman swallowed, this looked like somewhere he would get murdered. Remy happily skipped towards the raised bed when instructed. He sat swinging his legs as the man marked where the piercings were going to go. Once he asked Remy if it was ok, he encouraged the teen to lie on his back, Remy bit his lip looking to Roman. 

“Uh… will you hold my hand?” he asked nervously. He saw the deep rooted terror present on Remy’s face, he had seen it on himself many times before. Roman smiled and held out his hand for Remy to grasp. He saw the older guy put on latex gloves and pull out a needle. Roman's eyes went wide. 

“Keep breathing normally, it will sting for a while but its perfectly normal” he said moving over Remy’s head. He saw the teen’s eyes scrunch up as he jabbed the needle into Remy’s ear. Roman squeezed his hand in support and smiled when he opened his eyes.

All too soon it was Roman's turn, he found himself standing in front of a mirror with to black dots where his earrings would soon be. He took a deep breath and he lay down, crossing his arms and waiting for the pain. He felt Remy hold his leg in comfort and smiled as he felt a stabbing pain in his ear. He would deny to his grave that once it was done, his eyes were wet from the pain. 

The tattooist escorted them out to the front to give them a leaflet that showed them how to look after their piercings and some solution to clean them. 

They walked out into the sun with new metal in their ears and smiles on their faces. Roman wasn’t going to deny he really liked the look of the earrings. At least he wouldn’t deny it to Remy. 

“I'm so happy! They look incredible babes!” Remy said taking another can of iced coffee out of his bag. 

“How many of those do you have?” Roman asked side eyeing his… friend? Where they friend now? They were more than acquaintances… but Roman wasn’t sure he was ready for that again. What if he screwed up again? What if Remy didn’t think the same? They had just had a whole day out like friends did, sure. But that didn’t mean that that’s what they were… did it? 

“Enough to get me through… about 2 days straight” he said pulling Roman from his thoughts “or should I say 2 days gay” he said winking at Roman over his glasses. 

The taller just chuckled and playfully shoved Remy. 

-

“Hey uh… thanks for today...” Roman said awkwardly as helped Remy with his bags. He had dropped the Picani off at his house, assisted with the mountain of bags Remy had acquired and they were now at the door saying their goodbyes 

“Sure, thing babes, just hit me up anytime you wanna day on the town” he smirked before surging forward to hug Roman tightly. Roman froze before automatically returning the hug. He couldn’t remember the last time he had human contact like this. It was so nice and calming. He sighed happily as he buried his face in Remy’s shoulder. 

“I'm here for you honey” Remy whispered pulling back and smiling up at Roman, at some point he had pulled his glasses off of his eyes so they could actually look at each other. 

Roman laughed “Thank you Remy… truly” he said backing up towards his car. 

Remy waved as he slowly shut his door. 

Roman couldn’t help the smiling as he drove home despite the stinging of his new piercings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have obsessed slightly over the hoodie but oh well. 
> 
> another little question, I keep mentioning an infamous Dr swann, would any of you like to see a full chapter with him? it would mean seeing Dr Picani as well because I have a sort of plan for him. 
> 
> or for that matter, a full chapter with romans parents?
> 
> let me know if any of you are interested in the comments, if not and it doesn't sound like your cup of tea, that's fine too! 
> 
> have a good day all xxx


	13. An offer he couldn't refuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! I know I said that I would post on Sunday, but turns out… I majorly overestimated how much time id have once school started back up again. I'm out of pre written chapter and coursework/revision has taken up a lot of my time. I'm really sorry if any of you were disappointed. I’ll do my best but I can’t guarantee frequent updates until I’ve stocked up on chapters. 
> 
> Any ways, hope you enjoy this chapter, its part one of Virgil's little plan and I promise it gets better

After the day he and Remy had a few days ago, Roman found himself more relaxed around school. He didn’t peek around corners everywhere he went and he even sat out in the sun for once. The cool air made his cheeks pink and ruffled his hair. He hadn’t felt this at peace in forever. It was a familiar warmth that he could get used to. 

He had practically finished school for the day. Apart from one class left for him to attend. Chemistry. After he graduated Roman vowed, he would never touch another test tube or lab coat in his life. You may be asking why he chose to do the subject if he hated it so much. Well the answer is simple and a common one for Roman; his parents. 

Back in his old school Roman was good at science, he was getting good grades and enjoyed the experiments he got to conduct. His parents saw this and began to push Roman to do science as a career. They would research different jobs and corner him, interrogating and encouraging him to pursue it. After a while Roman noticed that all the jobs were well paid and required expert training. He tried to tell his parents that it wasn’t what he wanted to do for the rest of his life, but they simply replied with ‘You’re confused, you don’t know what you want’ or ‘We’re your parents, we know best’. 

The truth is that he didn’t really find it that interesting. But English? Theatre? That was where his true passions lay. He loved to escape into the worlds he created on paper. He longed to join the characters on their quests. He wanted to sing his heart out to any song that came on the radio, he wanted people to enjoy the things he created. But actors, artists, musicians or writers, where just fancy words for unemployed in his parents’ eyes. 

However, Roman… he thanked them. He was thankful that they were showing an interest and looking out for him. They wanted to see him finally succeed in something, and they were probably right about the unemployment thing. Roman knew his skills were not good enough to be professional, he knew if he auditioned for anything he wouldn’t even be considered. If he wrote something it would end up in some CEO’s trash can. If he drew or painted, people would laugh and take pity on the kid who thought he could make it. 

Science was the thing that would make his parents proud, so he got his head down and did his best.

But knowledge can only take you so far. 

You have to have some passion for a subject, some enjoyment. Or else you trip and fall along the way. Roman barely passed any of his exams last year, he scraped through and it made his parents livid. Roman never wanted to go through that feeling of comple and utter failure again.

So, he did everything in his power to understand, to get better, to be a good son. 

All he wanted was to see the loving, approving look his parents used to give him, back when all it took was a scribble of crayon on paper to make them proud. 

He allowed himself to be pulled from his thoughts as he heard his name being called. he prayed it wasn’t Matthew.

-

The older teen had been cornering Roman almost every day. Admittedly, Matthew kept their meetings brief and only injured him where it could be concealed. It had been… maybe a week? Maybe two? Roman had lost track of time after the party, after he felt everything he worked for, crumble. 

Eventually Roman learned to play along, he learned to stick to himself for the day until Matthew gave him a look, from across a classroom or in the canteen. And Roman knew what it meant. 

Behind the school became a regular sight to Roman, he would sit, his leg bouncing, his nails between his teeth. Just waiting. Waiting until one of them showed up. It wasn’t always the whole group but Matthew was always present. 

Roman learned that if he kept quiet and followed their instruction then they would go easier on him. he didn’t know whether it was mercy or pity, but he didn’t mind as long as it meant he could walk afterwards. 

-

“Roman!” he heard as he began to stand up. 

Roman paused, that wasn’t Matthews voice. It wasn’t Remy’s either. He turned his head and was met with a purple figure. Roman grabbed his bag and began to back away, his heart pounding. 

No. No, no not yet. He wasn’t ready for that, for…**him**. 

After everything, he didn’t want to speak to the emo, he didn’t want to face him after the way he left. After what Logan had witnessed, he was sure Virgil knew. The phone call was loud and despite his acting he sensed the entire family knew something was wrong. He felt awful for making them all go through that, they were probably concerned, scared. _He_ made them feel like that. Guilt tore at his stomach and made him sick. 

But it wasn’t just guilt. 

That night every time Virgil touched him the spot would burn, he brushed it off as nerves. But now every time he caught the emo smiling or laughing from across the room, it made Roman smile and his stomach do flips. Roman couldn’t stop staring at his hair, how soft it looked. He imagined running his hands through it and it made his face blush. He couldn’t help watching Virgil, he was mesmerising. His face stayed in Roman's head, each feature perfectly memorised. Whenever he pictured Virgil, he couldn’t help the joy he felt. 

And it scared the prince. 

This was exactly what he was hoping to avoid. It was why he went to therapy. Why his parents where disappointed. It had happened once before and it was happening again. He was ruining all the progress he had made. He hadn’t thought of a guy in that way in years. He wasn’t about to let it happen again. Roman put the feeling down to simply being lonely. He was just missing a relationship, he was using Virgil as a way of filling the emptiness. Of course, he wasn’t gay. He wasn’t. 

-

“Roman, I swear to god” Virgil shouted jogging to catch up with the taller teen. He put a hand on Roman's shoulder and spun him around. 

“Seriously” Virgil chuckled “Listen, me and Remy are going out tonight. You wanna join?” he asked ruffling those purple strands that Roman would love to sink his fingers in. 

“Uh I'm not so sure” he said quietly, looking down at his feet. He knew if he met Virgil's eyes, he wouldn’t be able to stop his face turning red. 

“Come on Princey. I promise you’ll like it” he said smirking. 

Roman smiled lightly at the nickname. He finally looked at Virgil's face, his freckles where showing through his foundation and he was looking at Roman with those eyes. Those chocolate brown eyes that made Roman want to stare into them for hours. How could he refuse? 

He nodded, the corners of his lips twitching upwards. Virgil grinned. 

“Great! Meet me at my house at 7, you remember the address?”

Roman nodded dumbly, too distracted by Virgil's bright smile.

Virgil's grin got impossibly wider, giving a two fingered salute he walked away. Roman hoisted his bag higher, shuffling his feet. At least it was Remy as well. He lifted his head to hear Virgil shouting at him. 

“Oh, by the way! Wear something nice!” he shouted before running around a corner.

Roman bit his lip and headed towards chemistry. 

What in the heckity heck did Virgil class as _nice_?

-

Virgil breathed a sigh of relief as he ran around the corner. He clutched at his jacket to ground himself. Step one complete, Roman had accepted. Virgil had changed some details last minute, just to be sure Roman would be up for it. 

He had planned a night in advance for him and Roman to enjoy, he just hoped he had left enough time between Remy’s day as to not make Roman suspicious. He planned the day around making Roman comfortable and he was fairly sure it would work. 

He mentally ran through his timetable. He could afford to miss his final class. If he headed home now, he would have enough time to get ready and get his nerves in check. He set off pulling his head phones on automatically.

-

Roman stood in front of the mirror turning back and forth. What this ok? Was it too casual? He wore black jeans with a red short sleeved button up shirt. He felt it was the only nice thing he owned. Clothes were not at the front of his mind normally. 

‘Is this what Virgil would class as nice?’ he thought. Or would that be a tux. Or would he class anything not black as nice? Roman looked towards his bed. He had pulled out practically every bit of clothing he owned, nothing seemed to fit him right. It was either too baggy, or made him look fat. Nothing looked good on him anymore.

He looked at his phone, it was nearly seven. He grabbed his keys and tip toed his way out of the house. He wouldn’t dare take his car, and he was sure no buses made its way past Virgil’s house. So, he decided walking would do him some good. Scratch that considering distance, sprinting would do him some good. 

He arrived at Virgil's house at ten past seven completely out of breath. He cursed himself for being late as he rang the doorbell. He was given one simple instruction and he could even do that. His parents were right, he was usele-

“Hey Princey”

Roman snapped out of his spiral to see Virgil smiling at him. 

“Uh… Hey” he said rubbing the back of his neck.

Virgil smirked and called back into the house, “I'm going out, see you later!” Roman's heard a faint reply. 

“Okay kiddo, text if you need us! Love you!” 

Virgil chuckled “Love you too!” he said stepping outside. It was then that Roman took in Virgil's outfit, he wore blue jeans and a white shirt with a black jumper on top. He looked adorable. His hair was styled up and out of his face and his makeup was softer and more subtle than Roman had ever seen.

Virgil smirked when he saw Roman staring “What? It’s tiring to be emo 100% of the time” he giggled beginning to walk away. He tried to hide his blushing face, Roman was staring at him. In a good way. It made butterflies appear in his stomach. 

Roman chuckled and followed Virgil putting his hands in his pockets. He took a moment to realise they were alone. For the first time in months he was alone with Virgil Carson, and he didn’t like it. 

“Where’s Remy?” he asked trying to contain his nerves. 

Virgil pulled out his phone and began to scroll through Tumblr while walking. “He cancelled last minute” he said ever so slightly hesitant. Roman may just completely melt now. He was left with an evening alone with Virgil. He was sure the universe hated him. 

He let out a quiet “Oh…” while following Virgil to wherever they were going. Roman felt his chest tighten in fear. Surely after a night alone Virgil would finally come to the realisation that a punching bad was all he was good for. 

Roman felt his heart rate increase as Virgil turned a corner and stretched his arms out. “We have arrived!” 

Roman looked around in confusion. It just looked like a regular street. Nothing special, that was until Virgil rolled his eyes and dragged Roman over to the wall. There were posters advertising… shows? 

There were musicals, plays, workshops, gigs. This was a theatre! 

“Why are we at a theatre?” he asked trying to contain his excitement and not jump to conclusions. 

Virgil reached into his pocket “Isn’t it obvious? We’re seeing a show” he said calmly pulling out two tickets. Roman couldn’t help the squeal, he hadn’t seen a show in so long! He surged forward and hugged Virgil, lifting him up slightly while burying his head in his shoulder “Thank you! This is so amazing, you have no idea how long it’s been!” he rambled.

He was so caught up in the moment he nearly didn’t realise there was only two tickets. He pulled back “Why are there only two? I thought Remy cancelled last minute?” he said sceptically.

Virgil blushed and looked away. “Promise you won’t be mad or anything…?” Roman put a hand on his heart silently communicating that he promised “I kinda made that up…” he said quietly. “I didn’t think you would accept the offer if it was just me” he rubbed the back of his neck. Roman smiled. 

Virgil had paid for them both. He had gone out of his way to book this in advance. This wasn’t just a prank. Roman realised that this had to be genuine. Virgil had to sincerely care in order to organise this. 

“Well… what are we waiting for?” he said pulling Virgil by the arm inside the building. 

To say the least, they both were blushing pretty hard.


	14. Back alley junk food

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Look who's back with a normally scheduled update! I think posting on Sunday and Wednesday will work best for my schedule at the moment and I will do my best to stick to my promise. This is part two of Virgil scheme and I cant wait to see what you guys think. let me know of anything you guy want to see in the comments, hope you enjoy!

Roman and Virgil both were giggling when they walked out of the theatre. It was about half ten when they finally decided to get up from their seats. Virgil had chosen for them to a modern comedy and they clutched their sides remembering some of the jokes. 

Virgil couldn’t help allowing his attention to shift during the show. It wasn’t his scene anyway. Roman was so invested in the twists and turns of the performance that he didn’t notice Virgil's eyes on him for the majority of the night. 

He watched in silence as Roman’s eyes lit up brighter than the sun. He beamed for the entire show, letting that long forgotten laughter echo in the small hall. Virgil couldn’t help subtly mimicking his expression. He loved that laugh. He had only had the privilege of hearing it a handful of times. But he would happily record it and listen to it on repeat. He felt pride and compassion swelling inside of his chest. His heart thumped loudly anytime he heard Roman's small giggles. 

He didn’t say a word. Simply sat and watched the jade eyes of his companion twinkle in the dim theatre lights. 

As the two stepped out they shivered simultaneously, Roman huffed silently to himself. For once the chill that ran down his spine wasn’t due to fear, it wasn’t because of the utter terror he felt. It was just the cold. Despite the simplicity, the fact comforted Roman and relived some of the tension he carried with him. 

Virgil subconsciously stepped closer to the taller teen. It appeared that his plan was a success. The show went down perfectly, he could see Roman standing taller with more confidence. His self-hatred and the stress he always seemed to bear looked to have lessened slightly. 

“You look freezing” Roman said smiling down at Virgil. 

He shook his head “No I'm fine” he said chuckling at how cheesy the situation seemed. 

“How about we get something to eat? It will get us out of the cold a least” he said moving to stand opposite the emo. 

Virgil automatically went to brush his hair away from his eyes, forgetting how much product he put in it a few hours ago, to try and make it look nice. He couldn’t explain why he wanted to look nice. He knew it was just him and Roman, but he had never made an effort with Damien or Remy, there were multiple times that he showed up to their houses in oversized hoodies and sweatpants, his hair a mess and his makeup smudged. 

Virgil smirked and nodded “Probably the best idea you’ve come up with” he quipped, after receiving a pout he backtracked smiling “Sure Princey, there’s a 24-hour MacDonald’s not far away” he said walking away. 

Roman shook his head jogging to catch up with the younger boy. 

-

They sat in comfortable silence in a back alley eating their food. They decided against sitting inside, despite being nearly 11pm there was a large group of teens around their age shouting and being a general nuisance. The taller heard one of them mutter “That’s Roman Prince…” and he quickly made his way out of there. Virgil didn’t mind, he understood Roman's discomfort and obliged when prompted to leave. 

Roman was stood against the wall slouching while sipping his drink lost in thought. That was a common sight, Roman in his head. It seemed the teen never really left it; he was always staring off into the distance with a sad expression. It concerned the emo to no end but he knew better than to say something directly. 

He himself was sat cross legged on the ground, sure it was probably dirty, and being down a darkly lit alley wasn’t the best idea but he strangely didn’t feel any anxiety. In the back of his mind he knew Roman would protect him if anything bad ever happened. He stared up at the prince, trying to figure out what he was thinking about. He longed to be able to crawl inside Roman's head and battle the demons he so obviously kept hidden. But there was no way to fight the monsters unless Roman admitted they existed. 

And right now, it seemed he never would. 

Virgil finished his food and sat back against the cool brick behind him. He tilted his head to the side and continued observing Roman. 

-

Roman was reminiscing, as usual. Ever since the dinner at Virgil's, he couldn’t help entering his mind in search of memories. Memories of when his life functioned much like Virgil's did. When he too had a functioning support system. People, that when he was falling, he knew would catch him. People that would love him no matter what. 

He didn’t blame his parents. Of course, he didn’t, they were doing their best. He wasn’t the easiest child to deal with, he knew that. Remus was much more successful and they had reasons to be proud of him. His twin deserved praise. He did not.

But really, what had Roman done? Got a few parts in musicals? That didn’t matter. He needed to get his act together before he got kicked out. He had already thrown away his shot at a good social standing when he tried to fight Matthew. 

And here he was, eating junk food in some dingy alley, with the person he had sworn to avoid. What he come to?

In the back of his mind there was a niggling voice that tried to call out to him. 

**Speak up… this isn’t good…you’re crumbling**

It was faint but there none the less. Roman wanted to listen to it, he really did. he understood that sometimes his parents may go a little too far. And Matthew injuring him probably wasn’t good either. But alas, there was a louder voice in his head. One that constantly had sway over his feelings and actions. 

The voice that berated him and crushed him. 

_Who the fuck would listen to you? You're pathetic, you deserve everything coming to you, you're a disappointment. _

And… as much as Roman hated it… he believed every word. 

-

Virgil nudged Roman's foot with his own, bringing him out of the past. Roman's cast a confused glance at the emo. 

“Sit” Virgil said simply crossing his arms. Roman obliged and sat down still sipping on his straw absent minded. 

“I... I want to talk about that night, when you had dinner with us” Virgil said, he had been building up to this moment for days. And while he didn’t exactly hear what his father had said to his dad after he returned, he could interpret the tone. 

That got Roman's attention, he stopped chewing on the straw and stared wide eyed at Virgil, before spluttering and forcing a laugh. “W-What do you mean? Everything was perfectly fine! There is no reason for you to want to talk!” he rambled waving his arms and dropping his cup in the process. 

Virgil smiled sadly “Roman… let me speak” Roman obeyed instantly, shutting his mouth abruptly and taking a defensive position. Virgil sighed “First, I want to talk about that phone call you got.” Roman's stomach plummeted “Now… I didn’t hear anything specific but when you came back, I could have sworn you had tears in your eyes-” he looked at Roman kindly “-you said it as from your mother… but… I kinda hope you were lying” 

Roman swallowed staring at his feet. He took a deep breath “I-It was my mother… but it wasn’t bad! I promise… I just… um” he trailed off, he didn’t want to admit what the call was about, but he also didn’t want to lie. Virgil deserved the truth. 

The emo prompted him “Ro?” he said softly.

He sighed and put his head in his hands “I-I missed an important a-appointment… I wasted her money… I couldn’t do a simple thing right… I let her down… I let everyone down…” he said quietly. Despite his efforts, in the silent alley Virgil heard every word. 

“Oh… Roman” he said moving forward to put a hand on his shoulder. Roman flinched as his fingers brushed a painful mark at the top of his back. Virgil instantly retracted his hand. “Princey, look at me” 

Roman slowly let his hands fall away, he noticed they were shiny with tears and cursed himself. He longed to hit his head, to make himself feel the pain deserved for allowing himself to fucking SOB. He was pathetic… 

_I told you… you’re not worth shit… you can’t even keep yourself from blubbering like a fucking baby… I don’t see Virgil, or Remy or Damien crying over their problems, do you? You’re NOTHING compared to them. **NOTHING**_

Virgil watched shock etched on his face as Roman revealed his tear-stricken face, only to then shake his head and latch on to his hair. His eyes glossed over and unfocused.

Virgil slowly placed his hands over Roman's, guiding them from his hair, Roman locked eyes with him sniffing slightly. Virgil reached out to wipe away the tears. “You don’t let everyone down Roman… you don’t let me down for one… and if she truly cared she would be more concerned about you than her money” he held Roman’s cheek comfortingly. 

Roman finally smiled. His heart thudded at Virgil's words. He didn’t detect any lies. But even if the other didn’t care about him at all, it was nice to finally hear affirming words again. 

Sitting up on his knees, he pulled Roman into a hug. The prince sat stunned for a moment before latching onto Virgil's jumper tightly. He buried his head in his neck and squeezed his eyes shut. He didn’t want another reappearance of tears. 

All too soon Virgil pulled away, he took Roman's hand and helped him stand. Even though Virgil was smaller than him, Roman felt tiny stood there under his gaze. The small smile Virgil was giving him, made him blush. 

Virgil had been planning to address the way his father acted when he got home, but he decided to table that for another day. “I'm here for you Princey … whenever you need me”

Roman nodded a small “thankyou…” escaping his lips. 

Virgil smiled at that, and held Roman's hand as they walked home. Roman didn’t object to interlacing his fingers with Virgil's, it wasn’t romantic. It wasn’t. He just needed comfort and this was Virgil's way of supplying it. But there was that quiet, understanding voice. 

**But you wish it was… don’t you? **

Roman ignored it and focused on the stars above him. 

-

As Roman and Virgil's said goodnight to each other at Virgil's door, they embraced again. 

“Call me if you ever, I mean ever, need me ok?” Virgil whispered in his ear. Roman shivered and nodded. 

Virgil saluted and walked inside. 

Roman sighed happily and walked home. A slight spring in his step.


	15. Fine, fine line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a shorter one this chapter, I suppose it could be counted as a song chapter, if that makes sense. Hope you all enjoy, leave any questions or suggestions in the comments and ill see you all again on Sunday! <3

Virgil Remy and Damien at a table in the corner of the canteen.

Virgil was the first to notice Roman. He nudged Remy and pointed to where the prince was standing in the queue. They watched silently as he bought a single apple and quickly left, scanning the outside area before running towards the theatre. 

Due to Roman no longer having to concern himself with Matthew, he spent most of his time doing the thing he truly loved, performing. Not for anyone else, for himself. He would stand on stage and belt his heart out or say a few lines and it calmed him. He shut the door behind him and locked himself in his little bubble of happiness. 

As Roman had walked, he winced, his eyes were red, puffy and swollen. Virgil could only assume Matthew had cornered him again. 

Practically everyone knew what the gang were doing at his point. But Roman refuse to acknowledge what was happening. Whenever Virgil or Remy attempted to talk to him, he stumbled over his responses and gave one-word answers. 

After the days with both of them, the friends hoped that Roman would feel more comfortable around them. If anything, Roman seemed even more detached than before. 

Remy and Virgil shared a look as Roman bolted. They were both worried but didn’t know what else they could do for him. They both had tried to show Roman that they cared, but nothing seemed to help. 

That was when Virgil realised a fact that set his blood boiling. 

Damien hadn’t done a thing to assist Roman. 

He hadn’t spoken to Roman since the day he pushed Virgil. It made him grind his teeth and a scowl rest on his face. What was happening was frankly disgusting. The other two had made an effort and yet Damien still refused to even look in Roman's direction. 

Virgil fixed him with a glare. The boy seemed blissfully unaware of what had happened. He was sat, a calm look on his face, occasionally sipping a bottle of water scrolling through his phone. He was running a hand through his boyfriend’s hair but hadn’t noticed Remy’s head turning to look at Roman. 

“Damien?” Virgil asked trying to hide his increasing frustration, how dare he sit there when their friend was hurting so much. 

He only received a hum from the beanie clad teen. 

“Have you decided what you are doing to help Princey yet?” he asked curling his fingers into fists.

Damien shook his head not taking his eyes off of his phone “Nah” he said simply. 

Remy sat up straight looking to his boyfriend with something akin to disappointment. 

“ARE you going to do something babe?” Remy said leaning against Damien’s shoulder. 

“Don’t think so” He shrugged. 

Virgil stiffened “What do you mean, why not?” he said though clenched teeth. 

“I mean I don’t think it’s that important” he said waving a hand in the air. 

“A-Are you kidding?” Virgil asked. 

Damien finally met his eyes. “What?” 

“You seriously aren’t going to help in any way?” 

“I haven’t pummelled him to the ground for what he did, that’s a lot for me Virge”

Virgil shook his head and pulled up his hood, he didn’t want to have an argument but this was something Damien had agreed to, something Virgil cared about. 

Remy took over, knowing he had a way to charm his boyfriend. “Dee? Please help Ro… even if its just a movie night or something.” He said hugging his arm. 

Damien frowned “Darling, I don’t want to look at his face unless I get to punch it” he said leaning into Remy’s hold. 

Remy pulled back, moving his sunglasses on top of his head and looking sternly at the other “Listen here mister, you will help out RoRo in one way or another you hear me? Or no kisses or cuddles for a week” he said crossing his arms. 

Damien sat with a vacant look on his face “Really? You are blackmailing me? Wow, I thought I was the cynical one in this relationship…” Virgil chuckled at that. Damien sighed “Fine! I’ll help him. But I can’t promise that I won’t give him a taste of his own medicine…” he trailed off. Looking distant. 

Virgil raised his head finally calm again now that he had agreed. Damien had a cliché cartoon eureka moment, a shit eating grin spread across his face. “That’s it” he said quietly. 

He stood up and began speed walking toward the door. Remy caught on before Virgil did “No, no babe violence is not the answer here!” he said standing up trying to stop Damien from leaving. 

Virgil turned to face Dee with a look of concern. He was already at the door the smile still plastered on his face. “Violence is always the answer!” he shouted before jogging off. 

Virgil slowly turned back to Remy. “Roman's not going to make it out of this alive, is he?”

Remy shook his head, sighing pulling his sunglasses back over his eyes. 

-

Roman stood on the stage facing into an empty audience. He guessed he should thank Matthew really, since he snuck around so often to try and avoid the gang, he noticed that the hall was never used at lunch and the key was left on the desk by the door. It allowed Roman the perfect escape, even If it was only for 40 minutes. 

He pulled his phone out and scrolled through his music, he clicked on his newest addition, a musical he had stumbled across randomly, Avenue Q. He scrolled through some of the more… delicately themed songs and settled on his favourite, ‘there’s a fine, fine line’. It seemed to hit differently as of late. He sat on the edge of the stage and let the music fill his ears. 

_There’s a fine fine line, between a lover… and a friend. _

He chuckled, finer than you would think in some cases. The night he spent with Virgil… what WAS that? To an outsider it would seem like a date, like a cute couple outing. But they weren’t together… they were barely friends at this point. 

He just sat moving his head to the beat, closing his eyes and joining in later on. 

_There a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie…_

He remembered the times he would spend hours with his brother, reading all the nursery rhymes and fairy stories they could find. He felt something boil in his chest and he stood up, going into his head voice to reach the notes 

_I guess if someone doesn’t love you back, it isn’t such a crime…but there’s a fine, fine line between love~ and a waste of your time~ _

Were the moments he shared with Remus, with his parents… were they all forgotten now? Did they mean anything anymore? What about Virgil? The times he spent with him… were they just as much of a waste? 

He moved backwards grabbing his head tearing at his hair, acting like he had a full audience, instead of just the music in his ears. 

_For my own sanity I’ve gotta close the door and walk away… oh…_

He dropped his shoulders, the realisation hitting him like a truck. Why the song had a different meaning all of a sudden. It was a way out, a way to protect those he cared about from having to deal with his bullshit personality, his inconsequential problems and his pathetic excuse for friendship. 

No matter who he got close to. He always ended up driving them away, causing them pain. He couldn’t do that again… not to Virgil. 

_THERES A FINE, FINE LINE BETWEEN LOOVE~_

_And a waste of… time~_

He finished, panting and tear at the corners of his eyes. He ran a hand down his face. 

-

He heard slow applause emanating from the back of the theatre.

Roman's heart jumped. Someone had heard him? Someone had heard him sing to no audience like a freak. 

A figure stepped from the shadows. He saw the bright yellow beanie first, half of him relaxed at the familiar sight but the other’s panic increased tenfold, Damien Anguis, the boy who now hated his guts, had him trapped. 

“I-I thought I locked the door” he stuttered 

“Oh, you did…all the school uses the same lock, it’s easy to bypass it if you have had practise” he said holding up a makeshift key looking like it had been made of plastic from a mould. He should have known someone like Damien would have ways to break into locked areas. 

He ran a hand through his hair. 

“How much of that did you hear?” 

“Oh, all of it…” Roman began to speak but Dee cut him off “I will say Prince, it was impressive. Tell you what, since you clearly find sanctuary here, I’ll make you a deal. I won’t reveal this little secret to the school if you do something for me.”

Roman hesitantly stepped down onto the floor, this sounded like a bad idea, but what could he do? He needed this place, it kept him sane. Matthew would know his hiding spot if it got out. 

“What sort of something?” he asked cautiously 

“Hmm” Damien said a finger on his chin in a mock thoughtful expression “Meet me at the school gates at half four.” He looked Roman up and down “And wear something you wouldn’t mind running in” he said smirking. 

And with that Damien was gone. 

Roman ran a hand down his face, yep, he was going to be murdered.


	16. Damien's own brand of helping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Im actually on time again, I had spare time this week so i'm ahead on chapters currently writing number 19 so I will be able to post on time for a few weeks, hope you enjoy. If any of you want a bit of backstory on Damien let me know!

Roman cautiously approached the school gates. He didn’t really understand Damien’s instruction but he wore sweatpants and a red t shirt regardless, he thought nervously about what Damien had planned for him.

He caught a glimpse of the other leaning against the wall, he was wearing black shorts with a snake themed vest top. Gone was the beanie and jean jacket. It was a strange look on the boy and it unsettled Roman. What were they doing? Damien had completely changed his style for the activity, that alone seemed out of character for him. He wore the same beanie every day and only ever changed his shirt or the pins on his jacket. 

He looked up from his phone and smirked slyly at Roman. 

“You followed my instruction… vaguely” he said as he looked the slightly taller teen up and down. “I kinda wished you wore jeans, it would have been funny” he chuckled at the joke only he seemed to understand and walked away. Roman hesitated before following. Maintaining at least a two-foot gap himself and Damien. He would say it out of curtesy due how Damien hated his personal space being invaded by anyone other than his boyfriend, but it was mostly based on fear. 

“So… where are we actually going snake fa-” he stopped abruptly when Damien turned around and raised an eyebrow. “D-Damien... I meant Damien” he corrected himself. He had gotten used to using Dee’s unfortunate nickname. He had forgotten how rude and cruel it truly was.

“We’re going somewhere to teach you a lesson” he smirked again. Roman's breath caught in his throat. 

_If he punches you, you can’t even defend yourself. Its gonna be worse this time, this guy’s got a motive. A motive YOU gave him. You’ll be beaten to a pulp and you’ll deserve it. Everyone’s gonna know how you beaten by a fag. _

Roman's breathing stuttered as he heard the cruel words being hissed in his ear. 

**No! He used to care about you, maybe he still does? Damien is not a fag. Neither is Remy or Virgil. Heck you yourself like hi-**

His thoughts stopped their bickering as Damien walked inside what looked to be a gym. 

Roman took in the sign at the front of the building. ‘Serpent gym and fitness’, it fitted him rather well. He hurried inside stress twisting his stomach. He couldn’t even fathom a guess as to why they were at a gym. 

He saw Damien talking to the boy behind the counter. He looked about the same age as Roman if not a few years older. He was wearing a black shirt with a skull on the front, he had ginger hair with streaks of purple that reminded Roman of Halloween. As he turned his head, he could clearly see the makeup the boy was wearing. Damien and the stranger looked to him as he walked through the door. 

“This is him?” the orange and purple haired boy said, giving a questioning look to Dee. He simply nodded in response, smirking at the others next comment. 

“Geeze Dee, you told me a lot but you never mentioned he’d be hot” he chuckled. There was a darkness to his tone and an aura of mystery about him that would normally intrigue Roman, if it wasn’t for the fact that he reminded him too much of Virgil, leaving only a sense of uncomfortableness. 

Roman rubbed his arm awkwardly. Dee wanted to stay put, just so he could see that look on Roman's face a little longer. But he was sympathetic, his friend could be a lot to handle sometimes. For god’s sake he looked like the literal embodiment of Halloween. That freaked people out.

“Come on Roman. Toby? Am I good to use the back room?” Toby nodded waving a had dismissively, smiling at the prince through thick artificial lashes. Damien gestured for Roman to follow him. As Roman walked past, he noticed Toby wink at him. He avoided eye contact and felt his face go red. 

Damien opened a large door labelled “Staff only” that set Roman on edge. What was he planning? The other huffed a laugh before entering what looked like a typical supply closet. 

The smaller teen stood in the middle of the room with his arms crossed. “Close the door” he said fixing Roman with a stare. 

Roman complied and moved to face his companion. 

“I have been informed that I must ‘help’ you in one way or another” he rolled his eyes “But in reality, all I want to do is wipe that stupid smirk you wore off your face” he said airily. “So, I decided to combine them.” He said before walking over to a shelf and pulling out a blue roll. 

Roman watched with apprehension as Damien rolled it out. It looked like a crash mat. 

Damien faced him. 

“Defend yourself” he said simply, bringing his hands up towards his face. 

That was all the notice Roman got before a forceful punch was landed to his chin. He reeled back, stumbling holding his face. He opened his eyes again to see Damien standing smugly. He looked at him incredulously. 

“I said defend yourself” he shrugged in his defence. He resumed his stance and Roman copied, expecting another hit. 

“Good” Damien said. Roman smiled lightly before he doubled over as he felt his stomach cave. He groaned dropping his hands and grabbing his stomach. “Always keep your eyes on your opponent, come on Roman this isn’t difficult.” He heard. 

Damien landed another punch before Roman could even recover, it hit his cheek and made him nearly loose his balance.

Roman stood up slowly before promptly falling on his ass with a sore chin. In a flash Damien had landed an uppercut and shoved Roman hard in the chest, he lay on the floor, tensed and ready for another blow. 

Roman stayed clutching at his stomach trying not to cry. He was used to this position but it didn’t hurt any less especially since it was Damien, someone he once considered a friend. 

He felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head to see Damien looking at him worriedly. 

“You ok Prince?” he asked squeezing Roman's shoulder. 

He wasn’t used to this kind of compassion. He was used to being beaten black and blue with no questions asked. But there seemed to be genuine concern in that mismatched face. 

Roman swallowed and stood up nodding. Damien smiled “Alright, I’ve repaid your actions towards Virge… Here, copy what I do” he said taking his position again. 

Roman moved to his hands in front of his face. Damien reached out and carefully moved his hands further apart and downward. “There that’s better” he stood back for a moment before bringing up his left palm. “Hit it” he said. 

Roman looked between his eyes and his hand, silently questioning whether he was serious. When he nodded Roman forcefully hit the hand with his knuckles, wanting to follow instructions in case he got hit again. 

Damien smiled, “Not too bad Ro, but let me show you how to properly do it”. He demonstrated different ways to hit, each time slowly adjusting and encouraging Roman until he got it right. 

Roman shook out his hand as he landed a powerful hit to Damien’s hand. A question crossed his mind. He had seen Damien demonstrate complicated moves with perfect precision, “How do you know all this? I mean how do you know how to fight this way?” he asked.

Damien smiled, willing to share the information with Roman. “It was a good few years ago and I was going through some stuff at home, all of it made me so fucking angry. I ended up taking it out on people who didn’t deserve it. Toby was in the year above me in school, one day he forced me to come with him to this gym.” Damien chuckled as he leaned against one of the shelves. “I put up a good fight, I even gave him a black eye but he shoved me in here and over about 5 hours taught me how to hit properly. How to dent a punching bag instead of someone else. It actually helped a lot. Whenever I needed to, I knew I could come here and expel the anger I had. He’s been there for me ever since” he said smiling genuinely. 

Roman smiled “That’s wonderful, I'm also sure it came in handy when dealing with less than polite individuals” 

Damien nodded “Yeah, and now I'm doing the same for you, so listen here…”

-

Roman was begging to get tired. He felt his shirt sticking to him and his legs were boiling. He couldn’t imagine doing this in jeans. 

After maybe another hour, Roman was out of breath and panting, “When are we done Dee?”

“We are done when this becomes a knee jerk reaction for you” 

“But I’ve done enough, I know how to punch and how to block, you said yourself I picked it up pretty quickly!” he protested. 

Damien rolled his shoulders, “Alright, show me” 

“Show you what?”

“Show me right now how much you remember, then we go home.”

Roman rolled his eyes and headed for the door. “That’s not needed, you can see how good I am at this already” he said confidently. 

Damien stuck his arm out stopping Roman from leaving. “Not yet Roman, you need to actually show me”

Roman huffed, “Really? I'm tired! Come on Dee move” he said moving to push the smaller boy out of his way. Damien grabbed Roman's wrist and twisted it behind his back. Roman yelped in pain. “Ow, ow! Ok Damien, let go!” he shouted. 

He complied and let go of his wrist. “One hit, all you have to do is land a hit on me, then we can go”

Roman stood straighter smiling cockily “Is that all?”

“Ready Princey?” he said raising an eyebrow. 

“Copying Virgil? I expected better” 

Damien shook his head “Land a hit or we stay here Ro” 

Roman jumped forwards trying to catch Damien off guard and get the ordeal over and done with. But Damien seemed to be alert constantly, he moved one step to the right, easily dodging Roman's attempt. 

He laughed “Clearly you don’t remember anything I told you, you left yourself vulnerable and disorientated” he said swiping his leg underneath Roman, knocking him over. He stood back up chuckling. 

Roman jumped up a little annoyed at how much joy this was bringing the other. He jabbed towards Damien’s shoulder but his punch was blocked by a palm. 

This repeated, over and over again. Roman going in for a hit only to have his fist knocked away by a precise hand. 

He grumbled to himself, hating how easy this way for Damien. He had already taken a dozen hits in his quest to even touch Damien at this point. He looked down at his feet scowling, that’s when he noticed it. Damien always, ALWAYS stepped with his left foot before he threw a punch. Roman smirked darkly. He could feel the fire in his eyes, he was determined to do this, he wanted to show Damien, as well as himself, that he could do it. 

As predicted Damien took a step, aiming straight for Roman's head, his hand shot out and grabbed his wrist and pulled. 

Damien was thrown off balance and landed face first into the crash mat. He took a second to snap out of his daze. He felt a sharp sting in his cheek. He looked up confused to see Roman standing over him smiling. The cocky bastard had flicked him. 

“I count that as a hit, if not I’ll gladly punch you” he said sweetly. 

Damien laughed loudly, hoisting himself up off the floor. “Nah, that’s not needed. I am curious though, what made you react so quickly to that particular punch? No offence but you’re usual pretty slow” 

Roman shrugged “I noticed you step before you swing” 

Damien paused from where he was rolling that mat back up again. “You noticed that?” 

Roman nodded, Damien shook his head to himself “No one else has noticed, I'm impressed” he said placing the mat back on the shelf. 

Roman smiled, “May I leave now?” he asked. 

Damien nodded “Yeah I’ll be out in a minute just need to put stuff back” he said gesturing for Roman to go. 

He happily opened the door to escape the stifling heat of the room. Immediate he made eye contact with Toby. He didn’t expect him to be there still but was weirdly happy to have someone to talk to. He wandered over, gone was his initial awkwardness, he felt weirdly renewed and confident. 

“Hey, I'm sorry I didn’t introduce myself earlier” he smiled. 

He felt Toby’s eyes run over him “No problem, I think Dee called you Roman? I normally only hear drama queen, or dickhead when he’s talking about you” he said in his gravely voice. 

“Yes, I'm roman prince, nice to meet you” 

“More than nice on my part, I'm Toby Season” he smirked.

Roman matched his expression with ease, and the two maintained eye contact until he heard Damien shouting.

“Ready to go?” he said walking up beside him. Roman nodded. 

“See you Toby” Damien called over his shoulder as they exited. 

“Bye Dee, bye hot stuff” Roman smirked at that. He wasn’t weird out by the compliments, they were appreciated. It was nice to have someone find him attractive. Even if it was a boy, but that didn’t make him gay or anything. 

-

As they walked back home Damien sighed “Do you know why I dragged you here?” 

“It was more like forced but I guess? You wanted to get back at me for hurting Virgil, and fair enough if I was you, I’d do the same thing-”

“No… you know why Toby helped me?”

“Because you were taking your anger out on others?”

“Yeah, but also so I could stand up to people. Being gay in a catholic school wasn’t fun”

Roman gave a look of sympathy. 

“I did this today so YOU can stand up to that dick now.” He said looking at the ground. 

“Who?” 

“Matthew” he spat “You won’t let anyone else help, so you have to help yourself, I know your seventeen and not a kid but you need to do something Ro…” he trailed off. He had never been good at talking to anyone but Remy and Virgil. 

Roman walked in silence for a minute, thinking over everything. He dropped his shoulders and chuckled, “Thanks Damien” he said quietly.

“Any time” he said punching Roman in the shoulder lightly.


	17. Knee jerk reactions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! hope you are all having a good spoopy month so far, in the spirit of all things evil I may do a random little halloween one shot with the characters because why not? hope you all enjoy!

Roman cracked his spine as he got out of bed, he was sore and tired from the day before. Damien had worked parts of his body he didn’t even know existed. Everything was screaming at him to stay still, but he couldn’t afford to miss another day of school.

He checked the time and jumped into the shower turning the heat as high as he could tolerate, maybe this would loosen his muscles. 

Roman sighed as he got out of the shower rubbing his hair dry. He moved over to the grand wardrobe tucked into the corner of his room. It always gave him a Narnia vibe, he smiled at the memory of Remus and himself hiding inside and pretending to be the characters they adored so much. As time went on Roman often sat inside on his own, trying to escape the shouting coming from behind those wooden doors. 

Roman shook his head, that was in the past, no use dwelling on it now. He smiled as he grasped the ornate handles, inside was every bit of clothing he had par some socks and t shirts he had on standby in a drawer. 

He sighed happily as he took in all of his clothes, he hadn’t worn many of them in months, he felt more confident after his time with Damien, confident enough to wear one of his old outfits. He brought his hand up to his ear lobe, carefully feeling the indent he had from where they were pierced. As soon as he got home, he had taken them out. He wasn’t ready for his parents to see that. But maybe he would put them in again, they did look nice so perhaps he could incorporate them into his outfit. 

_You know, you say you don’t want people to hate you… and yet you do this? You're genuinely considering whether wearing earrings to school would be ‘fun’, do you like this? Do you like the attention you get because of it? Or are you just plain stupid? _

**You should be able to wear whatever you want! People shouldn’t pick on you just because you have earrings or wear lighter colours. **

_But that’s the society we live in! if you don’t at least attempt to like the others then you deserve what you get for seeking out confrontation_

**But that’s not the way you gain respect or friends, following the crowd will only hurt you!”**

“Stop it! Stop it!” he hissed shaking his head. 

He couldn’t handle his constant back and forth, what the two differing voices in his head wanted him to do. He couldn’t take it, it felt like he was being ripped apart at the seams. 

He took a deep breath, barely looking up before grabbing the first jacket he saw. He looked down at it fondly. It was a solid dark red with gold trimming around the zipper and hood, it made him feel like the prince he pretended to be years ago. 

He slipped it on smiling lightly, he pulled on some blue ripped jeans and took a seat in front of his mirror. His eye caught on to the discarded makeup pallets he hadn’t touched for months. He ran his finger over the outside, should he? 

It wouldn’t hurt right? Just a touch of eyeshadow or mascara won’t be that bad. He smiled thinking over colour schemes and patterns in his head as he grabbed the earrings he took out. 

He stared at his reflection for a moment, before lining it up with the mark and painfully jabbing it through his ear. He hissed at how it stung, but weeks without having them in will do that. He quickly did the other one and turned to his hoard of makeup. 

This was going to be fun 

-

Roman looked himself up and down and grinned. He turned his head side to side to see the subtle shine of silver in his ears. He was proud of the way he looked for once. He could feel less tension in his shoulders, he stood taller and couldn’t stop the smile creeping to his lips. 

This was Roman Prince. 

Not the tough, angry, football playing kid. 

Not the shy, insecure, stumbling mess Dee, Remy and Virge had seen him as. 

Roman Prince was the loud, extroverted, confident, theatre kid that never shied away from wearing what he wanted and singing at the top of his lungs. The one who held his head up high. The one who encouraged those around him to try new things. The one who-

**The one who finally admits to what’s happening in his heart? **

Roman's smile dropped. There was nothing in his heart. Just passion and drive to do what he loved. 

If a beautiful girl came along, he would be just like everyone else, swooning over her, trying to chat her up-

_Oh, it’s a she now is it? Funny, that’s not what’s in your head… _

Roman growled at his own inability to shut out thoughts. 

He grabbed his bag and headed for the door, making sure to keep his head low to conceal the makeup he had on.

-

Roman sat in the canteen reading his book. it was titled ‘Lancelot’ it was the myth of king Arthur, Guinevere and his most trusted knight. He had loved every word. He had begun to read it before his encounter with Matthew and had recently found it, hidden away at the bottom of one his drawers. It was the first time he felt comfortable sitting out in the open in a long time. 

However, he could feel Virgil’s eyes on his from across the room, he could see the emo as he turned, whispered something into Remy’s ear that caused the Starbucks enthusiast to look at him also. It was unnerving to have them both staring at him so intensely. It was as if they were studying him, waiting for his next move. 

_Could they be any more obvious? _

He shook away the thought and focused on the words in front of him. 

After a while of reading the same paragraph over and over again, Roman dropped his book onto the table in frustration, he just couldn’t concentrate, something in the back of his mind told him those looks weren’t good. 

He lifted his head and immediately caught the eye of Matthew. 

The other was already staring intently at him, as if he had been trying to get Roman's attention for a while. That wasn’t good either. 

Matthew gave a curt nod and Roman lowered his gaze and sighed. His face was like thunder, he wondered if he was going to make it out of this one alive, Matthew looked ready to kill. He began to pack up his belongings. 

Grabbing his bag, he causally walked out of the lunch hall. Perhaps his acting was getting better? 

He was sure the entire group were staring at him. he didn’t know if it was sympathy or disgust, but either way Roman hated the way the all knew where he was going. 

He chuckled to himself at the irony of it all, as he made his way behind the school building. Yesterday he was being taught how to pummel a punching bag. Yet now, he himself was the punching bag. He remembered Damien’s words. 

~ “You won’t let anyone else help, so you have to help yourself” ~

Yeah. Like Roman would every stand up to these people. He’d be murdered and his last few moments would be a nightmare. 

He leaned against the wall, trying to keep his breathing even. He felt his legs shaking, he had almost… _almost, _ forgot how this felt. The anticipation, the imminent and inescapable events. 

Roman knew he could leave and hide at any point, but in his mind, it was as if he was shackled to the wall. Unable to break free, unable to escape. 

He perked up as he heard footsteps around the corner. he pre-emptively placed his bag down on the floor and kept his eyes on the ground. 

“Well… What do we have here? A little fairy decided to dress up today?” Matthew sneered, Roman heard snickers in response so knew he was not alone. He stayed silent. 

“Well?... Answer me then!” he jeered, hitting Roman on the side of the head with his palm. “Is there a brain in there? HELLO?!” he screamed down Roman's ear. 

He jerked and screwed his eyes shut. He would have a head ache that night, he was sure of it. He heard a laugh. And the screaming voice became a low whisper. 

“I’ll just have to force it out of you, eh?” 

Roman raised his eyes a little out of curiosity, he wanted to know how many there were today, how many hits he would have to take. 

He counted at least six from the glance he got before a fist was being aimed right at his eyes. 

Roman screwed his eyes shut and flinched. 

His hand collided with Matthews.

He prised open his eyes to see his own forearms blocking Matthews punch. He recognised the stance as the one Damien had taught him. It had become a knew jerk reaction. Just like the boy had promised. 

The corner of his lips upturned. He had blocked a punch… from Matthew. Roman locked eyes with his attacker. 

He looked shocked and confused, but also awed. It was a rare look on Matthew, but one Roman wanted to see more of. 

“What do you think you are playing at?” Matthew growled. 

Playing? Oh, it was a game was it? Well in that case…

One hit. 

That’s all that would be needed, to show them he could fight back. It was just like back at the gym, land one hit and you can go home. 

Roman bit his lip and decided on his choice. For once his fight or flight instinct chose the aggressive side. And boy was Roman living for the adrenaline rush. 

He moved his arms pushing Matthews hand away from his face in a flourish.

Who said he couldn’t do it with style? 

He stepped forward as Damien did, and threw his first punch. One simple jab to the cheek, a warning if you will. 

Matthew looked utterly furious as he snapped out of his daze. He turned on Roman and pounced forwards attempting to get his hands to Roman's neck. It was a surge of energy that moved Roman form his spot to three inches left, causing Matthew to miscalculate and miss entirely. This was fun. 

Roman smacked him upside the head, mostly to taunt rather than do any damage. It worked and Matthew grew even more vicious. He shouted abuse as Roman danced circled around him. Missing no punches and avoiding almost all of Matthews. He couldn’t help but giggle as he saw his former ‘friend’ grow closer and closer to snapping. 

After a long while of this fleeting around him, Roman had had his fun and wanted out. He faced Matthew again head on, a mischievous glint in his eye. 

“Hit me” he said cockily. Matthew looked him up and down with distaste. “Go on… I dare you” he hissed. 

Matthew reached out to land a forceful hit to Roman's nose. But his wrist was grabbed and he was spun into the hold Roman had been the day earlier. He shouted in pain. 

“Let go of me you freak!” he shouted. 

Roman mimed thinking “Hmm… How about no? You’ve had this coming, I'm done being your little punching bag ok? Leave me the fuck alone, or I swear I will do everything in my power to make sure you are writhing with pain. Every. Single. Day.” He spat. He probably got a bit too hateful towards the end, but whatever it took to get Matthew away from him. 

Matthew held out for a moment before Roman tightened his grip on his arm making him jerk in pain “Fine! I won’t bother with you, just get your hands off me Prince” he shouted. Roman let go and shoved Matthew forward, making him meet the concrete with a smile. 

“I’ll hold you to your word” he said picking his bag up off the floor. 

Stunned silence followed him as he made his way back towards the canteen. He had a book to read.


	18. Ice cream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Hope you like this chapter, there is fluff upon fluff an its kinda strange to write after so much angst, but let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy!

As Roman entered the canteen again he noticed the empty table in the corner, the trio had left. He couldn’t help feeling disappointed. He wanted Damien to know what he had done, he wanted to show Remy his makeup and earrings and he wanted to show Virgil that he wasn’t the weak mess he seemed. He wanted them to be proud of him. 

But it didn’t matter, he thought shaking himself slightly, the news probably wouldn’t spread. It would be like his little secret achievement, Matthew definitely wouldn’t want anyone to know what had happened. And even if Roman told someone, he doubted they would believe him. Despite this he received a few shocked looks as he returned. 

He guessed they didn’t expect him back so soon, and so unscathed. He let the victory buzz cloud his usual judgement, and he smiled at them as he passed. He could feel all the chemicals running through his body that usually told him to run, telling him to face the music.

It was oddly exhilarating to have this energy and confidence, he hadn’t felt like this in years and it was intoxicating. 

He reclaimed his table and pulled out his book again, ready to finally finish the chapter he had been re-reading over and over again. He smiled to himself as he heard the murmurs rise up around him, he didn’t catch much just a few broken phrases. Why was he so unhurt? Where was Matthew? It was true that Matthew usually left the scene first and let Roman either come to, after being knocked out, or recover his strength by himself. 

He grinned as he envisioned him having to walk around school knowing people were suspicious as to why all of a sudden Roman Prince wore makeup and earrings and got out of a beating, from the self-appointed king of the school. 

He just prayed they would stick to their word. If Matthew tried anything with his entire gang backing him up, Roman wasn’t sure he would be able to leave unharmed. He could now defend himself in a fight and land and throw decent punches, but fending off upwards of five athletes? Not a chance. 

They used to mean the world to him, and they instantly turned their backs on him. It was devastating. 

Guilt made his stomach flip suddenly. He had been so crushed by Matthews presence and actions that he became even more isolated and insecure. What he did to Damien, Remy and especially Virgil was not that different. 

His eyes unfocused on the page and he felt like face palming, he had fucked up… so badly. 

God why was he so stupid? 

**It took you long enough…**

The voice echoed in his mind, he waited for the negative thought, the cloud of gloom to settle over him again. 

But it never came. The strong voice was seemingly alone in his mind. 

**You need to find them, you need to apologise… it’s the least they deserve. **

Roman huffed at his own stupidity, he needed to talk to them. To them all. 

-

Roman bit his lip nervously as he walked out of the building, he had been searching for close to half an hour. He was beginning to get nervous. Perhaps they decided to avoid Roman for what he did. Those looks from before was them making up their mind to ditch him permanently.

His eyes searched the yard and settled on a huddled group in the corner of the field. He looked closer and saw three figures, the striking purple stood out to him. He only knew one person with that amount of manifested angst. It had to be them. 

He sucked in a breath and made his way over cautiously. Counting his steps, he tried to rehearse what he was going to say to them in his head. But he stopped abruptly when Damien’s eyes focused on him suspiciously. 

“Speak of the devil” he said quietly to the other two. They immediately mirrored his action and stared up at Roman incredulously. Much like the looks he got as soon as he returned from his encounter with Matthew. 

“H-Hey” he said clearing his throat. He didn’t mean to sound this nervous. Sure, he wished the earth would simply swallow him and condemn him to a lifetime of torture, but he was the new and improved Roman Prince. He could do this. 

Remy smiled slightly, Damien nodded and Virgil spoke “Uh… Hi Princey” 

Roman counted to five in his head and began “I came here to say I'm sorry” he stated looking at his feet. He heard Virgil begin to speak but cut him off “Please, let me say everything and then you can turn me away” he said sadly continuing.

“The way I behaved towards all of you was despicable and there is no excuse for my actions. Over the past few months I have come to realise… I miss you all.”

He lifted his eyes and met Remy’s “Remy, I miss your constant chatter, I miss your sense of style and your tips on how to dress. As of late I seem to have reduced my wardrobe to sweatshirts and jeans. I miss the ever-changing colour of your hair, and the banter ensued because of it.” He chuckled and heard Remy giggle in response. “I have always admired you for having the confidence to do such a thing, to make yourself stand out like that” 

He switched to look at Damien, “Dee… what I miss most of all is your sarcasm” Damien smirked “It always made me smile when you made one of your comments while rolling your eyes. It is a sight I have come to miss dearly. Your respect is something that has to be earned, which I credit you for and something I wish to regain in the future. But the way you don’t back down and are willing to do anything for those you hold dear is one of your best traits, and I have missed having that constant reassurance.” 

“Virgil… I could go on for hours about how much I have missed having you in my life. You were there when I needed you and I threw that back in your face. I feel like something is missing when we aren’t friends. But I know that you won’t appreciate a long-winded complimentary speech, so all I can say is I'm so sorry. To all of you” he finished dropping his gaze once more. 

“I understand if this changes nothing and you don’t want to be associated with me” His breathing was shaky and he waited for their responses.

The trio exchanged confused glances, why would they want nothing to do with him? 

Damien stood up, ever the first to speak him mind, “Roman, are you that much of an idiot?” he felt a swat to his arm as Remy jumped up beside him. 

“What Damien MEANS is that you haven’t figured it out yet have you, honey?” he said a lot gentler. 

Roman looked at them questioningly. His gaze travelled to Virgil who as still sat on the floor. “what do you mean? I’ve been a dick so I'm apologising…” 

“There’s no argument there” Damien said crossing his arms and receiving another hit to his arm from Remy. 

“Princey, riddle me this…” Virgil said standing up to be face to face with Roman. “Why do you think we forced you to go out with us?” 

“What?” 

“Why did Remy take you shopping? Why did I take you to the theatre? Why did Damien take you to the gym?” 

Roman looked between them slightly uncomfortable at being interrogated. 

“I-I don’t really know…” he stuttered. 

Virgil sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder, “I hoped you would figure it out by yourself… we did it because we fucking care Roman” 

Remy nodded along. Damien was the one to notice Roman's doubtful expression “It’s the truth Roman whether you believe it or not. We care, we wanted to show you that you could come to us if you needed to, without causing a scene or freaking you out” he said giving a rare soft expression. 

Remy said nothing, just forced himself forwards and hugged Roman tightly. Roman froze but slowly returned the hug, a smile creeping onto his lips. 

“As much as you’ve missed us… we’ve missed you too” Virgil said. 

As Remy released Roman, Damien put a hand on his shoulder, “I’ve missed our arguments Roman, I’ve missed the hour-long Broadway talks. Neither of these two have the same fine tastes as we do.” he said affectionately punching him in the shoulder. 

“Gurl I’ve missed you being the only one who understands fashion! You literally were the only one that was up for dying my hair again. Also, we got starbies so that pretty much bonds us for life.” he smirked pushing his sunglasses off his eyes. 

“And Princey… I guess I missed your noise. You're always laughing, singing or talking in that stupid posh voice of yours and though it drives me crazy sometimes I lo-… I-I’ve just missed it alright.” He said crossing his arms and turning away flushed. 

“Thank you storm cloud… It means so much to hear you all say those things…” he laughed, giddy with happiness. 

“Does that mean you wanna be part of the group again?” Damien asked, a hopeful look on his face. 

Roman thought for a moment. 

**This is what you wanted. This is going to be fine. **

For the first time in months he listened to that voice. 

“I would love to… That is… If you would have me” 

“Of course, we would” Virgil smiled genuinely, enveloping Roman in a hug that sent shivers down his spine. He melted into the embrace, unable to wipe the smile off of his face. 

“I just have one question… Where the hell did you go?” Damien asked. 

“Oh… I went to meet Matthew” he said sheepishly. 

“Then why are you so…” Damien gestured to Roman “…Ok?” 

“I kinda… Um… Defensive positions came as an automatic reaction… And I may have got a bit cocky and twisted his arm?” 

Damien paused for a moment, before bursting out laughing, Roman quickly joined in with Remy giggling and Virgil smiling. 

“I don’t believe it, god I wished I could have seen you humiliate him like that” Damien chuckled. 

“Trust me it was an amazing sight” he paused for a moment thinking something over “…. Seeing as you all did so much for me, why don’t we go for ice cream after school? My treat.” 

Remy squealed and clapped his hands and Virgil punched the air. 

Damien and Roman shared a look, equally disappointed but amused by the two in front of them. 

-

In the back of Roman's mind there still was that grating voice. That was spouting lies. Pure lies. 

_You love him_


	19. Exposed brick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! I know this chapter is a bit later and a bit shorter than normal but I hope you enjoy it! Mention of toxic therapy (I suppose that's what to call it), also slightly religious based homophobia.

Roman was actually happy… truly, undeniably happy. 

He sat unable to stop smiling, as he listened to Remy and Damien argue in their affectionate way, it was so disgustingly cute that Roman kept looking over to Virgil and miming gagging. He forgot what they actually disagreed over, but trying to follow the conversation, he gathered it had now morphed into how Remy wouldn’t stop spending money on things that don’t matter. 

“And another thing! At least I don’t waste my money on stupid caffeine that I could make myself!” Damien said with a mask of anger. 

Remy gasped loudly, “How DARE you insult Starbucks, you little bitch! That’s it, I'm not talking to you!” Remy pouted an turned his back on Damien pulling out his phone. 

Roman snorted but quickly covered it up when Damien mock glared at him. He sighed and turned back to Remy, “I'm sorry I insulted Starbucks, happy?” 

Remy ignored him and scrolled through Instagram. “Hey Roman, Virgil, can you hear something?” 

They both chuckled at the childishness the two were showing. 

“Babe… come on talk to me” Damien implored. 

“You know I was thinking of talking to that pretty guy in the year above us since you know I don’t have a boyfriend” he said pointedly “What do you think Virgie?” he said teasingly, barely masking his delight. 

Damien growled and grabbed Remy’s shoulder spinning him to face him. 

“There must be a ghost I felt a hand on my-” before Remy could finish his sentence Damien had connected their lips aggressively. Remy giggled and reciprocated the kiss. 

Roman heard Virgil make a vomiting noise beside him and chuckled. 

The two parted and Remy finally met his boyfriend’s eyes. Damien spoke first “Was that a ghost sweetheart?” he grinned. 

“You're a jealous idiot you know that?” he smiled. 

“Yep, but I'm your jealous idiot” he chuckled. “Glad your talking to me again darling, but I swear if you even speak to another guy like that, I will murder him” he said turning back to his food, with a hand firmly on Remy's hip. 

“Aww you're cute” he cooed kissing his boyfriend’s cheek. 

Damien put on a face of disgust, but anyone who knew him understood he enjoyed the affection he got. 

Roman smiled at the pair as he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out and stopped abruptly when he read the screen. 

_Reminder- Dr swann, 5pm _

He felt his breathing increase. After last time, Roman had set reminders for every one of his appointments, he would do anything to not have to go through the hell he received again. He must have zoned out for a moment too long, as Virgil had said his name. 

“Roman? You good there?” he asked eyeing him nervously. Roman would have laughed at the similarity in their mindsets at that moment, if it wasn’t for his body forgetting how to breathe. 

“I-I… I have an appointment” he choked out. 

Sensing that wasn’t all Damien piped up “For what exactly?”

Roman swallowed “Therapy.” Remy’s face fell, he knew which therapist Roman saw, it broke his heart. 

Virgil looked to Remy, judging by his face the doctor wasn’t Picani, it made Roman panic and almost loose grip on his mind. “Do you want us to come with?” 

Roman raised his eyes “Oh no! You don’t have to, please don’t feel the need to-” 

Damien cut him off, already set on his evening plans “You know what Virgil, let me rephrase that for you,” he said before turning to Roman “We are coming with you, I know you want us to Roman, so stop trying to hide it” he looked to Roman as if waiting for him to genuinely decline, but no such words were said. 

-

Roman sat bouncing his leg as he waited in the darkly decorated waiting room. It greatly contrasted the light, happy room he had previous experience with. 

This one had grey walls with exposed brick that he supposed was meant to look artistic, but gave the impression of being unfinished and make him fell uneasy. 

He had a reassuring hand on his knee. Virgil's grip had been there for the duration of his wait. The younger could almost feel the nervous energy Roman was exhibiting. Damien sat on his other side, leaning against him reading whatever magazine the room provided. It was another constant pressure that helped to ground him. Remy sat on the floor leaning against his knees, scrolling through his phone. Like a stereotypical gay he hated anything chair like. He was looking at different hair colours and styles. Typical. Even though his hair had been pastel pink for less than two weeks, he already wanted to change it. 

There was equal pressure and support all around him. Roman was incredibly grateful for his renewed friendship with the three. He couldn’t begin to express how thankful he was that they all came without prompt. 

His heart pounded in his ears as a sinister voice rang out around them. 

**“Roman Prince to room 6, please” **

He felt three pairs of eyes turn to him in a silent question. He took a deep breath and stood on shaky legs. 

Virgil grabbed his wrist “Do you want us to stay?” he almost whispered. Roman hesitated, he didn’t want to inconvenience them any more than he already had. 

Damien spoke up “We don’t mind Ro, we have nowhere else to be” he offered. 

Roman breathed deeply “Please?” the three nodded. 

Remy took Roman's former seat cuddling up to his boyfriend, and Virgil squeezed his hand comfortingly. Roman smiled at him before letting go of his hand and walking towards the looming black door. 

-

The first thing anyone would notice about Dr Swann’s office, is that it was almost completely covered in crosses and religious imagery. It unsettled Roman. He knew the room well. 

“Ahh, Mr Prince” a wicked voce called out from the wooden desk. 

Dr Swann was the kind of man who thought very highly of himself. He felt he was the only one who could ‘deliver’ these troubled youths, and would so anything to ‘reform’ them. 

Roman shuffled silently towards the rickety chair positioned right in from of the desk. He found himself shrinking in on himself as he used to. 

It scared him how quickly he regressed back into his old self when he was in the therapist’s presence. 

“I see you missed your last appointment” he said not paying attention to Roman obvious increased stress “Why is that?” 

“I-I just forgot” 

“Now, now Roman, what have we discussed too many times? This is a professional environment. Therefore, how must you address me?” 

“Sir…” he said looking at his lap. He hated the manner in which these sessions were conducted. They felt like an interrogation more than anything. He had no doubt this one would be the same. 

“There we go, there must be respect if I am to help you” he said in a condescending tone “Now why did you miss your appointment last month?” 

“I forgot, sir” he answered quietly. 

“Is that so? Or is this a way of punishing your parents?”

“What?” Roman asked instantly surprised at the change of tact, Swann gave him a look “What sir?” he corrected. 

“You are angry at them for not accepting your… lifestyle” he phrased accusingly. 

“N-no I'm not angry at them” he said pleading for him to understand.

“Of course, you are” he said dismissively “You believe yourself to be… bisexual” he spat “And they, as your parents, can see that in fact this is jut a phase. And that makes you angry” he said matter of factly. 

“W-Wait that’s not true-” he was cut off abruptly making him bite hip lip. 

“You only say that because the demons have taken root in your mind” he said an evil glint in his eye “Similarly you are disobedient at home” 

“Who said-” 

“I have a report written by your parents” he waved a sheet of paper “It says here, you are jealous and violent” 

Roman was dumbfounded… _violent? _“W-What?” 

“Why are you this way?” 

“I-I'm not-” he felt the burn of tears behind his eyes. 

“Do not lie to me, I'm here to help you” he smirked “Is it because you crave attention?” 

“No I-” Roman tried but couldn’t get a word in. 

“Why then? Do you enjoy being in trouble?” he said raising his voice “Hmm?”

“N-No sir” Roman could feel tears flowing down his cheeks. 

“Then why? Why are you such a disappointment?” 

Roman let out a sob at the words. 

“Swann! What are you-…Roman?” a voice asked.


	20. Meet the parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are! With the lovable therapist himself! hope you enjoy! I have a little question at the end because i'm drawing a blank <3

Dr Emile Picani had been organising his collection of pop funk figures when he heard the clear voice of his colleague. Normally, he couldn’t hear a thing when another therapist had a client, and it made him nervous that he could hear every word. He mentally mapped out the building and concluded the voice must belong to Swann. 

He listened carefully… yep that was definitely Swann, he could hear the twinge of accent in his speech. 

Now Emile would never say that he hated anyone, everyone has their own reason for being the way they are. It wouldn’t be fair to form an opinion on someone when you don’t know what they’ve been through in their life. 

But he really, really didn’t like Swann. Other than the fact the man gave him the creeps, (the guy wore a white coat for cartoon’s sake, he looked like he belonged in a horror movie) his policies and methods were just morally wrong! His opinions were completely subjective and his way of curing someone, wasn’t to be respectful and kind like every other professional in the building, it was through manipulation and bullying.

Emile’s heart longed to help the poor kids who came out of his door. But he always saw the parents and knew whatever he said would make no difference. He didn’t understand why some parents would forcefully put their child in a situation that broke them down when they were at their most vulnerable. 

He straightened his pastel green tie and opened his door. He needed to remind Swann to talk quietly, he was a good few rooms away and could hear him. So, everyone else probably could as well. That would put patient doctor confidentiality at risk. But mostly he just wanted to check the client was ok. Being talked down to by Swann wasn’t a fun experience, he’d had enough run ins with the man to know.

He walked down the hallway, a chill running down his spine. He had always tried to make his waiting rooms as comfortable and welcoming as possible, with posters, paintings, bright colours. Even toys and books to keep people occupied. But this corridor and Swann’s waiting room always reminded him of a prison. He shuddered and walked quickly towards the black door. 

It was hard to believe that less than 50 feet away someone was trying to crush the very thing Emile encouraged most of all. 

He paused in front of the door, the voice now at its loudest. His breath caught in his throat as he heard a sob. Nope, not on his watch. 

“Swann! what are you-…Roman?” 

Emile was about to ask to talk to the therapist outside but he caught a glimpse of the boy in the seat, head bent and trying to muffle his sounds. He may not have actually met the boy, but he recognised him from pictures. His son’s pictures. 

“Roman? Is that you?” he asked cautiously. He raised his head looked in confusion at the man before him. 

Roman didn’t know this man, so how did he know him? He didn’t need this added confusion. He felt like he couldn’t breathe again. 

Picani was good at reading people, it was a trait he shared with his son’s boyfriend, so he picked up on Roman's panic easily. He rounded on Swann. “I'm taking Roman to my room” he said staring at the other man. 

“I'm sorry? I'm afraid you can’t do that Picani” he said maliciously. 

“Actually, I can, you broke doctor patient confidentiality so I am allowed to remove him from this room” he said placing a gentle hand on Roman's shoulder. 

“I didn’t break anything you fa-”

“Be careful Swann, or you’ll have more than just a breach of contract on your hands” he fixed him with a glare before encouraging Roman to stand up. “That’s it, careful steps now” he led Roman out of the room, the teen finally letting his emotions get the better of him as he sat on Picani’s plush office couch. 

Picani offered him tissues that he gratefully took.

The therapist sat beside him rubbing soothing circles on his back. 

Once Roman calmed down by himself, he managed to stutter out “Y-You didn’t have to d-do that” he said quietly. 

“No, I suppose I didn’t, but I wanted to… the way he was addressing you was hurtful and wrong of a professional” he said looking at Roman kindly behind his glasses. 

Roman took a deep breath “You know my name… but I don’t know you” 

“Oh, well I'm Emile Picani, do you how do?” he said smiling. 

“Picani… as in Remy Picani?”

“Yep! That’s my kid, we only look similar when he doesn’t have makeup on, I actually recognised you from photos he’s showed me” he said a tad sheepish. 

“Oh ok…” Roman said, thinking how much they would compare if Remy didn’t go full drag queen with his makeup every day. He took another deep breath and steadied himself “I'm good now I can go back” 

Picani shook his head “No I'm not allowing you to do that, you're not benefiting from his ‘help’” he said a flash of anger crossing his features. 

Roman nodded “How long was your session for?” Picani questioned.

“An hour…” 

“You started at 5 then, so you still have… let’s say half an hour. You are welcome to stay here as long as you want. I just need to go file something and I’ll be back” he said, Roman nodded and Picani cast a glance back at him, as he made his way to the front desk. 

-

“Hey Valerie!” he greeted as he walked to reception.

“Hi Emile, how you doing today?” she asked with a smile. 

“I'm just dandy, but can I have one of those complaint form things?”

“Woah, THE Emile Picani making a complaint? What happened?” she said worriedly while searching in the drawer next to her. 

He rubbed a hand down his face “Swann… he broke contract” he said tiredly. 

“Oh, that bastard? Yeah, I’ll give you twenty complaint forms, might fill a couple out myself” she said handing him a pink slip. 

He nodded “Thank you” he scribbled as much detail as he could giving dates, key phrases but keeping Roman's identity secret. He handed it back to Valerie and walked back to his office. 

Roman was still there thankfully, he was looking in Emile’s book shelf at all the memorabilia he had displayed there. When Emile walked back in Roman turned to him, “Do you have pearl too?” he said pointing to the amethyst and garnet funkos. 

“Oh yeah! She’s my favourite, so takes centre stage sometimes” he said pulling the pearl off his desk and presenting it to Roman. “You like Steven universe?” he asked. 

“Mhm, I really like it. Especially the songs” 

Picani hummed, paused and sat behind his desk. “The messages are pretty good too, right?” 

Roman turned to him and swallowed “I guess…” he said nervously. 

Picani raised an eyebrow and looked down at his notebook “You said you like the songs? Have you heard ‘change your mind’?” he asked. 

Roman sat on the couch but didn’t say a word. 

“Do you remember the first two lines?” Roman dropped his head. 

“_I don’t need you to respect me, I respect me… I don’t need you to love me, I love me_” he sang softly. “Self-acceptance…it’s a key theme throughout, particularly garnet’s character arc, in season 5” 

Roman nodded “I know… I liked that… how ruby and sapphire loving themselves is the way to keep garnet stable… it was… clever” he said reluctantly. 

“I don’t want to launch into a full speech about how you should love yourself Roman, because me telling you how great you are, won’t work unless you believe what I'm saying… But you have Remy, Damien and Virgil, right?” Roman nodded again. “They all love you for who you are, maybe in time it’ll rub off on you” he sighed. 

He stood up and looked at his watch “Come on, its time you went home, here’s my number if you ever need me.” he said scribbling on a piece of paper “I'm not technically supposed to give it to other therapist’s patients so let’s I’m giving it to you as you’re my sons friend.” He giggled and was happy Roman joined in too. 

-

Picani had a comforting hand on Roman's back as he led him to the waiting room. The teen had an easy smile on his face that Emile was happy about. He was hoping Roman’s parents were there, he needed to speak with them about switching his therapist, not specifically to him, just to anyone but Swann. 

As he opened the door, he was surprised but delighted to see Remy, Damien and Virgil sitting there. That was good, that meant they had accompanied him here and cared enough to wait around. There was another couple with a teenage looking son sitting as far away as possible from the trio. The son looked a lot like Roman, and the parents had the same eyes and hair of the boy with them. 

‘They must be Roman's parents’ Picani thought. His heart sunk when he saw the man stood talking to them. Dressed in white, Swann had beat him to it. 

The woman stood up at seeing Roman. “You ungrateful brat” she scoffed. Roman instantly cowered and went silent. “Do you have anything to say for yourself? Walking out on a PAID session like that?” she said, her volume growing. 

Emile registered the trio looking up at the commotion and sitting gobsmacked when they saw Roman, connecting the dots in their head. 

“Excuse me… Mrs prince? If I may” Emile started “I feel I need to speak to you about-”

“Who’s this puff ball?” the man sneered while glaring daggers at his son. 

Unphased Emile stuck out his hand, stepping in front of Roman subconsciously shielding him, “I'm Dr Emile Picani, as I was saying-” the therapist was not appreciating being cut off like this. 

“Oh, so you’re the man who interfered with my son’s treatment?” she scoffed. Swann smirked at Picani behind Roman mother. She rounded on her son “Roman how dare you go with this- this” she stuttered while running her eyes over Emile judgingly. 

“You were doing well Roman” his father began “I was starting to become proud again, and now you go and mess everything up!” he said stepping towards him, Roman whimpered and shook. 

He could see his friend’s sympathetic eyes, he hated it. He was strong, a little broken but admirable, how would they view him after seeing him so weak? Emile’s parental instincts kicked in, “Remy, Virgil, Damien. My office, now.” 

Remy tried to protest “Dad-”

“I said now Remy” he said a bit more forceful than he usually would. The three jumped up and speed walked away. “Now, please if you’ll let me explain. Dr Swann here broke a rule we take very seriously. He was announcing to the world what should be confidential involving your son. That breaks the guidelines we have in place, and I feel it would greatly benefit Roman if you consider sending him to a different therapist” he said quickly not giving the family time to interject. 

Roman's father finally spoke “And send him to who? You?” he scoffed “Yeah, like we’d send him to someone who will corrupt him further”

Now, Roman would and could put up with a lot. Anyone could do anything to him and he would deal with it. But Picani? He was kind, selfless, sweet. He couldn’t allow him to take this? He was being shielded by a man who had done no wrong. Picani didn’t deserve this. Roman would never have spoken out against his parents, but with the adrenaline from his terror, he couldn’t stop himself. 

“Corrupt?” he said shakily, even though he was essentially high on adrenaline that didn’t meant he wasn’t afraid “Father this man has helped me more in the past 30 minutes than Swann has helped me in months.” He said boldly. Against his normal judgement, he continued “I feel so much better after talking to him, and i’ve said multiple times, I don’t feel safe or comfortable around-”

He was cut off by a slap so hard it made his neck crack as it was forced to the side. Roman felt the emotion behind it, normally it was just frustration but this time… it was different. This time it was hate. He swallowed harshly as he heard the doctor gasp. He hung his head. 

“Don’t you ever talk back to me again” he said in a low voice. “You are walking home” he said motioning for the other two to follow him. Roman's mother and his brother followed silently, Mrs Prince stormed off while the other boy gave Roman a sympathetic look before hurrying to join his parents. 

Emile tried to put a hand on Roman's shoulder but it was shrugged off. “No… Don’t. I'm so sorry… I didn’t mean for… I didn’t think… Tell the others I'm sorry please” he said wiping his eyes and walking to the exit. 

Emile watched him go, too shocked to do anything. He would later curse himself for not stopping him. 

-

When Picani finally entered his office, he was met with hands encircling his waist. 

“What happed dad?” Remy said in a quiet voice as he hugged his single dad. Damien came up behind him and put a hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder. Virgil remained seated, biting his thumbnail anxiously. 

Emile shook his head. How could he tell his son that his friend was being treated like that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Now, next chapter is going to be fluff, but I just have no ideas. So what do you think Remy, Dee, Virge and Ro should do at a sleep over/slumber party? let me know id greatly appreciate it!


	21. Sleepover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry I didn't upload on Wednesday, productions have taken all my energy, but this one is a fluffy, with a hint of angst towards the end. Again, sorry for no upload but I hope you enjoy! <3

Remy tugged on Roman arm, “pleeeassseee~” he whined. 

“Remy, I said no, I don’t think this is a good idea” Roman protested.

Remy had been planning a sleepover with Virgil and Damien for a week, it was their usual Halloween get together, they occasionally watch a scary movie but mostly they talked and vented. Then on Halloween itself they all dressed up and went to Remy’s for his annual masquerade party, he was flamboyant and extra give him a break. 

Remy had extended the invite to Roman who had immediately stuttered out a ‘No’. The other two would definitely not want him intruding on their tradition, Remy had explained it all, including how the two actually started dating at one of these get togethers. Virgil would definitely take credit for that. Furthermore, this year it would take place at Virgil’s home, meaning he would have to face both Logan and Patton, after what they knew Roman didn’t want to look them in the eye. 

Remy gripped his arm, “Please RoRo… it'll be fun I promise!” he pleaded. 

Roman looked away mumbling “But what about Damien and Virgil” 

Remy stepped back, “That’s why you don’t wanna go? You're worried about them?” 

Roman nodded, he had hard time lying to Remy. 

“Sweetie, Dee’s the one who suggested you come! And Virgil was adamant it be at his place, apparently you had been before so it would be less scary” he explained with a smile on his face. Roman looked dumbfounded, they genuinely wanted him there? That was new. “I swear on my caffeine addiction they want you there” he said holding his hand up. 

Roman chuckled, “Fine” he said dejectedly, he had worn him down. 

Remy jumped a little with excitement “Yes! Ok, you remember Virgil's address” Roman nodded, how could he forget the two times he had visited the home. “Meet us at 7 tomorrow” he said jogging off to his next class. That gave him less than 30 hours to worry, not nearly enough time. 

-

Roman sat on the floor of Virgil's living room while his three friends talked on the couch. Logan and Patton were already out when he arrived, apparently having taken the opportunity to have a date night, they began by watching Beetlejuice. This peaked Roman's interest having only heard of it through the recent musical. He had been meaning to watch it and apparently it was one of the trio’s favourite (mainly Virgil's) so it was a win, win. After the movie had ended, they put in a new one, this time it being the Blair witch, it was a drastic change but they found themselves enjoying it. But, quickly paused it as the conversation flowed. So, for the next hour the TV was left alone as they discussed anything and everything. 

He felt at peace. He hadn’t slept at anyone else’s house since high school, it felt childish but comforting. 

Remy was bouncing with energy, he always adored sleepovers: there was always juicy tea to spill, there was always great food and the whole aesthetic was to stay up as late as possible. Something he excelled at naturally. Plus, it meant cuddling up with his boyfriend and he would never pass that up. 

Damien was a little less enthusiastic but still giddy. And a giddy Damien was a bold Damien. He had always loved Virgil's home. It made him feel safe, Patton and Logan had been strangely accepting of him from the first moments and their son was no different. Besides Remy and his parents, not many people found his condition anything but odd. 

Virgil was smiling at Remy’s actions, he knew his place was best for sleepovers, his large living room made it perfect for camping out. His house wasn’t huge but it was comfortable. He was a bit unnerved by it when he was first adopted all those year ago, but he'd grown to love the echoing hallways and large spaces. It made for perfect acoustics. 

“Let’s play truth or dare!” Remy squealed. 

“We are not thirteen-year-old girls Rem” Damien said as he rolled his eyes. 

“What, you scared of a little game Dee?” Virgil smirked.

“Never” 

“Then truth or dare babe?” Remy asked. 

Roman chuckled and turned to look at the three. The bond they had was incredible. He wistfully thought of situations where he could be as close as they were.

“Dare” he challenged. 

Remy smiled maliciously “You have to wear what I want for 3 hours” Damien smiled confidently, he knew Remy didn’t bring any other clothes besides a hoodie and jeans, he had got off easy. 

His face made Virgil snort. “You know he had clothes here, right?” the emo offered with a smile. Damien's face paled as he was dragged upstairs. 

Remy had been to Virgil's house enough that he left some clothes there just in case they were needed, and let’s say some where more… feminine than others. So, it didn’t surprise Virgil when Damien trudged down the stairs in a baby pink skirt and a black cropped sweater. 

Virgil and Roman immediately let out laughter, Damien’s face was one of disgust and regret. “He should have known not to ask for a dare from Remy Picani” the sunglasses clad boy said as he walked past his boyfriend “Next!” he said loudly flopping down into the couch. 

Virgil spoke up, “Remy, truth or dare?” he smirked resting a hand on his chin. 

“Truth” he said inspecting his nails. 

“Weak” Damien huffed as he sat down pouting and crossing his arms. 

“How does Dee look in that outfit?” he asked. This wasn’t a punishment for Remy as he had no shame. Virgil just wanted to tease Damien more. 

Remy grinned as he loved getting his normally stoic boyfriend flustered. He leaned over into Damien’s lap. “He looks so pretty and hot at the same time. This top” he said rubbing the material between his fingers “Means I get to see his abs that just make me swoon, and the adorable baby pink makes him look soft and cute” he said as he pecked his boyfriend lips. Damien was a suitable shade of red after the comments and only grumbled in response. 

Roman watched with second hand embarrassment, it was no secret that Damien was attractive, any girl at their school agreed, with his jock body and his styled hair, Roman just had never thought about it before. As Remy teasingly described the outfit Roman had gone pink, he wished someone described him like that. 

“Virgil's turn!” Remy clapped, the emo shook his head and turned to Roman. 

“Go on” he nodded pulling his knees up to his chest. Roman had to shake himself before he asked. 

“Truth or dare storm cloud?” he was shocked at how easily the nickname fell from him. 

Virgil deliberated “Dare” he shrugged. Roman drew a blank, what could he dare this kid? He didn’t know him well enough to choose a personal dare, but he didn’t want to seem boring. He must have been silent for too long as Damien spoke up. 

“Hey Virgil, aren’t you really flexible?” he grinned evilly, eager to get some revenge. 

Virgil rubbed the back of his neck and nodded, avoiding eye contact. Roman grinned, matching Damien’s expression, “Prove it emo nightmare”. Virgil huffed and walked upstairs. “Where are you going?” Roman called. 

“You want me to rip my jeans more than they already are? I'm getting shorts” he said climbing the stairs quicker. 

Roman tried to distract himself from anticipation by focusing on Remy’s teasing of Damien. His attention was instantly switched as he heard footsteps descending the stairs. Virgil had swapped his heavily distressed black jeans for purple loose shorts. Roman sat back intrigued, no way was he flexible. A small antisocial emo? He looked as if he barely left the house. 

Virgil stood in the middle of the room and easily fell in side splits, he smirked at Roman ’s shocked expression. He wanted to mess with him more so stood up and pulled his leg up by his face, he stared Roman straight in the eyes and raised an eyebrow. Roman’s face flushed and he looked away, he was not expecting that expression from Virgil in that position. The attitude was…something. He didn’t like it or find it hot or anything. He didn’t. 

“Have I proved it yet?” he asked not moving. 

Roman nodded and kept his eyes fixed on the floor. Virgil relaxed and sat back down on the couch. Roman couldn’t stop catching glimpses of Virgil's smiles, they set his face on fire. He didn't like this reaction. It made him scared. It made him question everything. 

Virgil saw Roman side eyeing him and had to keep from blushing. It was nerve wracking to do any of that in front of Roman, but it paid off. Virgil picked up on the pink in Roman's cheeks.

Roman cleared his throat “W-Where did you learn that?” 

Virgil shrugged “Do gymnastics for 6 years and you learn a thing or two”

An image of Virgil in a tight vest and pants, like the ones he saw on TV, popped into his head. His eyes widened as his mouth went dry. He swallowed and cleared the thought from his head, “Cool” he said quietly. 

“Roman, your turn, truth or dare?” Damien asked 

“Uh… Truth I guess?” he didn't want to do a dare considering what the past two had been. 

Damien smiled, the kid was nervous, he’d go easy on him. “What’s your type?” 

Roman cast a glance at him. “W-What do you mean?” he asked even though he knew exactly what Damien was hinting. 

“Describe your ideal person” 

“Yeah!” Remy said “Spill the tea sis” he said grinning and leaning on his hands. 

Roman felt all eyes on him, as he looked at his hands he stuttered. “Um, I-I don’t really know, I haven’t been with many people.” ** People? Why did he say that? He meant girls. **“But I suppose they’d have to be… uh” **They? What the hell, why couldn’t he bring himself to say she? **”funny, cute, maybe a little mysterious? Being head strong or witty is always admirable. Be willing to sing Disney and Broadway at any moment” he chuckled “But I guess just someone who I could rely on, someone that understands who I am and is ok with that” he finished. 

Looking up he made eye contact with Virgil and looked away blushing. He saw the cheeky grin, but also the warmth behind those eyes. “That’s cute!” Remy squealed. 

“Yeah, I actually didn’t expect that, I thought you going to say attractive, blonde etc.” Damien smirked. 

“Hey!” Roman objected sitting on his knees “I'm not that shallow! Looks aren’t the only thing that matters!” he gestured wildly as Damien chuckled. 

Virgil shook his head, “I'm done reliving high school, let’s order pizza” he said stretching and moving to grab his phone. 

The four fell into comfortable silence as they waited for the food to arrive. Well the others were comfortable, Roman? Not so much. They resumed the movie, but Roman's mind couldn’t focus. He was too preoccupied thinking about his answer to Damien’s question. Why couldn’t he get himself to say girl, or even she? It was all person or they… what the hell? It was like saying it was wrong. He did like girls, he knew that, he’d had crushes and intense feelings for girls before. 

So why couldn’t he say it… 

Remy was watching Roman discretely from the couch, he could practically hear the cogs turning in his head. Little to Roman's knowledge Remy had noticed the face he made when he said person. He noticed the way he grimaced like he was biting back words. 

He grabbed Roman's arm and pulled him to his feet “Hey Ro, I wanna show you something” he said dragging Roman upstairs and shoving him in the bathroom. 

Roman was shocked to say the least, he didn't even manage a word until Remy had released him. Remy stared at him, studying him. he squirmed under his gaze and tried not to look suspicious. 

“Um… what did you want to show me?” he asked smiling nervously. 

“What’s wrong Ro?” he said quietly. 

“Wh-”

“Don’t do that…” he pleaded “What’s wrong? Something's bothering you and I'm worried…” he said moving his sunglasses off of his face. 

Uh oh. 

Remy taking off his glasses was a major thing. It meant he was serious about something. 

“I'm fine Remy, really” he tried. 

“No. You're not. I saw the way you answered that question. I saw how you kept thinking about something when the movie was on. You haven’t sung or really laughed today either. Something’s wrong and you're going to tell me what, right now” he said. He hated doing this, backing someone into a corner, pressuring them. It wasn’t the way his dad taught him to deal with something like this. But Roman would never admit that anything was amiss. What other choice did he have? 

Roman sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I need you to promise you won’t tell anyone this, ok?” he asked quietly. 

Remy nodded, that was one thing he could do, keep secrets, he'd lost count of the amount that the other two had trusted him with over the years. 

Roman took a deep breath “I couldn’t say girls… I just couldn’t bring myself to… limit? Myself to just that… I'm just so confused Remy, then I saw Virgil and my insides felt funny. I know it sounds cliché but its true… but it can’t be… it just can’t be the truth…” he mumbled his eyes filling with tears. 

“What?” he longed to reach out and hug him, but he stayed still for fear of scaring Roman even more than he already was. “What can’t be true RoRo?”

“That I like him… That I like Virgil”


	22. Still night air

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve gotten worse at chapter titles but I’ve committed to not numbering them so here we are. This is almost entirely fluff. More gay disaster Roman, I may have focused more on the environment than I needed to… but I tagged it as slow burn and I meant it. Description of a panic attack after the ~, if you don’t wanna read, then skip to the next ~. Hope you enjoy!

Remy stood still, wide eyed. He had to fight the smile that threatened to creep onto his face. He was a shipper to the core but that wasn’t what Roman needed right now.

“Do you want it to be true?” Roman drew a blank for the second time that evening. Did he?

_No, it’s not true, think of how your parents would react. You're just doing this for attention, you see Damien and Remy and you're just jealous. Even if it was true, he wouldn’t even consider you, look at yourself, nobody would want that. You don’t want this. _

The familiar voice hissed in his ear. It had been a while, but it was still slightly comforting to have that in his head, telling him what was right and wrong.

**Are you kidding? You noticed the way you look at him, you immediately worry how he’ll view you, all you want is for him to like you. That the definition of a crush, you worry more about his perception of you than anyone else. You do want this.**

Roman shook his head, he could feel himself retreating inside his mind, “I don’t know! I just don’t know!” he grasped at his hair, tugging trying to retain some grip on reality.

Remy lay a tentative hand on his shoulder. “RoRo, what’s so bad about it maybe being true?” he asked quietly. He was begging to not have a repeat of their disagreement, neither of them could go through that again.

Roman met his eyes. He was dumbfounded. Did Remy want him to come right out and say it? He wasn’t gay. He wasn’t.

Not that there was anything wrong with that! But it’s different with Remy and Damien. It always had been. They were like any other couple, Roman didn't see them any differently. But the prospect of him having feelings towards another boy was terrifying, he had grown up being told who he was. And he had filled that mould suitably enough, but this was completely going outside the guidelines his parents set for him. This was too far. He had pushed the boundaries too much already, he couldn’t test the limits any more.

“Remy look… it’s just that… well you see…” how could be put this delicately? He didn't want to sound rude, but he needed Remy to understand.

Remy weighed the outcomes in his head. What the only reason someone would be this freaked out by the idea they may not be straight? That their homophobic. But that wasn’t Roman, he was fine with his and Damien’s relationship… wasn’t he?

“Why is it such a bad thing that you may like Virgil? Me and Damien are proof that you're not homophob-” he pushed but was cut off.

Roman stepped backwards, forcing Remy’s hand off his shoulder. It sounded strange coming from Remy’s mouth. He couldn’t conclude whether it was a good kind of weird or not. The hurt look on Remy’s face made him instantly regret his action.

“No, no wait, I'm sorry… Remy I didn't mean it like that. You gotta understand I'm just in a weird place right now.” He explained rapidly.

Remy sighed and stayed silent looking down at his feet. He didn’t know what to say, obviously his main priority should be Roman right now, but the reaction to mentioning his own partner was like a punch to the stomach.

Roman could clearly see how much the simple step had got to Remy. “Please rem, I didn't mean it like that you gotta believe-”

“Guys! Pizza’s here!” Virgil shouted from downstairs.

Remy looked back to Roman, he took a deep breath “I know RoRo, I know you didn't mean it in that way… but I can’t help if you don’t tell me what you're so scared of” with that he walked out of the bathroom and down the stairs.

Roman leaned against the wall, letting the cool tile freeze his forehead. What the hell did he just do?

-

After they all ate their food they put on more movies for the rest of the night. Remy was usually the one to initiate their conversations being the resident extrovert. But he was being strangely silent, the only sounds he made were quiet squeaks when a jump scare occurred on the TV. He stayed attached to his boyfriend, not letting go and cuddling closer by the minute.

Damien didn't seem to mind, but he was certainly suspicious of Roman now. His boyfriend was never quiet, and as much as he complained about the noise, he was concerned when he became pretty much mute.

Roman simply curled in on himself more each time he felt Damien’s eyes on him. it was his fault Remy was acting this way. He knew he'd ruin it. Remy would have been carefree at this point if he didn’t go and spill his stupid emotions.

As well as Damien, Virgil also had eyes on Roman, he saw the change in Remy when he came back downstairs, and who wouldn’t notice the significant change of volume present. Remy was loud, Virgil had come to love the shouts and screams that came with being friends with him. But now the only sound was the bad horror movie playing in front of them.

Roman had no clue what he could do. He couldn’t talk to Remy properly, not here. He didn't even have the proper words to say to him. He wanted to explain his reasons, not just for his own sake, but for Remy’s too.

~

His mind went into overdrive. He was drowning in questions, thoughts, emotions. It was all too much at once. The TV blared in his ears. Everyone’s breaths were too loud. The air was stifling, he needed to get out, now.

His breathing was becoming sporadic and untimed, he could feel his chest rising and falling rapidly but it was as if no air was entering his blood stream, he was going to suffocate.

He cleared his throat and stood up, muttering quietly “I um… I-I need to get some fr-fresh air” before speed walking out of the room.

Stumbling blindly, he found the front door and wrenched it open stepping onto the porch, the air was considerably colder and almost shocked him out of his panic. He closed the door and slid down the outside wall. He grasped at his collar, trying desperately to get enough air into his lungs.

He felt the tears pouring down his face but he didn't care. He felt as if he was going to die, to pass out, he couldn’t let that happen. He tried so many times to take a deep breath and calm his racing mind, but it seemed impossible.

He dug his fingers into his hair, eyes wide and unfocused, he kept trying to swallow but nothing in his body responded anymore.

“Princey? You out here? Roman!?” a quiet voice wormed its way past his screaming thoughts. He forced his eyes up to see Virgil kneeling in front of him.

“Roman, listen you gotta breathe. Just follow me okay?” he reached out and grabbed Roman's hand from his hair and placed it on his chest.

“Follow my breathing pattern yeah?” Virgil slowly took breaths in and out, encouraging Roman to do the same. Roman shook his head, Virgil seeing him like this just made it worse.

Virgil was running out of ideas, that normally worked for him. He wracked his mind for tricks Picani taught him on how to relax.

“Um, ok, just… list 5 things you can see. Can you do that for me?”

Roman’s eyes swivelled around them looking for anything to say “T-Tree… Car… Light… D-Door… House… You” he whispered.

Virgil smiled “Good, that’s good Princey. Now 4 things you can hear” he gripped Roman's wrist tighter.

“M-My voice… Your voice… Wind… Breathing” he said his heart rate slowed down.

“You're doing great, how about 3 things you can feel”

“The floor, the wall, your hoodie” he said grasping onto Virgil's top.

Virgil nodded, “Well done, 2 things you can smell?”

“Grass and uh... Lavender?” he asked.

Virgil chuckled “My dads planted some, said it would give the place a better atmosphere,” he pointed to a bush planted by the driveway. “Last thing, one thing you can taste”

“Pizza” Roman answered smiling.

~

Virgil huffed a laugh and lowered his eyes, still gripping tightly onto Roman's wrist.

Roman's smile faded into an expression of guilt, “Thank you… I'm sorry if I scared you” he said quietly.

Virgil said his head “No, you didn't scare me. You were having a panic attack, I couldn’t just leave you here”

Roman uncurled his hand from Virgil's hoodie, he laughed “Sorry…”

“It’s fine… Just as long as you are ok” he said letting go of Roman's wrist.

He nodded “I'm good now” and stood up shakily, Virgil immediately grabbed his forearm.

“Are you sure?” he asked worriedly.

Roman brushed him off. “I'm sure” he walked past Virgil and leaned against the fencing surrounding the porch. He stared out into the night and took a deep breath, his face was aflame, Virgil had witnessed him practically falling apart. And instead of mocking him or ignoring it, he helped him. He rebuilt him as he was crumbling. “Why did you come to find me?” he whispered. Surely Virgil would be more concerned about Remy, anyone could see he wasn’t himself.

Virgil smiled at Roman's back, he could feel his cheeks heating up, the intimate moment they just shared would forever stick in his mind, he knew that much. He answered quietly not wanting to break the moment, “I needed to know you were ok”. He slowly walked to Roman's side, joining him in looking out into the darkness. Everything was black despite the dim porch light that flickered behind them. Roman huffed lightly in disbelief, the cold air making his breath visible.

Virgil remembered when he would come out here to relax. Instead of being afraid of the dark he welcomed it, he used to make a hot cup of coffee and sit on the porch. Wrapped in a blanket and his hood drawn around his face, he used to stare up at the stars and try to count them. He remembered the warm feeling that he loved, accompanied by complete silence with only the light from the night sky surrounding him.

Virgil watched Roman's face as he became lost in thought. The moon casting pale shadows against his normally tanned skin, the warm feeling he used to crave returned to him once more. He smiled and leaned against Roman's arm. He felt the heat coming from the other through his thin jacket. He closed his eyes and rest his head against his shoulder.

Roman was pulled from his mind by a weight on his arm, he glanced down and a small smile crept to his lips. This was surprisingly nice, it was comforting…sweet. He sighed and stared back out into the darkness, his heart beating faster and faster but he didn't mind. His thoughts were quiet for once. He could get used to this.

Virgil spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. “This is nice…”

Roman's smile grew as he replied “I suppose it is kind of-” he stopped mid-sentence as he turned to look to down at Virgil. The smaller boy’s face was inches away from his own. He stared down into Virgil's eyes, any words dying in his throat. He swallowed nervously.

He was right there, looking up at him through half closed eyes. Whether that was due to tiredness was yet to be determined. Virgil's lips curled into a smirk, his eyes drifted downwards towards Roman's lips.

At the simple movement, Roman's face became a new shade of red, his stomach was doing flips and his palms had become sweaty as they gripped onto the fencing before him.

**Go for it!**

_Pull away now! _ The voices in his head were back. Fighting over his next move, he was frozen. He scanned Virgil's face, his eyes were just as entrancing as he remembered from the day they first met. He had no makeup on for once and Roman's saw subtle freckles, not just on his cheeks and nose but everywhere. His forehead, his chin, his neck. He wanted to kiss every one of them.

_What? _

Where had that thought come from?

Virgil's smile grew as he noticed the change in Roman's stance, he was nervous. Feeling accomplished he stepped away.

“Come on, I'm sure the other two are wondering where we are.” he stepped further towards the house.

Roman jolted, “Virgil I… um”

“Join us whenever you feel ready Princey” Roman could have sworn his voice was lower than normal. He nodded dumbly in response.

As Virgil walked backwards towards the door, he threw Roman a subtle wink before retreating back inside.

Roman watched the door close holding his breath, before slumping back against the fencing. He held a hand to his face, it was burning hot, he knew he was as red as his jacket. That just happened…

Virgil Carson was flirting with him? At least that’s what he <strike>hoped</strike> thought.

This couldn’t be real… he had just admitted to Remy about maybe liking Virgil and now this happens? Remy wouldn’t have said anything, he promised. So…was this off Virgil's own accord? Did he truly feel the way he portrayed? Or was this a game of some kind?

Roman had no answers but he knew one thing.

He wanted that to happen again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confident flirty Virgil? Nervous panicked Roman? the roles have been reversed and I can’t go back from this side of Virge. 
> 
> Also, as a side note, if any of you emo’s like Panic! At the disco, or just want some refreshing, angsty Roceit. Maybe consider checking out my recent one shot? You don’t have to of course but if you like song fics then maybe you’ll enjoy it <3 thanks for reading!


	23. Parental intervention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Hope you're having a good day! In this chapter we finally got the reappearance of logicality! The two dads are back at it again! Hope you all enjoy it! 
> 
> Also, I know I do a lot of these but IMPORTANT NOTICE AT THE END!! Please read because I’ve hit a wall and need your help?

Roman entered the house a few minutes later, having gotten his blushing under control. He attempted to seem nonchalant as possible, but he couldn’t help the slight smile that was present on his face. Could you blame him after what just occurred? 

Remy looked up at him quizzically, Roman smiled back trying to convey his apologies. His eyes shifted to Damien who was giving him an evil smirk. Obviously, Damien caught on, he probably had figured out every little detail by now, you couldn’t lie to him, he picked up on the tiniest signs and even Roman's acting ability couldn’t stop him seeing straight through his façades. 

Virgil didn’t make eye contact, he sat there and stared at the TV screen. No reaction, except for a slight smirk crossing his features for a brief second then disappearing. Bastard. He knew what he was doing and it was driving Roman insane. The tiny quirk of his lips, the lips that not ten minutes ago were centimetres from his own, sent his insides doing somersaults. 

Roman went to retake his seat on the floor before Damien spoke up “Why don’t you sit on the couch Roman, I'm sure there’s room next to Virgil.” He smiled innocently.

Roman coughed “Um…no, no its fine. There’s no room anyway” he chuckled. 

“We’ll sit on the floor” Remy said. All three turned to him, it was the first thing he had said in ages. Maybe he knew more than he let on. 

Damien nodded “Of course, it’s only fair” he said in a sinister tone. 

“I’ll go grab blankets! Make yourself comfortable!” Remy giggled as he practically sprinted out the room, intentionally knocking Roman onto the couch. 

He yelped as he was forced backwards, but he didn't land on the soft couch. He quickly scrambled as he became aware that he was half on top of Virgil. 

He chuckled nervously as he moved as far away from the emo as possible. He felt so stupid being so awkward around him, he wasn’t going to bite for Odin’s sake! He forced himself to relax as Remy returned armed with enough pillows and blankets for an army and snuggled up to his boyfriend on the makeshift bed. 

He could do this. He was Roman Prince. It’s not scary, it was fine. Everything was fine. 

-

One by one the three dropped off. Surprisingly the first was Remy. Admittedly, it was 1 am, Roman just expected him to not sleep and run on coffee for the next 24 hours. 

There was a dip in noise after that. No one wanting to wake him up. Damien was next, he dropped off entangled with his boyfriend, them both sprawled on a mountain of pillows and blankets. If Roman wasn’t so goddamn nervous about being left with Virgil, he would have even called it cute. 

The two watched movies for another half hour, occasionally commenting on the plot or to crack a joke. It was comfortable, casual, quiet, and Roman was thankful for that. 

He would not be able to deal with another awkward encounter. 

Virgil was last, he may have still been awake when he shifted to lean against Roman's shoulder. But no one could prove that. 

Roman stopped. The same feeling that enveloped him on the porch was back. His stomach began its gymnastics and his face flushed again. He took a shaky breath but couldn’t help the smile that appeared. 

After a few minutes He lay his head on top of Virgil's subconsciously as he flicked through the channels, he finally found something Disney and all of a sudden became aware of their position. He pushed the thought from his mind and his eyes stayed glued to the screen until the movie finished. All the while Virgil had been cuddling up to him in his sleep. It was nice, warm, all he could smell was Virgil's apple shampoo as the purple strands tickled his face.

Was that a bit creepy? 

Roman didn't care, he decided apple was his new favourite scent. 

As the credits scrolled down the screen Roman was aware of how stiff his body had become. He slowly and delicately lay Virgil down across the couch and picked a spare blanket off the floor. Draping it over the others sleeping form he grabbed the pizza boxes and dishes and headed to the kitchen to clean up. 

He glanced at the clock as he walked past. 2:21 am. Roman whistled quietly as he washed the dirty plates. His mind clouding over into blissful nothingness. He had always had trouble falling asleep. It wasn’t that he was nervous or excited. He just wasn’t ever tired. He didn't need to sleep, not right now at least. 

He took in the messy counters and made a list in his head. It would keep him busy for a while at least. Roman became completely lost in the tasks he set out for himself. 

It was an hour or so into Roman's cleaning attempts when he heard giggles from outside and the lock in the door turning. 

His heart jumped as he frantically tried to find a weapon to defend himself and the others with. He grabbed the first thing he found in the drawer. A spatula. Slowly and tentatively he rounded the corner to the hallway leading to the front door. 

“Lolo can you believe it?!” a high-pitched voice asked opening the door. 

“Yes, I can, but you need to be quiet” a deeper and more calculating voice replied. 

He breathed a sigh of relief as he recognised the signature tones of Patton and Logan almost collapsing against the wall. 

As Patton walked in, he nearly jumped into his husband’s arms in fright. He squeaked as his eyes landed on Roman in the hallway. 

He laughed nervously “Hey Roman, I didn't expect to see you there, kiddo” he said as he moved to take off his shoes and coat. 

Logan spoke in a quieter voice “Good morning Roman, we didn't expect you to be awake.” He smiled but his face turned to one of confusion as he spotted the tool in Roman's hand. “Don’t you think a knife would have been a better weapon? I doubt you can do much damage with a spatula” he chuckled taking off his coat. 

Roman briefly noted that the item looked a lot like the coat Benedict Cumberbatch wore as Sherlock Holmes. He pushed himself off of the wall smiling sheepishly and returned to the kitchen to continue his tasks. 

Patton came in behind him, laying a hand on his shoulder “You cleaned the dishes?” he asked surveying the spotless kitchen. 

Roman nodded “Among other things.” 

Patton squeezed his shoulder “You didn't have to do that kiddo, thank you. Usually we’re nagging Virgil to clean up after himself” he giggled. 

“Of course, Mr. Patton. I couldn’t leave you to clean up our mess” he smiled at the man over his shoulder. 

Patton yawned, “I’ll see you in the morning kiddo, don’t stay up too late. You need your sleep, and thanks again for cleaning!” he smiled as he walked away. 

Logan entered the kitchen after bidding his husband goodnight. “Roman?” His tone had become serious.

The teen bit his lip, Logan was the one he was afraid to talk to. He gave a hum of acknowledgement not looking up from the sink. 

“May I speak with you?” 

“I… uh…” Roman said quietly. 

“Please?” Logan asked gently. 

Roman swallowed and nodded, drying his hands and facing the older man. 

Logan gave him a reassuring smile, “We can go into my study where we can converse properly” he said beginning to walk away. 

Roman followed him nervously, toying with the cuffs on his jacket, his mind racing. He should be used to constant rush of thoughts by now, but it scared him every time. 

Logan opened a door and motioned Roman to enter. Following him inside the professor left the door open, a silent symbol that Roman could leave at any moment if he wanted to. 

Logan cleared his throat, “Please, sit down” he gestured to the office chair in front of him. Roman took the seat and bowed his head, curling in on himself. 

The adult leaned against the desk next to the chair and sighed. “I want to talk to you about the last time you were here.” he began. Roman tensed, preparing for the inevitable. “As well as what I witnessed as I dropped you at your home.” He said slowly. 

Roman grimaced, he should have known this was coming. It was a mistake coming back. He should have avoided this house until the day he died.

Logan continued, folding his hands in his lap. “I'm not going to make assumptions or accusations. But what I saw concerned me, I'm not going to lie to you about that. I said it that day and I’ll say it again, Patton and I are always there for you if you need us.”

He took a deep breath “I understand you have Virgil, Remy and Damien to talk to. But for larger matters there is little they can do except support you. And I'm not discouraging you from talking to them, in fact I'm encouraging it.” Roman raised his head to look at Logan “However, its important to speak with an adult if something serious if happening. You understand that, don’t you?” 

Roman nodded, Logan gave him a pause to let him speak. “I know what you're getting at” Roman spoke quietly. “But nothing like that is happening, I swear. They were just looking out for me. I haven’t been the greatest son recently so they were already on edge-” He explained. 

Logan stopped him. “Don’t say that. No matter what you have done in the past, there is a limit to what is deemed a suitable punishment. No matter how bad you believe yourself to have screwed up, they are your parents at the end of the day. And they should behave accordingly.” 

He gave a look to Roman, questioning him. It was him giving Roman the opportunity to say if his suspicions were correct. 

When no reply came, he let out another sigh. “I just want and need you to understand that I am there as a professional and a friend. As is Patton. Do not hesitate to contact either one of us if you need to.” 

Roman nodded, he was grateful for their concern. He knew that he had someone there who he could genuinely talk to know he wouldn’t be judged. He smiled. He didn't have to say any words. Logan understood everything. “You should get some sleep, it is nearing…” he looked at his watch, eyes widening when he realised the time “Four in the morning. Goodnight Roman” he said as he stood up. He placed a hand on Roman's shoulder as he passed. 

The teen made his way back to the living room after that. His emotions were going haywire. He felt like laughing and crying at the same time. 

His eyes settled on Virgil's sleeping form. There was another thing to worry about. Virgil and his…_interesting_ relationship. 

He grabbed another spare blanket off of the floor and settled himself upright on the couch near Virgil's head, trying to give the other as much room as he needed, wrapping the fluffy cloth around himself he rested his head on his hand and closed his eyes. 

Almost instantly the exhaustion consumed him. 

-

At some point during the night, Virgil moved so he was snuggled against Roman. And Damien would wholeheartedly deny the fact he took pictures in the morning for blackmail purposes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeyyy guys… so I write these chapters normally a week or so in advance so I have backups if I don’t have the next written before deadlines… but I kinda ran out? I’ve been rehearsing, performing and studying like non-stop for a good two weeks and it means I’ve had no time to write.
> 
> So… I have a weird question? Either you guys wait until next Sunday for an update or I could do a little Q+A on Wednesday? Its could be questions for the characters, myself or about the fic in general. If you have any questions put them in the comments! (Just make sure its clear who the questions for) And if I get enough to make an update out of, I will do it!


	24. Rebuilding bridges

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry this is the only update this week, I’ve been incredibly busy with rehearsals and I'm sorry if its not up to the usual standard. 
> 
> As a un challenge I want to know if anyone spots the tiny Beetlejuice musical reference, I accidently put in there XD hope you all enjoy <3

The morning after had shocked Roman. Thankfully, despite getting the least amount of sleep, he woke up first. A weight in his lap caused his eyes to flutter open around 8 am. 

During the night, he had laid back against the armrest, one foot on the floor and the other on the couch. Virgil had followed him down and crawled up to lay on top of Roman, snuggling into his chest. 

His breath caught in his throat, he tried to shift from under the emo, but any movement made the sleeping boy curl tighter around his middle. 

It was like a cat had fallen asleep on him, there was an unspoken rule, don’t move for fear you may disturb them. Roman couldn’t bring himself to wake Virgil up, but his heart was gaining speed and he felt like it was about to explode. It was a cute sight, the sleeping emo nightmare clinging to him. He wouldn’t deny he found it adorable, but it was not the predicament he expected to be in when he woke up.

Roman’s hand moved cautiously to run through Virgil's hair, it was soft and the purple strands looked unusual curled around his fingers. But it was calming and he could have sworn Virgil let out a contented sigh. 

Damien had woken up groggily and he smirked at the pair. He sat back and simply watched as Roman snatched his hand away as he noticed the other and stared at him like a deer in headlights, he didn't need to say anything. Roman's flushed face, and pleading eyes said it all.

Damien whipped his phone out and snapped a few pictures for his ever-growing blackmail folder. After a few silent chuckles he decided to take pity on the older boy, he had suffered enough for one morning, he grabbed a pillow and unceremoniously threw it at Virgil's head. 

The sleeping form jolted and sprang up grumbling, he looked around blearily for the source of his abuse. He grasped at the pillow and threw it back with a quiet “Fuck you”. His eyes then landed on Roman, more specifically his red face and averted gaze. He looked down to discover he was lying on top of the boy. 

Not ideal. But he could work with this. 

He smirked and moved to the other end of the couch, “Sorry Princey, but you make a good bed”. As Roman raised his eyes, Virgil subtly winked at him. That tiny action painted Roman's face a new shade of crimson. 

-

After he had escaped so to say, and was alone, Roman happily reminisced while staring at the ceiling in his room. How he longed to sit near Virgil. How he wanted to cuddle him, talk to him, kiss him…

He was less bothered by the thoughts now. He hadn’t heard the grating voice that used to crush him in days. 

A goofy smile seemed permanently etched onto his features. He scrolled through his phone looking at pictures they had taken. As he noticed more and more elements of what made up Virgil Carson, he felt something inside him grow. The way he smiled to the left, how he spoke out of the right side of his mouth, the glint in his eyes when he was happy or planning something, his nervous habits- nail biting, twirling his hair around his finger, drumming beats on the table- Roman noticed it all. 

He began seeing things in his everyday life that reminded him of Virgil. The purple sweater in the store window he passed on his way to school, ravens that he spotted on top of houses, black cats that wandered the streets. He even began to take daily walks through his local park just to smell the lavender that grew there. 

He was falling head over heels for this boy. He could feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge with every giggle, every snarky comeback, every flick of his hair. 

He would be in utter heaven if there wasn’t the tiny, minuscule problem that Virgil was a boy. 

Roman lived in constant fear that his parents would find out. Every awkward conversation over dinner was somehow twisted to the fact that Roman hadn’t found a girlfriend yet. They poked fun at his breakup with Amber. They even slid into the conversation the topic of his first boyfriend that was followed with stony silence. How he longed to gush about Virgil, he wanted advice, comfort, anything but mockery. That was how normal families worked right? If Roman was crushing on a girl, they would love to hear everything about her. He just wanted them to act that way if he ever mentioned his feelings for the storm cloud he held so dearly.

But it seemed like that was too much to hope for. He did notice Remus giving him odd looks at every opportunity. Roman couldn’t put his finger on it. It wasn’t a face he had seen on his brother before. It certainly wasn’t his usual superior evil smirk, but it bordered on soft and kind. 

He saw it pop up more and more when his parents made fun of him, or berated him for his actions. 

It was interesting that for the first time in years Remus began to take his side in debates or arguments. Not outright stating he agreed but offering a different point of view than their parents.

One night, a week after Roman began noticing his twin’s odd behaviour, his father had circled back to Roman's choice in subjects, more specifically theatre. It was endless, the insults cut him to the core. He had bowed his head and was close to tears when he felt his brother grab his hand under the table and speak up. 

“I actually think it’s kinda cool, how confident he is when performs. I could never do that” he shrugged but tightened his grip on Roman's hand as his parents launched into praise about their eldest. Not understanding the true meaning behind his words. Meeting Remus’ eyes, Roman saw compassion, support, almost love. Roman was less afraid of him now, he had more respect and kindness in his heart for his brother that he had despised.

It was strange, he didn't have to ask but his brother somehow always knew when to say something. Call it twin telepathy but it was as if he could read Roman's thoughts. The two also began to hang out together. This was new but not unwelcome, they played video games, watched movies, Remus even helped Roman with any homework or projects. He helped him rehearse for performances at school and slowly became more and more like a brother to him. 

He began to feel less alone in his house. 

-

Things at school were almost perfect, he spent every day with Virgil, Damien and Remy so was never short of comfort or laughter. And thanks to Remus’ help, he was catching up with his work and getting good grades. His teachers had noticed and told him to keep up the good work. 

But it was during lunch one day when Virgil asked something Roman was not prepared for. It was just the two of them as Damien had football practice and Remy decided to tag along. 

“When are you going to let me stay at your place?” he asked randomly. 

Roman nearly choked on his food he was that surprised, “W-What do you mean?” he stuttered after regaining his composure. 

“Well you’ve been to my house multiple times now, I want to see your room, your house, I want to meet this brother you keep talking about. But mostly I want to make fun of you for how big your Disney collection is” 

Roman chuckled “Who’s to say I have one?” 

Virgil rolled his eyes “Come on, if I name any Disney movie you can recite the lines and sing any song from it. Of course, you have a Disney collection” 

“Fair enough, I cannot deny the fact I am obsessed with the masterpiece that is Walt Disney studios” he said grandly, trying to avoid the question for as long as possible.

“Nerd” he laughed, Roman smiled proudly at being able to elicit that beautiful sound “But seriously, would you be okay with having me over, not necessarily like a sleepover, just hanging out. But if you don’t want to that’s perfectly fine” he said with a smile. 

Roman shook his head “No, no! I would love to have you over! It’s just my parents are…strict” he hesitated. The reluctance in Roman's words didn't go unnoticed by the other and for some reason it set him on edge. 

“That’s rough Princey, but just let me know, I’d love to come over” he compromised a little sadly.

Roman nodded silently and changed the subject quickly. Trying to forget about the sick feeling in his stomach. He wanted Virgil to come over, he wanted to watch Disney movies, show him the little things that made him feel relaxed. 

But he knew for a fact that bringing home a purple haired boy with pierced ears and painted nails would be cause for concern. He just had to wait for the opportune time. 

-

And he didn't have to wait long.

A few weeks later his parents decided to go away for a weekend, saying they deserved a break from all of their stress. They explained how Remus was in charge and what Roman was supposed to do. 

“Don’t touch the TV, you’ll break it. Don’t try to cook anything, you’ll end up making a mess and burning the house down. But clean up after your brother, it’s the least you could do for him babysitting you” 

Remus gave him an amused look after they were sent to bed like toddlers.

“Don’t worry, you don’t have to clean anything, with the shit you have to deal with you deserve a break. Let me take care of everything little brother, you just enjoy being free for a while” he said patting Roman's shoulder and walking away.

Roman practically sprinted to his room and texted Virgil. 

** _Prince Charming- would you want to hang out at my house this weekend? _ **

Almost instantly a reply came. Trust Virgil to be constantly on his phone. 

** _Storm cloud- Sounds like fun Princey. Text me your address and we’ll go from there _ **

Roman bit his lip, smiling as he confirmed the plans. He couldn’t wait. A whole weekend with Virgil! This was going to be perfect.


	25. Fireworks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry this is a day late. Rehearsals have been kicking my butt and i'm so tired from dancing. All. The. Bloody. Time. This is a big chapter, so have fun! Very fluffy. A little innuendo and Remus being a biatch but other wise pretty ok. I hope you enjoy! id love to hear your thoughts in the comments <3

Roman barely registered his pacing, his constant back and forth that was wearing a hole in the carpet. His fingernails were a bitten mess, his normally styled locks had been pulled and twirled too much to resemble anything but a bush. Remus sat upside down on the couch playing some sort of violent video game, the only sounds present in the room were his furious button mashing and Roman's steady footsteps. Their parents had left the night before, (without so much as a smile, as usual) but despite their absence, Roman was still worried.

Remus huffed in annoyance as his avatar died again. With practised precision he flipped himself to lean back against the couch cushions, now the right way up. He watched in silence as his brother took thoughtful steps. Too wrapped up in his own mind to notice any of the outside world at the moment. 

After less than a minute he grumbled and jumped up, grabbing Roman by the shoulders, stopping him in his tracks abruptly. 

“You're going to drive me insane with your worrying!” he teased.

-

Remus would never admit to any kind of change in the last month or so. He was the same old bastard. The same cruel… twisted rat man he was.

He promised.

For years he had watched as his brother, his baby brother, the boy he had sworn to protect when they were just kids, be punished and crushed. And… he didn't give a damn. He had always been out for himself. Not caring about anyone or anything.

But seeing the change in Roman as they grew up… it bothered him. It drove him crazy how differently the identical twins were treated. Remus was showered in gifts and praise, he was put on a pedestal, given anything he asked for. Whereas Roman, he was taunted, berated, punished, starved, hated. It began to sicken him. 

Remus was a mess. He knew that. He had royally fucked up his life and come out lucky. He got kicked out of school and got a job at the only place that would hire someone like him. He tried to make the best of his mistakes. If he succeeded at that, he'd never know. He didn't want that for Roman. 

For so long, he watched from the side lines as Roman was hurt. He watched as lifelong scars were made. He even, as much he detested it, helped. He made things infinitely worse for the already downtrodden teen. The look in Roman's eyes as Remus laughed in his cruel way, would forever be indented in his brain. 

He didn't deserve forgiveness. He didn't expect Roman to look past everything he had done. 

But he loved his brother, he needed him to know that at least…

-

“You're already insane Re” Roman smiled, playfully shoving his brother. 

“Perhaps” Remus shrugged “But worrying isn’t going to make him come faster” he snorted and winked suggestively, the smirk tweaking his moustache. 

Roman's eyes went wide as he realised the innuendo, he hit his brother lightly in the arm “Remus that’s disgusting!” he complained. 

“Like you’ve never fantasised about it” 

“I haven’t!” Roman shouted, a little to defensive. 

Remus hummed in fake agreement “Sure~” he said. 

Roman's eyes locked with the door as the high-pitched ringing of the doorbell echoed in his skull. A smile broke out across his features and he began bouncing on his toes in excitement. 

Remus slid in front of him and meticulously restyled his hair and twitched Roman's leather jacket so it hung at a more flattering angle. He stood back after less than a minute and grinned “Go get him” 

Roman chuckled and walked quickly to the door. “Just don’t embarrass me?” he pleaded.

Remus held a hand to his chest in mock offense, “Me?!” I wouldn’t dream of such a thing!” 

The other laughed and sucked in a breath, turning the lock with nerves clawing at his brain.

-

Virgil was stood facing the wrong way, looking out into the neighbourhood. He wore a dark purple beanie, some band t-shirt Roman had never heard of, a white and black plaid shirt and black skinny jeans. They were way tighter than anything Roman's had seen the emo wear, they really showed off his-

**Eyes up Roman! **

He scolded himself and forced an unaffected smile, dragging his eyes to Virgil's face, now turned towards him and smirking (to the left as Roman always noticed). Virgil thanked Remy in his head for helping him choose an outfit this morning.

“Hey Princey” he saluted in his usual manner. 

Roman's grin widened, he really did like that nickname, “Hello Virgil, would you like to come inside?” he asked politely, stepping out of the way. Virgil walked past him and immediacy into the living room. Roman didn't have time to warn him. 

He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw another boy, sitting upside down on the couch, controller in hand, staring intensely at the screen. The other’s eyes flicked to him for a moment before doing a double take and looking Virgil up and down (or was it down and up?), seemingly confused. He pulled his focus away and back to the game. 

Roman joined him after a second, a little worried as to what Remus was going to do. He rolled his eyes seeing his brother and coughed.

“Yeeesss~?” he drawled a mischievous smile appearing. 

“Could you stop being rude for one second and say hello?”

The other boy sighed and flopped off of the couch and sprung up with lighting fast speed. “You're Virgil? I'm Roman's better half, Remus” 

Roman jumped in, placing a hand on Virgil's shoulder “He’s my twin” 

“Yep, older by 7 minutes” he said proudly before looking at Virgil strangely. “You're a lot more… edgy than I expected” he said bluntly. 

Roman face palmed but Virgil just raised a curious brow “What DID you expect?” he inquired. 

“Oh, I don’t know… I just didn't expect Roman's type to be creatures of darkness” he shrugged jumping back onto the couch and flipping through Netflix. 

Virgil burst out laughing “Remus!” Roman shouted. Going bright red, he turned to Virgil, “Let’s go upstairs” he said walking away. 

Remus and Virgil made eye contact. The twin gave him a knowing smile and Virgil nodded 

-

“I'm so sorry about him” Roman said the moment they entered his room.

Virgil didn't respond, he was taken back by their surroundings. And not in a good way. 

It was so… normal? It was as if no one actually lived there. The walls were just cream, plain oak drawers and a large wooden wardrobe. Where were the mirrors, the posters, the things that would make it… Roman?

“Virgil?” Roman asked following his gaze. What was wrong with his room? It wasn’t flashy or selfish. It wasn’t weirdly decorated. It was plain, that was a good thing, it meant nothing to criticize right?

Virgil shook his head “Yeah, sorry. I just expected something more… you?” he said facing Roman. 

Roman “This… is me” 

“No. It’s not. You are more like… red, flashy, ornate, gold, theatrical. You know?” he listed. 

Roman shook his head. “Sorry, not really… Sorry it wasn’t what you expected to see”

“Why are you sorry?” Virgil was now concerned. Roman saying that plain and boring accurately represents him, Virgil knew Roman, he knew who he was. And now he was apologising to the ends of the earth? This wasn’t like him; this wasn’t like him at all. Where was the cute, blushy, theatre nerd he <strike>loved</strike> knew?

Roman just shrugged and shuffled his feet nervously. 

Virgil sighed and walked towards him carefully. He gently held Roman's face and forced him to meet his eyes. “Are you ok?” he asked quietly. 

Roman could feel Virgil's breath against his face, he blushed uncontrollably and cleared his throat steeping back “Yeah! Why wouldn’t I be?”

Virgil looked at him sadly. Talking would do him no good. He walked to Roman's bed and sat down staring up at him. “So, do you have a Disney collection? Or better yet, a musical one?” he asked teasingly. 

Roman visibly lit up “Yes! Do you want to see?” he asked hopefully, he couldn’t help gushing about the things he loved. Virgil nodded, Roman squealed happily and rushed to his wardrobe, pulling out an old shoe box filled to the brim with memorabilia. He happily sat on his knees at Virgil's feet, opening it dramatically. “Ta-da!” he sang grinning. 

Roman launched into his show and tell at full speed. First were all of his playbills and programmes, they ranged from murder mystery shows with no songs, high school productions even one from Broadway. 

“My grandma took me to see Hamilton. I was so excited!” he remembered. 

He showed Virgil props from his shows, top hats, tiaras, flowers, masks, a fake cigarette from his production of Grease. 

He finally pulled out a crown, handling it with obvious care he explained. “I went to see into the woods. It was only a local theatre but it was so good Virge! The boy who was Cinderella’s prince was incredible, I went to find him after the show and we had such a long conversation. I told him all about my love of the theatre, how I wished I could play his part and guess what? He said since it was closing night, I could have his crown for when I land the role! It meant so much to me” he practically giggled with joy cradling the crown. 

It was the first time he had been encouraged to peruse theatre, he hadn’t got a crown requiring role yet but he was still hopeful!

The boy became his role model, he wanted to be just like him. Still did. 

“That’s amazing Ro” Virgil said quietly. He stared at Roman in awe. To think how much passion he kept bottled up. He was already incredibly extra, but hearing him talk about one show like that made Virgil think how much more he would be if he didn't restrain himself. He liked this Roman, the unfiltered, driven prince. 

Virgil bit his lip. “May I?” he asked pointing to the crown. Roman hesitated, this crown was the thing that kept him going. He'd lose his mind if anything were to happen to it. But it was Virgil, he trusted that boy wholeheartedly. He slowly nodded offering the crown to him. 

Virgil smiled, delighted Roman allowed him to even touch it, and carefully moved the crown around to take in the jewels studded into the sides. He carefully placed the crown on his head and met Roman's eyes. “How do I look?” he said smiling.

Roman's brain must have short circuited, he gave Virgil the crown next moment he was wearing it and talking. To see Virgil wearing the prop Roman never dared to put on his own head would have annoyed him. If Virgil didn't look so amazing in it. 

The purple locks against the pristine white fluff. 

The one item that was the source of Roman's ambition sitting on Virgil's head, made him feel funny. Like he wanted to scream and cry, laugh and collapse all at the same time. He just ended up nodding dumbly. 

Roman shook himself, clearing his throat “I-I mean... I um, you uh... y-you look ho- uh good. Great even” he stuttered. 

He looked down, face a red mess no doubt. He heard a raspy “Roman” from above him. He raised his head to be face to face with Virgil. 

His breath got stuck. Everything was too warm, he swallowed feeling how dry his throat had become. He subconsciously licked his lips and Virgil's eyes locked onto the action. His brown eyes flicking back to Roman's green ones. 

Their faces barely inches apart Virgil was leaning right over him. His fingertips ghosted across Roman's cheek and his breath hitched. Making Virgil smirk darkly. “Is this too much Princey?” he asked genuinely. 

Roman blinked “Storm cloud I-” 

“Tell me to stop if you want” he interrupted. Roman paused but shook his head slowly, wanting every moment to last forever. 

Virgil smiled and held Roman's cheek, his other hand moving to mirror it. 

His eyes flicked down to Roman's lips again “Can I kiss you?” he asked in the quietest voice he could muster. 

“…Please” Roman whispered. 

Virgil gave one final smile before he closed the distance between them. 

It was like fireworks had gone off. Roman sighed happily and grabbed Virgil's wrists. The smaller boy pulled him up onto his knees so he wasn’t leaning forward so much. 

This was heaven. 

Virgil had finally gotten to kiss Roman. The thing he had wanted to do for months. He could feel the grooves in Roman's lips from where he bit them constantly. But it was utter bliss, he wouldn’t have this any other way. 

Roman had never felt more at peace, more safe, secure. To have Virgil's hands cradling his face like it was the most precious thing in the world, made him smile even more into the kiss. The taste of vanilla and dark chocolate must be some of his dad’s baking. The realisation of what he was doing never hit him. He was too caught up in the feeling of warmth and dare he say love to allow that thought any room in his already exploding brain. 

The usual fear and cautiousness should have been present. 

It should have been there.


	26. Climax

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, hope you like this very... eventful... chapter. Comments are kudos are greatly appreciated. And -TRIGGER WARNINGS- homophobic language, bit of talk about murder (its just remus being remus) and abuse. So proceed with caution- anyway hope you like it <3

The two parted after what seemed like eternity. Roman peeled his eyes open to gaze into Virgil's chocolate brown irises. He was still so close to him; he could smell the apple shampoo. 

Virgil was the first to find his voice, “Woah” he smiled. Roman chuckled and leaned his forehead against the other, moving his hands so they lay on Virgil's knees. 

“Woah indeed” Roman replied too blissed to form original sentences. Virgil looped his arms around Roman's neck. They both were so utterly happy in that moment. As if they were floating on cloud nine. Roman breathed deeply, swallowing, his brain began to slowly come back online. “That was... Amazing storm cloud” 

Now it was Virgil's turn to blush, “We only kissed, Princey” he said closing his eyes. 

“That we did” Roman sighed happily. He ever expected kissing a boy to be so… nice. No, incredible. All his nerves were on fire, shooting dopamine around his body, giving him a pleasant buzz and bringing an unavoidable smile to his lips. Sure, he had kissed girls before, they were gentle and sweet, but Virgil was all that and more. This was special, different, addicting. 

Roman finally got to his feet, towering above Virgil he plucked the crown from his head.

“Hey!” the emo shouted, folding his arms and pouting. 

“I'm sorry, Virgie, as good as you look in that crown it has to go away” he said gathering everything up and delicately placing it back in his wardrobe. 

Roman joined Virgil on the bed. They were right next to each other but it felt like they were on the opposite sides of the room. Cautiously Roman caressed Virgil's knuckles, who immediately linked their fingers and leaned against the older teens shoulder. 

“Hey Ro…” he said quietly. 

Roman hummed in acknowledgment. “Are we going to talk about… you know… us?” he asked nervously biting his nail. 

Roman turned to face him and pulled the hand from his mouth. “I believe we have to, I’d… rather not pretend this never happened” he smiled. 

Virgil chuckled “Me neither… look” he took a breath “I rea-”

“ROMAN! I MADE SPAGHETTI!” a booming voice shouted from the kitchen. 

Roman closed his eyes. “Excuse me one moment” he said to Virgil before standing up walking into the hallway and closing the door behind him. “GODDAMNIT REMUS!” he screamed back. “I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING” 

“Well excuse me Mr high and mighty! But if you don’t want cold pasta you better get you and your boyfriend’s asses down here now!” he said followed by a loud laugh. 

“Remus, I swear to all things holy I will kill you with my katana!”

“Not before I kill you with my Morningstar!” he sang. 

Opening the door Roman glared at a giggling Virgil before grabbing his hand and pulling him to his feet “Come on… that medieval hunk of junk hurts like hell when he hits you” 

-

The two sat, fingers locked together as they ate pasta. Surprisingly Remus wasn’t a terrible cook and spaghetti was probably healthier than take out. 

Remus sat on the floor, seemingly averse to sitting on anything that remotely resembled a chair, watching some murder investigation on TV. Roman was honestly a little worried for his brother’s sanity at this point but he didn't say anything. Simply tried to block out the graphic details of the show. 

Virgil on the other hand was just as interested in the show as Remus. It was spooky how much they enjoyed this stuff. 

“Come on! It’s obviously the wife!” Remus shouted out of nowhere, nearly flinging the food off of his lap. 

“Remus please, this is not a sitcom.” Roman said annoyedly. 

“He’s right though” Virgil said “All the clues point to her, I don’t know how the police aren’t getting it” he shrugged shovelling another forkful of pasta into his mouth. 

Remus turned around, a delighted Cheshire grin on his face “I know right! She had the motive, means and there was DNA found on him!” he squealed finally having someone to discuss this with. 

“I'm surrounded by psychopaths” Roman groaned “I can’t believe you are discussing a man’s murder while we eat” 

Remus and Virgil gave him identical evil smirks and he lost it “That’s it, nope, nope you are both going to conspire to kill me, I’ll be upstairs” he stood and quickly walked up the stairs. 

“That’s the worst place to go, you’ll be cornered!” Remus sang after him, the response came in an annoyed shout. 

Remus and Virgil shared a look and burst out laughing “That. Was hilarious” Virgil chuckled, finishing his food. 

Remus just nodded smiling genuinely at this small edgy teen. He didn't understand why Roman was smitten with him, but at least he had a sense of humour and wasn’t as mushy as his twin. 

“Do you always do your best to creep him out?” Virgil asked. 

Remus smirked maliciously. “I’ll let you into a little secret” Virgil sat forward, intrigued “This is actually a recording. I’ve watched it at least 10 times, he never pays attention enough to notice, but it’s the best way to annoy him.” 

Virgil stared at him with a look akin to respect. He nodded and stood up “Thanks for the food Remus, it was delicious” Remus waved before turning back to the TV and switching over to his PlayStation. 

-

“Princey?” Virgil knocked on his door.

“If you have a knife you are not coming in” 

“I don’t have a knife” he rolled his eyes “Even if I did, you couldn’t stop me” he said lowly opening the door suddenly. 

Roman genuinely squeaked. He jumped about ten feet into the air and fucking squeaked. Virgil immediately burst into laughter and walked towards him like he was a scared animal. “Everything’s okay, I promise” he smiled. Roman crossed his arms and glared at him. The emo just shook his head and rose onto his tip toes to kiss him on the cheek. “Better?” Roman blushed and looked away nodding. 

“Your brother is pretty cool” Virgil said sitting on the bed. Roman joined him sighing.

“He’s okay, when he wants to be. He’s gotten a lot better though” he smiled shallowly at the thought of Remus defending him, the way he promised to all those years ago. 

Virgil looked at him lovingly, he was glad Roman has at least someone he got along with at home. But Remus was a lot different than when he saw him at the therapist’s office. What had he been like before? “So… I heard you mention you have a katana? That’s a sword, right?” he asked. 

Roman looked at him weirdly “It is not just a sword, Jack Smellington. It is a Japanese weapon of war, it is a sleek single edge blade that was used by the mighty samurai of feudal japan.” He said grandly, waving his arms like he would in a show. He kneeled down and reached under his bed, producing a long and intricately decorated sleeve that Virgil assumed was the sword he spoke so highly of.

Roman bit his lip in excitement, his katana was something that he cherished and looked after. He polished it whenever he got the chance, he loved seeing his reflection in the steely blade, and regularly practiced in his room. He did look foolish brandishing a sword around but he knew enough from online videos. At least that’s what he thought. He had yet to get hurt, so that was a plus. 

He unsheathed the sword and held it out for Virgil to see. He raised his chin in satisfaction when Virgil didn’t do anything but look on in awe. He felt incredibly proud and regal in that moment. 

Unable to resist the urge he struck multiple poses or battle stances as he would call them. Virgil watched him smiling. 

He looked exactly like a prince. A cheeky noble prince. It made him blush. 

Roman swung the sword around, brandishing it surprisingly gracefully, mainly showing off at this point. He didn't know what it was, but something about Virgil made him feel like he was special. Like he was something amazing. 

He finished his little display with a small amount of sweat glistening on his brow and the katana pointed at Virgil. The emo smirked darkly and pushed the weapon easily aside, standing up. Roman propped the blade up against the bed chuckling. 

“Sorry about that. I suppose I got carried away” he said sheepishly. 

“Don’t worry” the smaller teen said quietly hooking his arms around Roman's neck. “I could have watched the show all day” he said lowly looking up at Roman with a flirtatious glint in his eye.

Roman placed his hands gently on Virgil's hips subconsciously. He grinned down “Are you sure? Isn’t there something else you’d rather do than watch me?” he said teasingly some of his confidence restored.

Virgil acted thinking for a second “Now that you mention it, there is something I’d rather be doing” he said moving closer but stopping just short of Roman's lips. Allowing the other to close the distance between them, which he did happily.

Humming into the kiss one hand came up to cup the back of Virgil's neck while the other rested on his lower back. Neither of them knew who deepened the kiss first but after a few minutes they had to come up for air, each of them with a red dusted face and dark eyes.

Roman licked his lips “I could kiss you all day, Virgil Carson” he said sweetly. 

“Sap” Virgil rolled his eyes but answered with a quick peck to his lips.

“Uh… Roman!” Remus’ shout came from downstairs. 

“Ugh can you talk to him… I can’t deal with any of his bullshit right now” Roman said quietly still holding onto Virgil tightly. 

Virgil smiled “What is it Remus?” he called

An echoing voice shouted back. “Who the fuck is that?!” 

Roman's heart dropped to his stomach. “You have to get out” he said quickly grabbing Virgil’s shoulders. “You have to go, now” 

“Roman what’s wrong?”

“Why are they back so soon?” Roman muttered as he rushed around his room panicking. 

“Who? Roman's what’s going on!” Virgil demanded. Roman shook his head, there was no time to explain. He grabbed the others hand and dragged him down the hallway to another set of stairs. He flew down them tugging at Virgil to make him go faster. Both of their hearts were racing a mile a minute, Roman knew they didn't have much time. Not before…**HE** found them. 

They jumped the last few stairs and Roman yanked open the glass back door practically shoving Virgil outside. “I'm so so sorry” he said nearly in tears “If you call an uber I’ll pay you back. Please forgive me” he begged as he went to close the door, leaving Virgil in the darkness. 

That was when a strong hand grabbed his upper arm, wrenching him backwards so fast he swore he got whiplash. He was faced with the thunderous face of his father. “What the fuck are you doing brat?” he asked menacingly. 

“I… I um… Uh” Roman stuttered. 

“uh...uh...uh” his father mimicked “I asked you a question” he said as he hit Roman over the head with his fist. 

“I-I was just closing the d-door…” he managed to say while recovering from the blow. 

“Oh, well who’s was the voice we heard?” his mother said from behind the looming tower. 

“N-No one!” There was the damn stutter.

His father glared at him before shoving him to the ground and pulling back the door. Roman hoped Virgil had left when he told him to, but he wasn’t sure, all he could see was black as he looked out through the glass. But as it was forced aside there he stood, terrified and bewildered. His parents stopped dead when they saw the boy. His face still red and lips slightly swollen, painted nails, dyed hair. It wasn’t very hard to conclude what had happened. 

“RUN! Virgil run!” he shouted from the ground, desperately pleading with his…<strike> boyfriend?</strike> friend? They never got to have that conversation. 

And they never would, judging by the murderous look in his father’s eyes as Virgil retreated into the night. 

The thought of what he must have seen didn't enter Roman's head as he was deafened by the oncoming shouting.

“You…FUCKING WASTE OF OXYGEN!” he screamed grabbing fistfuls of Roman's hair, forcing him up the stairs. “YOUR GOING TO WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN AFTER THIS FAG.” He roared. 

Remus’ attempts to shout after him, to fulfill his promise, were met with gentle words of comfort from their mother. 

Sounds of pain and blows were heard throughout the night.


	27. Bandages

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok! Here we are! This chapter was... fun to write XD I know its a little shorter but exams are killing me at the moment! <3 Graphic depictions of injuries and abuse so proceeded with caution!!

Everything hurt. That was the first thought Roman had as he woke up. He barely registered the fact that he was lying on the hard, wooden floor of his room, face down. He could smell metal, or more specifically; iron. His floor was now most likely permanently stained red. He thought grimly.

Roman winced as he finally got to an upright position, using his stiff limbs to lift him up.

He lifted his shirt to see various colored bruises adorning his ribs and stomach. Some were sickly yellow, others an angry red, some purple or black. They were incredibly sore to the touch and he could feel his once white shirt sticking to his back.

His back… God that was ruined beyond repair. It felt like it was on fire, every touch from his shirt set it ablaze again. It had already been plastered with thin scratch like marks that would seemingly never fade, but now he could feel the gashes and the tears in his skin. It wasn’t perfect before (much like the rest of him, nothing was perfect about him) but now it was a red, crisscrossed slab of meat that was likely to get infected.

He remembered pretty much collapsing after he made it back to his room cradling his chest and trying to ignore the drip of liquid down his face and back. He remembered his knees giving out making him plummet to the ground. The complete defeat as he gave up and tried to sleep on the floor. His back too painful to sleep comfortably. This was the worst it had ever been; it had never hurt this much. His father must have been angry.

His face was a bruised mess, as well as taking a classic belt beating, his face had taken a great deal of blows. Punches, slaps, kicks, they all worked together to paint his face a nice shade of red and purple. He would have laughed at having both his and Virgil's signature colours on his face, if it didn't hurt to move.

He jumped as his phone rang, causing another wave of pain to crash upon him.

Reaching blindly for his phone his arm trembled as if it was under immense strain. He saw the caller ID and groaned. 

Virgil.

He'd surely hate him by now. He’d ruined everything, now he had no chance, he may as well forget about the kisses the two shared… all that would be ruined. After what he saw, who’d want to associate with the kid with dangerous parents? 

No. Not dangerous. Just… passionate? Well meaning? Yeah. 

The phone cut out before he could answer, he was struggling to move more than an inch a minute. The answer machine recited its usual message and beep.

It was followed by a broken voice. 

_Uh… Hey Princey… I-I just wanted to see how you were. I'm… really worried about you… I'm sorry I didn't do more last night and I-… Just… Just call me back when you get this… Bye_

His heart dropped as guilt flooded his emotions. Of course, Virgil would blame himself. God this was all his fault! He gripped his hair, ignoring the ache of his side.

If he had fought back for once. Showed Virgil he wasn’t the coward he now knew. Then maybe they would have had a shot. 

Better yet, if he hadn’t been so needy and desperate to resort kissing a boy then he'd be ok. If he hadn’t become so infatuated with the emo, none of this would have ever happened. 

The doubtful thoughts were slowly creeping back in, slowly but surely, he was falling back into his old mindset. The stings in his back and sides were a constant reminder of why he was in pain.

He was wrong. What they did was wrong. This was his punishment.

A soft knock brought him out of his brain. Roman raced to make himself presentable, what if it was his father come back for more? Or his mother here to mock him? They would just see his vulnerability as weakness.

“C-Come in” he stuttered trying to wipe the dried liquids off of his face. Wincing every time that he grazed a cut or bruise. 

“RoRo…? It’s me, brother…” Remus said quietly, slowly opening the door. He stopped dead when he saw the trembling ball on the cold floor. Roman clearly didn’t make it to bed, his clothes crumpled and stained, his hair sticking at odd angles thanks to the blood in it. He looked like he'd been locked up for years.

Remus felt the urge to vomit. This was the worse he had ever seen Roman. He'd seen Roman hurt before but never like this, it looked like he'd been beaten within an inch of his life. 

-

Remus had tried to call out, to do something, anything to help his twin. But he had felt warm arms envelop him and a comforting hand run through his hair as their mother attempted eased his worries. 

But Remus was having none of it. He needed to help Roman. He had seen the fire in their father’s eyes. It was like hell itself. The burning hatred as he forced his brother up into his room. It was terrifying. Like something out of a horror movie. 

Remus had to be physically restrained by his mother as he writhed and shoved in attempts to get free to try and help Roman. Well, that was met with more slaps and hits that Remus had never experienced before. It was like a thunderstorm of blows that seemingly would never end. It was painful, but nothing compared to what Roman had visibly gone through. 

While the prince slept from utter exhaustion and blood loss, the duke couldn’t shut his eyes for fear he'd never see his twin again. 

-

Roman smiled weakly “Hey Remus…” he said huskily before being assaulted by a coughing fit. He doubled over and held his chest, next thing he knew Remus was by his side, rubbing his shoulder, being incredibly careful to avoid the inevitable scars. 

“That’s it... Breathe Roman…” he encouraged. He took his brother’s face in his hands as he stopped coughing and stared at the bruises and injuries the other had obtained. Doing a quick assessment in his head, he spoke softly “Come on… We need to get you cleaned up” he said offering a hand to help his brother stand up. 

Roman looked at the door warily, “What about…” he trailed off, too afraid of being hurt again. 

“Them? Oh, they left about an hour ago, said they had business and slammed the door in my face. Bastards” he spat. 

Roman took the hand and wobbled precariously on his weakened legs. Remus hooked and arm around him and practically carried him to the bathroom. Gently set him on the toilet he riffled through the cabinets looking for the med kit. 

“You know you shouldn’t say that” Roman said quietly rubbing his arm. 

“Shouldn’t say what?” Remus asked confused “Bingo!” he shouted pulling the med kit from behind some cleaning supplies. 

“Re, seriously you shouldn’t call our parents… bastards. It not respectful” he said imploringly. 

Remus nearly dropped the green box in shock “Really? After everything they’ve done to us? To you? Look at what they’ve done to you Roman!” he said giving him a mirror to see his face.

Roman traced the cuts with his fingertips, silent and thoughtful “Th-They were just trying to help…”

“HELP?! Goddamn it Roman” he said crouching down to Roman's level, the younger’s eyes followed him nervously “Now is not the time for Stockholm syndrome! These… people have hurt you for years… I know I was one of them but they have beat you, crushed you and abused you beyond comprehension! You need to understand that” he said placing a tentative hand on Roman's knee. 

Roman swallowed… was Remus, right? 

“Just… Turn around ok? I need to disinfect your cuts and bandage them.” 

Roman did as instructed, removing his shirt and allowing Remus to dress his wounds. He didn’t wince when the deeper cuts were disinfected. He didn't jolt when the gauze was placed over the still bleeding ones. Or when the bandages were tightly wrapped around practically his entire chest. It was scary how emotionally detached he was. 

Remus finally wiped his forehead and moved onto Roman's face. His eyes were glassy and unfocused. The elder bit his lip and cleaned the cuts, trying to push the worried thoughts away for now. He had bigger things to care about. Like making sure his brother didn't end up in the hospital with gangrene or something. 

Finally pulling back Remus stared into Roman's eyes, pleading for his twin to see him. 

But Roman's mind was a mosh pit. Conflicting thoughts flew around his head like airplanes. What if his parents **had** abused him? It would explain a lot. But he had always thought they were trying to help him. But he wasn’t happy, he was miserable all the time. Surely parents were supposed to support you and care about you? Roman parents didn't do either…

Remus pulled his brother against his chest, and was taken back by how quickly Roman melted into the touch. Falling limply against the other, Roman began to cry. 

He hadn’t cried during his punishment, he didn't cry through all the pain. But he cried when his brother showed him the smallest amount of kindness. It was pathetic. He was pathetic. 

“Don’t worry RoRo, everything will work out, you’ll see. I won’t let them hurt you ever again” Remus whispered, already hatching a plan in his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd just like to quickly thank everyone for supporting this fic, it truly means so much to me! This fic is nearing its conclusion so I hope you are ready! <3


	28. Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Hope you have fun with this! We are getting closer and closer to the end and i'm getting sad! This is a little shorter than normal but I hope you enjoy it regardless! <3

Virgil was familiar with his fight or flight instinct. He was well acquainted with both options. (Remy had, multiple times, scared him so frickin bad that he resorted to punching the teen straight in the face). But this time, his body understood the command it received and took off at lighting speed. 

When Virgil had heard the fear and desperation in Roman's voice, something clicked in his brain. Although he wouldn’t fully understand until later, things began to slowly become clearer. That tone coming from someone who, admittedly could rival himself for anxiety, but was also passionate, charming, kind and chivalrous. Simply scared him. 

He would kick himself later that evening for not staying, for simply running like a coward.

But run he did. His feet hitting the pavement with rhythmic timing, coupled with his need to get as far away from that house as possible, made him run significantly faster than normal. It must have been concerning, to see a small, emo boy booking it to who knows were, with tears and terror his eyes. 

When he had ran for at least a mile, Virgil stopped. He had to basically collapse against the wall behind him as his heart thudded violently and his body tried to rid itself of the lactic acid that built up. He could barely feel any of his limbs and his head was swimming. He felt like he was going to pass out. 

Fumbling around in his pocket he pulled out his phone and ordered an uber. He had picked up on Roman's words despite his incredible confusion and concern as he was shoved out of the door. 

As Virgil waited for his ride his mind flashed images of what he had witnessed. The brutality as Roman was thrown to the floor like a rag doll. 

The force behind the hit to Roman's head, the way everyone responded to the blow gave him the impression that it was a regular occurrence. Judging the force, Virgil was surprised Roman didn't have a permanent concussion. 

Then the glare. The horror and anger in the man’s eyes as he pulled back the glass and took in Virgil's quivering form. If looks could kill, both Roman and Virgil would have been dead a long time ago. 

How could Roman deal with that? If his suspicions were correct, then Roman would be dealing with that on a regular basis. How was he able to be the same flamboyant, optimistic person he was around Virgil with that at home? 

The phone call. The therapist’s office. Everything clicked into place. It was why Roman lashed out at the trio, it was why he was so determined to stay with Matthew, why he was so reluctant to talk to Virgil. 

He dragged a hand down his face trying to gain his composure. His limbs had slowly regained feeling and were trembling from the cold. He reached up and was shocked when his hand met his hair. His beanie. He left it. God could he mess up any more? He'd never see that again. Roman's parents would think something happened between them. Then they would hurt Roman more. It would be all his fault. 

He was blinded by the headlights pulling up beside him. His uber, thank god. Now he could get as far away from those people as he could. 

-

Emotionally exhausted and defeated Virgil walked onto his porch. It was pitch black even though it was only 8 pm, the shadows from the plants and streetlights seemed to reach out for him. He knocked slowly, too drained to try and make himself be heard. The living room lights were on thankfully and his dad answered the door with a peppy smile, that quickly faded when he saw his son. 

“Virge? What are you doing here? We did expect you home until tomorrow” he asked tilting his head like a puppy. 

His father appeared next to him and gave Virgil the same look. Ever observant, he saw the tear marks and red eyes, the distraught and still scared look behind those brown eyes. The stepped forward and grasped his son’s shoulder. “Come in Virgil” he said softly. 

Patton looked on in worry, Logan's tone becoming comforting always meant he had picked up on something big. Considering it was his dark, strange son he was even more concerned. 

Logan guided Virgil through the house and sat him down carefully on the couch. Kneeling in front of him he spoke. 

“Tell me everything.” The way he said it left no room for argument. Patton sat at Virgil's side and played with his hair, knowing it relaxed the emo. Although Virgil clearly hesitated, he started to shakily talk.

“Everything was going well… his brother cooked us pasta and he showed me his musical memorabilia, even told me why a certain crown meant so much to him. It was… nice” he said, Virgil knew he could tell him parents anything. But gushing about how much fun they had, wasn’t what they wanted to hear. He took a breath and continued. “Then… Then his parents came home. I think they were on a business trip or something because both of them didn’t expect it. 

The second they set foot in the house Roman dragged me downstairs and tried to get me to leave as quick as he could, he was constantly apologising but there was a sort of terror in his eyes, you know? He pushed me through the back door and told me he was sorry again. 

Then… his dad I’m assuming, grabbed his arm tight and started to shout. He was smiling and taunting him. He hit him over the head so hard I felt it, he threw him to the ground. I could tell it wasn’t the first time either… His mum must have said something because he opened the back door and saw me.” Virgil put his head in his hands “The look on his face was hell. He just stared at me, like he wanted to kill me. He probably would have if Roman didn’t shout at me to run. I booked it as far as I could and called an uber… I should have done more… I should have helped him…” he finished, fresh tears finding their way down his cheeks.

The silence that followed was deafening. Both adults were shocked, Patton had tears of his own soundlessly tracing his face.

“My god” Logan said quietly. “Virgil, I need you to understand that you did nothing wrong. Neither did Roman. You both were put in a situation that should not have existed in the first place. You have done more than enough by supporting him through all of it, even if you didn’t realise it. You have been there for him, and it’s all you can do at this stage.” 

“He’s right kiddo, even though Roman is going through… a lot, you can’t blame yourself, I know you wanted to do more, but you did the right thing. You got out of the situation like Roman said to. He knows more than any of us do so, he was probably looking out for you” Patton said lifting his son’s head and drying his tears. Virgil nodded and Logan took the seat on Virgil's other side, putting his arm around his shoulders comfortingly. Virgil moved closer to Logan, almost curling into him. 

Patton smiled, “How about we watch something fun and discuss this more in the morning?”

“Yes. That would be the best course of action, there is little we can do at this moment.” Logan offered. 

Virgil hummed in understanding but spoke tentatively after a pause. “Is he going to be ok?” he sounded like the small, shy boy they adopted, not the caring, confident person he now was. 

The parents made eye contact, and gave a sad look. Logan was the one to speak first.

“We don’t know…” 

Patton joined in “But we’ll do whatever we can to help, we promise” 

The three settled into silence as a random show played. All of them had the same thing on their mind. Or shall we say, the same person. 

-

“To think… Roman of all people… Is being abused.” Logan said. 

Virgil had fallen asleep a while ago, Logan had carried him to his room like he did when he was young. They made sure he was comfortable and crept downstairs to have a proper adult conversation about this. 

“Don’t say that Lo” 

“Patton let’s face it, it’s what is happening here. Virgil's experience, what I saw, and do you remember what Picani told us?” 

Patton nodded “I’m kinda glad Roman wasn’t his patient, or else he wouldn’t have been able to tell us anything” he said. After a moment of deliberation, he spoke again, softer this time “What do we do Logan?” 

His husband leaned against the kitchen counter “I don’t know love, but one thing is for sure, we can’t do nothing. We have to get him here, we need hard evidence if we are going to do anything legally. But Roman will need convincing. Due to his behaviour I have deduced that he has most likely developed a mindset of denial. I do not believe he sees what’s being done to him as wrong…” he said sadly. 

“Oh no… that poor boy” Patton said tearfully. Logan gathered him into a hug, slowly rocking back and forth, not only soothing his husband but himself as well. 

“Everything will be ok, my heart. We will help him, I swear” he said determined.


	29. Dark wishes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! So... this chapter. Well in my opinion, its rushed, boring and makes no sense. But it's the best my brain will come up with, so I sorry in advance <3
> 
> (Also, talk of death in this and depressive thoughts)

Roman was pulled out of bed by a rough hand grasping his shirt. His forehead collided with the corner of his bedside table, sending fiery pain through his skull and making him see stars. He landed haphazardly on his hands and knees, recovering from the blow. 

“Wake up, you lazy faggot” a gruff voice rang out, worsening his impending headache. 

Roman made a low whine in response, refusing to look up and meet his eyes. The man huffed and kicked Roman in the gut, making him fall onto his back in utter fatigue. 

The teen had gotten barely three hours of sleep, the lashes had carried on through the dawn, slashing Roman's already injured skin. He felt as if it was more about his father taking out his anger than any sort of punishment at this point. The damaged part of his mind was happy in a way. At least he was now being useful. He finally had a purpose, to allow his parents expel their frustration in any way they chose. That was his use, it was why he was alive.

The figure gave sadistic chuckle before connecting his boot with Roman's stomach sending him sprawling on his back. He heard he figure retreat but kept his eyes closed in a submissive manner, clutching his head. He didn't know how long he stayed in that position, waiting for another round or for his body to shut down. 

Quick, quiet footsteps scurried into his room locking the door behind them. His father must be back finally. He was startled to feel a gentle hand resting on his shoulder and a soothing voice calling to him but Roman couldn’t hear them properly, he felt like he was under water. 

“…oman? RoRo come on… you ok?” 

Ok? 

If he was being honest, he didn’t even know what ok was at the moment. Was it the joy he felt when kissing Virgil? Was it the terror and dread of being around his parents? Was it a constant state of pain? He didn't understand what ok was. He strongly felt something at all times. He was never at peace… that begged the question… Would he ever be ok? 

He recognised his brothers voice as the gentle whisper above him. Remus pried his hands away from his face and let out a shocked gasp. 

Somehow his face had gotten worse, the bruises were now on almost all of his face, as well as a nice fresh gash on his forehead. The noticed the bandages and gauzes had been ripped off the night before. No doubt their fathers doing, probably wanted the cuts to get infected or something. Then they would turn green and Roman would end up in-

‘No. No time for intrusive thoughts. Focus Remus’ he told himself. 

Roman stared into the soft green eyes of his twin with his identical tear-filled ones. Cradling Roman's face tenderly, Remus whispered soothingly. Or… as soothing as Remus could get. 

“You look like shit” 

Roman huffed at his brother’s bluntness. “I'm fine Re, what day is it?” he asked clutching his head and using Remus' forearm to help him sit up. His mind had lost track of time, his first kiss with Virgil could have been and hour or month ago for all he knew.

“Monday” he answered. So, it had been two days since Virgil… good.

Roman froze “…What time is it?” 

“Uh… Around 8:30? Why?” he said suspiciously.

Roman cursed “I’ve got to get to school” he muttered, using his limited strength to scramble up. His ribs felt like they were on fire and his back screeched in pain. He winced, hard. But carried on trying to get to his feet. He could feel his brother’s hands and hear him trying to guide him back to the floor but it went in one ear and out the other. He needed to see Virgil. To apologise. Sure, he would probably lose the three friends he had, who’d want to be seen anywhere near the freak who was just a waste of oxygen? But he needed to see them. 

He could feel his body deteriorating. Like it would shut down any day. The ever-growing collection of injuries probably didn't help either. He could say goodbye to Remus easily as he lived in the same house but he wanted to see them. Speak to them before he…

Before he…

A sharp pain in his head made him let out a yelp. He clutched the place that rammed the table and hissed when it stung painfully. This time, he let Remus guide him to his bed, sitting him down and taking up the space next to him. 

“No school for you Mr. You can barely walk” Remus said putting his arm around Roman's shoulders, careful to avoid his back. He knew what lay beneath the fabric, and he didn't want to aggravate it further. 

Roman snuggled into his side. “B-But I need to s-see them” he muttered. 

“Who’s them, little prince?” he said soothingly. In truth Remus didn't feel like a twin at that moment, he felt like he was comforting his baby brother, not his seven-minute younger brother. The way Roman was leaned against him, completely open and trusting, was a sight Remus hadn't seen in years. Roman was always too afraid to let his guard down around Remus. He was so happy they broke down those walls. 

“Remy, Damien… and Virgil” 

Remus smiled. Virgil, that was his name. Nice boy… definitely good for Roman, he could tell from only one night spent with him, he was the force that would drive Roman forward more than he ever could. Roman continued to speak. 

“What if I don’t see them before… b-before…” Remus could hear the strain and emotion in his brother’s voice. 

Remus was now becoming protective “Before… what Roman?” 

Roman sniffed and buried his head into Remus' hoodie. “Before I… you know… go” 

“Roman Adwin Prince if you are talking about what I think you are talking about I'm about to go full big brother on you.” Remus threatened. 

Roman flinched and whimpered. Only his parents used his full name. It never ended well. Maybe Remus had realised he was just as pathetic as he used to be. Maybe he was going to join in on the ‘fun’ again. 

Remus sighed in sympathy “I'm sorry… I didn't mean to scare you… but you can’t think like that…” 

“It’s true though… I'm never getting out of this house… they will never let me leave… they might as well finish the job now and let me di-” 

“No. don’t you finish that word. It will never happen. I won’t let it. You will see them again, you have to stay positive” Remus said

Roman nodded and, with Remus cradling him against his side, drifted off to sleep, slightly calmer than before. 

-

Virgil searched frantically for him. When Roman didn't meet him at the gates like usual he tried the theatre, he couldn’t say he was surprised Roman didn't want to meet him not after Saturday night, but Roman's wasn’t on stage or in the science lab or in the courtyard or canteen or art room, hell he wasn’t on the goddamn campus at all!

Then Virgil started to get worried. 

Roman barely missed a day, the guy came in with something resembling the bubonic plague, just so he could keep his attendance high. 

So why was Roman not there? He couldn't be dead… right? Oh god he was dead, wasn’t he? He'd never be able to kiss him again, hear him sing again, see him act or rant about whatever was on his mind. 

Virgil spent the entire day sending texts and trying to call Roman's phone. No answer every time. 

At around 7 pm, after a silent dinner with his dads, Virgil finally got a reply. 

_Its Remus, Roman's been sleeping all day, I’ve only just managed to guess his password, sorry_

To say that Virgil let out the biggest sigh of relief would be a huge understatement. He was okay.

Roman was okay. 

He walked home, a little more relaxed than before. He trusted Remus, he believed him when he said he was ok. Maybe it was a mistake to do so? But Virgil needed that glimmer of hope, that small spark that told him that Roman was truly fine. 

If he didn't have that… then what did he have?


	30. Escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a doozy~ There is blood, graphic depictions of injuries, intrusive thoughts and abuse. So please be careful. I hope you enjoy this one! I had a really fun time writing it <3

Cuddling close to Remus wasn’t as unpleasant as Roman would have thought. He was surprisingly soft and made an excellent pillow, but it was the small gestures that made Roman feel more relaxed. Remus ran his fingers through his hair to calm him and whispered to when he was having nightmares that seemed to have become more frequent.

Remus looked like he hadn't slept in days, his real bags could rival Virgil's fake ones. His brother probably hadn't, he no longer had any regard for his own safety in the household. He spoke out against their parents and he actively tried to protect Roman. Though the aftermath was never as bad as his own, Remus now had a scar above his left eye, made by their father’s belt. Remus was now just as much of a stranger to his family as his brother. 

The older twin had always kept their medical supplies a secret, they were hidden so they couldn’t be taken away or used against them. It included different types of rubbing alcohol as well as needles and thread for stitches, though they both hoped it would never have to be used. 

The older boy was still the favourite, their parents were still lax when it came to letting him go out and drive his car. So, Remus had made several trips to the store to stock up on medical supplies, as well as food, since it seemed their parents had stopped bothering to feed either of them. Everything had become a blur, days passing in flashes, as Roman felt his body grow weaker and weaker. There was only so much Remus could do to help him, his pay was low and they couldn’t use the oven or microwave because **they** would notice. That left them with small amounts of junk food and pre-packaged sandwiches. It didn't do a lot for them in terms of nutrition or calorie intake 

But Remus still had his job, which meant he had to leave Roman for at least 6 hours a day. His injuries were still too severe to go to school, and with more being inflicted each day it seemed as if he would never be able to leave the house again. Neither of the adults were employed, they lived off of government help and half of their son’s pay check. That meant while Remus was away, Roman was left to cower in fear at the thought that one of them might try to hurt him while his brother wasn’t there. He couldn’t bring himself to do anything, he either listened to music or drowned in his thoughts. <strike>Some</strike> Most of his thoughts were with a certain emo that he hadn't seen in almost 2 weeks. 

-

Similarly, Virgil become secluded. His anxiety had skyrocketed to the point of having an attack pretty much every day. Therapy, his parents, his friends couldn’t help him, nothing could calm the raging storm of his worries. He barely took his hood down and only spoke to someone if addressed directly. 

Everyone around him had become concerned. Remy's usual pep and bounce was nowhere in sight, Damien's sarcasm and witty comebacks were gone. The three sat in silence at lunch, no smiles, no laughter. It was like something was missing. They all knew what or rather who it was, but they were to afraid to directly address the elephant in the room. 

“Kiddo?” 

His dad’s voice was quiet and apprehensive, Patton felt like he hadn't spoken to his son in years. He only ever saw him at meals and even then, he was bent over his food and distant. Neither of the couple blamed him, after what happened to Roman, and the lack of control they had in the situation, they expected their son to be affected. But they didn't want him to revert back into the person he used to be. 

They both could feel it, their son slipping away. 

Patton's eyes were teary as he repeated his words when Virgil just sat there, biting his nail and staring into space. 

“Kiddo? Please, talk to us” he begged as he sat next to his husband grasping his hand like a lifeline. He was watching as Virgil didn't even see them. 

Logan took over talking as he heard Patton's vice quiver. “Virgil, I implore you to speak to us” 

Virgil looked up then. He had a deer in headlights look about him, staring in fear and confusion. He shook himself visibly “S-Sorry… about all of this… I know I’ve been… distant. It’s just Roman's freaking me out. He hasn’t been in school for nearly two weeks…” Virgil hesitated before speaking again “I just keep thinking what if he’s dead? What if I'm never going to see him again? What if it’s already too late to do anything? Wha-”

“Stop right there” Logan said putting a hand up to interrupt his son’s rambling “Replay what you have just said, ‘what if’. If you carry on to think that way then you are going to spiral again. We don’t want that to happen to you” he said tenderly. 

Virgil nodded “I don’t either… but I can’t help thinking about all the horrible things that could have happened to him” he muttered pulling his knees up to his chest. 

“We’ve gotta think positive though kiddo. Because… if Roman's in a bad way… then us giving up hope isn’t going to help him.” 

Virgil didn't answer, he knew that his dad was right. But not thinking of the worst possible scenario wasn’t his forte. He obsessed over the details, he internally freaked out over things he cared about. He guessed Roman was now one of those things, they had only just confessed their feelings for each other-

But did they? Did they really? Was a kiss a confession? Or was it simply fooling around to Roman. Virgil knew how he felt, he had since the day they had met. But what about the prince… did he really like him. Or was it some kind game? 

No. Roman wasn’t like that. The teen knew he wasn’t. The adoration and joy in his eyes when they had finally parted was as clear as day. Roman felt the same way. Virgil could feel it whenever they spoke. Whenever they looked at each other.

Virgil excused himself and got up, guilt tore at him for leaving his parents without an answer, but he couldn’t handle their eyes on him. He needed space. 

So, lying on his bed, headphones blasting some musical Roman had recommended… Be more chill was it? Virgil cried. Silently he simply let the thoughts consume him. 

-

One night… things had taken a turn for the worse. 

The eldest had been forced into his room by their drunken mother, not without a hard kick to his gut, as their also drunk father kicked Roman's door down. 

They had both been in the younger’s room recovering from the day, Remus had been checking Roman's wounds for signs of infection. It was a daily occurrence and it shouldn’t have been any different to the many other times they had done it. 

But the source of Roman's pain decided it was a good night to spend close to 60 dollars on booze and drink it all in the space of 2 hours. 

They both had burst into Roman's room in a fit of anger, dragged Remus out and barricaded him in his own room, rendering Roman helpless. Then proceeded to undo all of the work Remus had done to the other’s back. 

Remus had screamed abuse and profanities through the door hammering at it in an attempt to free himself and come to his brother's aid. But it was no use. He crumpled to the ground when he heard his brother's desperate cries for help. He did his best to shout through the door to comfort him, but his words weren’t loud enough, over the crack of a belt and cries from the room across the hall, none of Remus' words could be heard. 

He was left to wait until he was allowed out, with tears of frustration and anger at himself tracing his face he sat and waited. He couldn’t sleep. Not with Roman in who knows what condition barely twenty feet away. He sat on his bed, leg bouncing and fingers locked together in front of his mouth. He stared at nothing as he counted the seconds. 

The cries had stopped almost an hour prior. So why was the door still jammed? Why hadn't he been let out? Why hadn't Roman come to him? His voice was gone from screaming and he felt powerless. 

He could do nothing. 

Roman was left alone in his room. 

Remus didn't know a thing. 

He didn't know if his brother was dead or alive and the intrusive thoughts that he normally would revel in were tearing him apart. Images of a bloodied corpse distorted at unnatural angles lying in a pool of blood and tears, the face frozen in a silent plea for help. Pictures of his brother in a coffin, pale and lifeless, so different from the glowing pride he used to display. Gory nightmares of them both in a ditch, dismembered and unrecognisable being slowly buried by the mud and rain, never to be seen again or avenged. 

Normally Remus loved his twisted mind, he was proud of the new haunting things he could think up and create. But now they taunted him. Things he never wanted to experience were floating through his brain and there was nothing he could do to stop them. 

That’s when a crash erupted from outside of his room and the door was shakily opened. Remus jumped up, despite his sore limbs from sitting in the same position for hours, to see Roman dripping with blood leaning against the doorframe in obvious agony. 

He stumbled into Remus' room at close to 2 am.

The older boy quickly grabbed his brother and stripped him of his bloodied clothes. Throwing them in a pile in the corner, far enough away so that neither had to look at them. Remus set to work cleaning up his brother. He dressed his wounds and stitched up the particularly nasty gashes. He winced as he did, he heard the faint gasps Roman let escape. He battled with the bruises tainting his skin, avoiding them but still managing to hurt his brother in the process. He used almost a full bottle of antiseptic to fully clean the wounds. He went through an entire roll of bandages, it appeared as though their father had gotten bored of harming Roman's back, and had moved into his legs and torso. Remus understood why it had taken him time to open his door. The poor boy must have had to crawl his way across the hall. Remus checked each and every gauze and stitch, making sure they were secure and weren’t going to pose a risk of infection. 

All was done in complete silence. 

This was the final straw. 

While Remus wrapped the last of the bandages around Roman's chest and back, he had made up his mind. He didn't care what they had to do, but they were getting out of there. 

He gave his brother his warmest hoodie. Despite being almost drenched in sweat and blood, Roman was shivering. His eyes were downcast and he was curled into a tight ball. Remus let his brother sit as he packed a bag. He threw what was left of the med kit, clothes, a few keepsakes he couldn’t part with and a few books into his backpack. He didn't really have much to his name. Anything he did was either too big or was bought by **them**. And he didn't want any reminders. 

He pulled a duffel bag from his closet and took Roman's had gently. He knew his twin would want to take more things than him. Roman looked at him confused. 

He tried to speak. “R-Re? What are you doing?” he said in a broken voice that tore Remus' heart in two. 

The older twin shook his head and motioned for him to keep quiet. Together, fingers curled tightly around each other’s, they crept into Roman's room. Remus began to pack enough of Roman's clothes so that he could last about a week. He whispered to Roman urgently “Get as much as you want to take into the bag, we can use your satchel if we need. But we aren’t coming back so grab everything and anything you want.” 

Something akin to joy sparkled in Roman's eyes for a brief second before he rushed about his room. Grabbing journals, props, his laptop as well as a familiar crown. Placing them all carefully in the carriers. When they were done, Remus grabbed his now full backpack, Roman's satchel and the duffel bag. His brother was in no state to carry anything and the other wasn’t about to let him injure himself further. 

They tip toed, with held breath, down the stairs. One creak and they would be done for. There was no sound coming from their parents’ room, but that didn't mean they hadn't passed out downstairs. So, the two slid open the back door as quietly as possible. With terror in their every move they slipped into the darkness. 

It was now 3 am and the air was bitterly cold, but with Roman wrapped in at least 3 shirts and Remus' hoodie he was taken care of. The younger had had the bright idea to also wear as many clothes as possible so they could bring more with them. That’s why Remus was now also in two hoodies and a shirt. 

Remus didn't miss the sad look Roman gave the house as they jumped into the darker twin’s car. 

Placing a hand on Roman's shoulder he whispered. “It'll be okay, I promise. And you know I always keep my promises” he smiled kindly. Roman met his brother's eyes with a small weak one in return. 

Remus didn't lie. Not anymore. His brother knew that and was thankful he had an honest boy as his protector. 

Remus turned the key and they, as quietly as possible drove out into the night. 

“Where are we going Re?” Roman asked after a few minutes of driving. 

Remus smiled nervously. This was the one part of his plan he was a tad unsure about. 

“Well… you know how you went to Virgil's a while back?” Roman nodded, a glint hope in his eyes. Remus gripped the steering wheel “His parents sounded… Super chill and nice so I was kinda hoping they might help us…” he finished. He was worried. What if they turned them away? He was fine sleeping in his car, but Roman wouldn’t be, he needed to sleep comfortably or else his injuries would be aggravated. 

Going to the hospital wasn’t an option. That would be the first place their parents would look, the staff would definitely ask questions. Then the police would get involved, maybe even social services, Remus wouldn’t risk getting separated from his brother. 

They weren’t kids any more. They were both eighteen now. So, they wouldn’t be put into foster care, or even put up in a hostel. They would be left to their own devices, they were adults now. But Remus wouldn’t share any of this with Roman. He didn't need the added stress. Remus would leave all the thoughts and insecurities in his own head, for as long as he needed to. 

Roman laughed, for the first time in almost two weeks, relief flooded every part of him. He would get to see Virgil, Patton and Logan again. They would help, they said they would. 

A small voice in the back of his mind wondered if they would be just as hospitable to Remus as they were to him. He ignored it in favour of letting himself relax for the rest of the journey. 

Their journey to the Carson household.


	31. House call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back?! We got Remus. We got Roman. We got Virgil. We got existential crisis. We got fluff. But most importantly....We got the two lovebirds in the same place again! 
> 
> Hope you all like this <3

Roman had typed Virgil's address into his brother's phone and sat back letting his eyes droop, other than the annoying GPS lady’s voice, there was no sound in the car. They were both too wrapped up in their own worlds to form sentences. Even small acts of encouragement or support were nowhere in sight, Remus' grip on the steering wheel rendered his knuckles white. 

He was trying to calculate how much money he had. If things took a grizzly turn, he was pretty sure he had enough to get them both a cheap hotel somewhere. At least until he got his next pay check, that was… 13 days away. They could get by until then, right? Maybe he could speak to Roman's school to get him a free lunch or something? Remus could always book a hotel for Roman and sleep in his car in the parking lot or across the street, it would be cheaper. But he didn't feel comfortable leaving his brother's side, not now. Plus, he was sure Roman would object, being the selfless moron, that he was. The soft snoring next to him brought a smile to his lips, at least Roman was getting rest. There was still close to half an hour left of their journey, they would hopefully be arriving close to 4 am. Remus went over his expenses again in his head, even without the money their parents ‘borrowed’ from him only a few hours ago for alcohol, he still would have enough to book a semi decent hotel, as well as providing food. Remus had to prepare for the worst, it’s what he had been doing for what felt like a lifetime. 

As long as they got somewhere safe, Remus could save up and maybe even rent their own apartment soon, as far away from those monsters as possible. 

Remus released the steering wheel from his death grip and took a deep breath. Once again it didn't feel like he and Roman were equals, he felt an overwhelming urge to protect the boy. Remus felt so much older than him, he was worrying about things he didn’t think he'd care about until he was thirty. But the sudden change the both of them had to endure had matured him, if only a little. If Remus had his way, he'd keep Roman oblivious, it wouldn’t help his recovery to be worrying about money.

But he didn't mind looking after him, he was so proud when Roman showed resilience, Remus couldn’t wait to see him perform again. God knows the last time he went to see one of Roman's shows. The guilt of his past actions still haunted him, he feared that Roman would never look at him the same way, the way he did as a child. But that wasn’t what mattered, what mattered was making sure his brother was safe. Plain and simple. 

Remus understood if Roman never forgave him, yet he still yearned for that close bond they used to share. They may be on the right path but as soon as Roman healed he may come to his sense about how vile his twin truly was. Then they would be isolated again.

-

“Roman… Come on brother wake up” Remus whispered, gently shaking Roman's knee. 

Roman stirred groggily, before blinking and smiling wide as the present hit him. “Are we here?” He asked biting his lip in excitement. 

The moment Remus nodded, Roman threw open the car door and attempted to climb out, with his weakened state he stumbled and nearly fell flat on his face. But the adrenaline and anticipation spurred him on. Remus jumped into action, running around to Roman and throwing his arm over his shoulder. 

“Come on now… slow steps…” Remus encouraged quietly, all too aware the time of morning. 

Roman was practically vibrating, he had seemingly forgot about all of his injuries, the bruises covering his face, the limp, the mangled back. All of it was gone when he was just moments away from seeing Virgil. 

Remus smiled at that. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that they were about to be turned away. 

Before he could say anything Roman had knocked on the door. He stepped back and couldn’t hide his giggle. 

When no answer came, the older twin tried, this time hitting a bit harder. They both waited in anticipation. No noise, nothing. 

“Maybe... I got the wrong address?” Remus said quietly, pulling his phone out of his pocket and searching the GPS for any wrong turns. His eyes kept flicking upwards as if someone would appear by magic, someone to help them, to save them. 

Roman had scowled. They were in, they had to be. He let go of his brother and took a few careful steps backwards. He stared up at the house, it was the right one. He knew it. 

Searching the windows for any signs of life, he spotted a creepily patterned set of curtains. That filled him with joy. Those curtains were Virgil's, that was his room. Spider curtains, Virgil hadn't stopped talking about them when they were first put up, how cool they looked, the shadows they cast, the fact his dad now didn't enter his room because he was afraid. Those were Virgil's alright. 

Bending over, with immense difficulty, Roman grabbed a handful of pebbles used to line the driveway. He tried to keep his sounds to a minimum as to not worry Remus, it didn't hurt that much. Grabbing one, he turned it over in his hand, running his fingers over the smooth surface he aimed to the best of his ability and threw it at the window. 

He heard the soft tink of it hitting the glass. Grinning, he repeated the action a few times, before he saw the window fly open and a very timid face peek out. 

He had to stop himself from screaming, there he was, after much too long, he was there, just above him staring out into the night.

His hair was just as purple as ever, if not more so in the moonlight, he had his headphones around his neck, with little storm clouds on the speakers. They were adorable, his cheeks were glistening, had he been crying? The thought that Virgil should not be this awake at 4 am did cross his mind, but the relief of seeing him again outweighed any negative emotions. 

Roman was getting major Romeo and Juliet vibes as Virgil called out “Hello? Who’s there?” 

-

Virgil was sitting in his bed, headphones on and insomnia kicking his ass. Looking at his phone he sighed as it neared 4 am. Guess he wasn’t getting any sleep today. He flopped back onto his pillows and let his eyes wander around the room. His gaze landed on a small red box taking pride of place on his desk. 

He groaned, guess he was going down that train of thought tonight? Great. 

The box was wrapped weeks ago, adorned with a festive bow. Virgil had simply been wandering the streets and saw it in the shop window, he immediately thought of Roman and decided he needed to buy it. 

He remembered the rush of <strike>love</strike> emotions, as he carefully taped the paper shut. Yes, it was early to be thinking about Christmas, even now, but he couldn't help himself. He normally despised the holiday, but something about the prince made him want to put up decorations, drink hot chocolates, wear snuggly sweaters. All that disgustingly cutesy stuff.

He missed him. As stupid as that sounded, they weren’t even together they had kissed twice, although Virgil had probably thought about it a long time before Roman did. They had no commitment to each other. And yet, that was the thing Virgil wanted more than anything else. For Roman to call him his boyfriend and to actually be a couple. It was frankly overwhelming. 

Silent tears rolled down his face, when had he started crying? That couldn’t happen, being emotionally drained before even going into school tomorrow would be a huge mistake. As much as he loved Remy and Damien, they were just as downhearted as him, he needed to be alone for a while. 

He thought he heard a soft thud, but simply put it down to being a base note in the song he was blasting into his eardrums. 

But it sounded again, this time louder. Virgil took his headphones off and listened closely, nothing came after that. He must be going crazy…that’s when a minute clink sounded at his window. 

That could be him-

No. No. Roman wasn’t here, it was probably a branch or a leaf or-

Again. There it was again. That definitely wasn’t a tree. 

_What if it was someone come to murder him?_

**Irrational.**

His father’s voice echoed in his ear. He took a deep breath and moved to open the window, slowly he poked his head out and addressed the darkness around him.

-

Roman squealed “Virgil! Storm cloud it’s me!” he said no longer caring about the biting air or the pain it caused him to smile wide. Remus whipped around, looking at him questioningly. 

Virgil stopped dead, his heart beating wildly, that was Roman voice... from below him. He quickly dragged his gaze downwards and nearly fell out of the window at the sight. 

It was Roman, there was no doubt about that. But he didn't look anything like himself, the purple splotches on his skin were prominent even in the low light and he stood strangely, like it hurt to put weight on his legs. It worried him for a moment before his brain began to work again. 

_Roman was stood right there! He was alive! He was here! _

He smiled the biggest smile he had in months. No cocky smirk, no loving glare. Just pure, innocent joy. “R-Roman? What are you doing here? Where the fuck have you been? I’ve been worried sick, we all have. Goddamn it I'm so glad you’re here-”

Roman cut off his rant with a laugh, “I’ll explain everything storm cloud, just let us in, please?” 

“Us?” 

“Roman what are you looking at?” Remus moved to join his brother and followed his line of sight. There, hanging out the window was his brother's boyfriend. (Who cared if they weren't together yet, it was going to happen sooner or later.) “Ah. I see” he said smiling up at Virgil. 

The emo shook himself, “Wait right there, I won’t be a minute!” he said grinning ear to ear before disappearing back inside his house. He ran out of his room, not caring about noise. “DAD! FATHER! ROMAN’S HERE!” he shouted, flying down the stairs. 

He heard mumbling from his dads’ room but ignore it in favour of grabbing his keys and flinging the door open. No longer able to wait a second. Roman was there! After a lifetime he was finally back in Virgil's line of sight.

The two looked at each other, before beginning to cry simultaneously, Virgil threw himself into Roman's arms. 

The taller teen winced when Virgil's frantic hands grasped his back, but he made no noise. When Remus sent him a worried glance Roman simply shook his head. 

Everything was fine. 

Roman lowered them so they were on the floor, wrapped tight in each other’s arms, sobbing and laughing. Virgil was babbling some kind of apology, and a desperate plea for him to never leave again, Roman shushed him softly, playing with his hair and trying not to jolt at the pain Virgil was unintentionally causing. Despite all this, Roman had a feeling. 

They would be okay. Everything was going to be fine.


	32. Welcome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little bit short and very Remus centric. But I promise you ill get back to Princey and Virgil soon! Hope you enjoy! <3

Wrapped in each other’s embrace, Roman and Virgil felt like they were in their own little bubble. Their own personal world where nothing could get them, not Virgil's anxiety, not Roman's parents, nothing. They were relieved to feel each other again. Virgil could feel Roman's heartbeat, slightly elevated but not out of fear for once. Roman could feel Virgil's hair tickling his chin, it was a familiar feeling, something he found comfort in. 

Remus watched his brother fondly. He stood awkwardly as the two simply sat in each other’s hold, soft mumbles and sniffs the only communication. One of his intrusive thoughts wormed its way into his mind. 

_Should he leave? _

Roman was in good hands now. There was no need for him to be there. He’d probably be unwelcome anyway. His smile dropped and he took careful steps towards the door.

That’s when he heard frantic voices and thundering footsteps making their way down the stairs. It was too familiar. The voices, the noise. He began to feel sick with fear, his eyes instinctively going to his brother, who had come out of Virgil's embrace a little and wore a similar expression.

But instead of their red-faced father descending the stairs, a shorter middle age man, with a round freckled face dressed in a cat onesie did. Trying to put thick glasses onto his face, he was accompanied by a tall thin man in navy blue pyjamas, with equally thick square spectacles. He was less frantic but still concerned. 

The first practically threw his arms around the two on the floor, looking close to tears. His face, that Remus suspected was always adorned with a smile, was now in a twisted mixture of joy and sadness. A look that Remus did not like, he seemed so… nice. Nice people didn't like him. Nice people liked his brother. It was probably best he slipped away silently. 

Unfortunately, he didn't keep tabs on the taller male who, when he looked up, was staring at him intensely. Immediately he began to back up, eager to leave before he was physically forced to. 

He could hear the first man’s constant fretting over his brother, turning his face and embracing him acting more like a father than their actual dad ever did, while Remus held the other’s gaze. “Roman kiddo… we were so worried. Are you ok? Did you get hurt? You must be so tired, look at you you're as thin as a twig! We’ll take care of you don’t you worry” 

That last sentence both comforted Remus and made him wince. They would take care of him, they would take him away and care for him. He wouldn’t even get the chance to say goodbye…

“Who are you?” the taller man said, his tone was unreadable, it sounded nice enough but Remus could sense the underlying accusatory elements. His words prompted all eyes to turn to him. He swallowed. 

“I-I'm Remus… Roman's twin…” he said backing up again slightly. 

“I was not aware Roman was a twin, I assume you two drove here?” Remus nodded gesturing to the car, and retreating further, he was so close to the door. 

The first man spoke up “Why are you backing away? We wont bite!” he joked. 

Remus forced a smile, “I don’t want to overstay my welcome, I'm sure Roman's in perfectly good hands.” 

“Remus... please don’t leave… you have nowhere to go” Roman said shaking at the face Remus was pulling, it wasn’t one he'd seen his brother wear before, it unsettled him.

“Brother…” Remus bent down. “I’ll find somewhere… plus I’m not sure these people will want… someone like me staying here…” he said quietly. 

Roman was about to respond when the taller man spoke again, his hearing apparently a lot better than his eyesight “What do you mean ‘someone like you’” he asked a bit suspicious now. 

Remus stood up quickly, ready to run, when Roman got to his feet and stood in front of him. “He doesn’t think you will like him, he’s scared you’ll ask him to leave. But, I'm only here because of him, please Mr. Carson, don’t turn him away. I need him” Roman practically begged. 

The man looked shocked “I wasn’t planning on doing that Roman. You are both welcome here, no matter what” he said simply, accompanied by a nod and hum from the smaller man still on the ground. 

Remus studied them both carefully “Really?” 

“Really” Logan replied.

“Thankyou…” he said quietly. 

“Of course,” he said smiling, his attitude now turning to someone in charge “Now, Patton would you take Roman and look over his injuries, Virgil you go as well” The other two helped Roman into another room leaving Remus with Logan. 

“Right then, judging by your stance and movements you are not badly hurt.” He said mostly to himself. “Did you and Roman bring any bags with you?” 

Remus nodded. “Good, I will help you bring them inside then ill address the cut on your forehead, it shouldn’t need stitches but we can’t be too careful. My name is Logan by the way” He said offering his hand, which Remus shook gratefully. 

Together they hauled the bags into the living room and dumped them on the couch. Logan grabbed some medical supplies and began to inspect Remus’ cut. 

“It is relatively shallow so some antiseptic will do” while cleaning the wound Logan tried to make conversation with the obviously scared teen. 

“Do you go to school with Roman?” 

“N-no I uh… I work” 

“Where?” 

“You probably haven’t heard of it… It’s nothing major…” 

“Where?” he repeated this time a little concerned for the boy. Why was he so secretive? He prayed that he wasn’t involved with something illegal. 

Remus stared back at him, there was no way he was getting out of this… he was doing so well too! He may as well accept his fate.

“I… I work at the… the mortuary” he said quietly. 

Logan moved his hand away, looking at him confused. “Then why are you so opposed to talking about it?” 

“Well… It-It’s strange isn’t it? Working with bodies all day?” he said trying to play it off. 

“I wouldn’t say so. What area do you work in?” 

“I- uh… Analyse the bodies for cause of death… I'm only an apprentice, that’s why it doesn’t pay as well” he said sheepishly. 

“But, a scientific job non the less. Roman must be proud of his brother” 

“Roman… Roman doesn’t actually know… he knows I work… just not where exactly… I didn't want to freak him out.” 

“Why would you freak him out?” Logan asked, now more focused on the conversation than anything else. 

Remus looked at him strangely “You're kidding right? If he knew what I did all day every day, then he'd be disgusted! He wouldn’t want to touch me, let alone see me! He'd be disappointed that I couldn’t find a more… normal job. He’d think I was some sort of psychopath, then I’d lose him! I can’t-… I can’t lose him…” he said looking down. His eyes filled with tears, it was like the last few weeks of emotions had finally caught up with him. 

“Remus” Logan spoke carefully. “Working with cadavers is nothing to be ashamed of. You are clearly good at science, that makes you intelligent. Which is an incredibly redeemable quality. Maybe Roman would be a tad confused, but he'd never reject you. You are his brother.” Logan offered placing a hand on Remus' shoulder. 

Leaving the silence hanging between them, Logan finished dressing Remus' injury. All the while pondering the type abuse the twins had to endure to become so insecure and nervous, the terrified look both brother's had when Patton had ran loudly down the stairs didn't go unnoticed. 

“You should tell him. I'm not going to berate you, but I think he deserves to know the truth.” Logan said as they both stood up. 

Remus nodded gratefully. 

The teen looked at the man before him. He had been calm, calculated and a little robotic if he was being honest. But he had welcomed him into his home. Had eased his worries and comforted him. All without knowing him for more than a day.

He seemed the intelligent type. What with the way he spoke and the fact he looked like he had a stick up his butt 24/7. Remus felt like he would get along with this guy. He seemed like he would answer Remus' questions, or listen to him while he ranted about his latest thought. No matter how disgusting or intrusive they were. 

It felt like he was the only one who could challenge him. But Remus strangely felt calm about it, like his logical energy was infectious. 

“Hey can I ask you-”

A shrill scream sounded above them.


	33. Screaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody! Hope you're all having a good day today! Hope you enjoy this <3

Remus and Logan exchanged a glance for a brief moment before taking off, Logan leading the both of them taking the stairs two at a time. 

Logan knew screams, he was used to being around them, whether it was Patton's exclamation at the sight of a spider, or Virgil's blood curdling shrieks when he had a nightmare. He knew his family, he knew what they sounded like, the way they walked, the way they spoke. The precise placement of every hair on their head. 

He knew Patton's scream when he heard it. 

Remus was less familiar but a scream was a scream, and since it wasn’t followed by laughter then it couldn’t be good. 

Logan looked like a man on a mission, he didn't stop, didn't glance back, he didn't speak. With adrenaline pounding in their veins, both of them were apprehensive but determined to face whatever awaited them upstairs. 

Logan immediately knew which room to go in, flinging the door open with enough force to have it smash against the adjacent wall, Remus followed close behind. 

The sight before the logical man concerned his greatly. Patton, with tears flowing down his face, with Roman nowhere in sight.

-

Patton grasped Roman's arm and helped him carefully up the stairs. He didn't expect there to be many injuries, maybe some bruising, he had a black eye and a few cuts on his face. That wasn’t anything Patton couldn’t handle! Even though he was a vet, he still did his degree in nursing. It was even the job he wanted to have, that was until he realised, he would be able to work with all the cute animals! 

He left Virgil with Roman in his and Logan's room as he went to find the med kit. They had it packed away at the back of a closet somewhere, Patton was clumsy, at least at home. He'd easily admit that he had his fair share of bruises and bumps over the years. 

He fumbled around amongst the blankets and old clothes, letting his mind wander as he grasped for the box. 

Roman didn't seem to be that hurt. The kiddo was smiling and joking with Virgil and himself, so surely, he didn't need that much medical attention. Then again, why was Roman not at school for two weeks? It could be a mental thing, like he was scared to face Virgil, or was too traumatized to find the motivation to get out of bed. But, as his husband would say, logic dictates there was a deeper and more poignant reason.

His fingers finally found the cold plastic of the kit and he smiled as he made his way back into the room. This would be the first step to healing. Get this done and Roman would be on the road to recovery. At least he was here with them. He had Virgil, him and Logan. He even had his brother, though the boy seemed a tad strange… Patton was happy he had someone from his family he could rely on. 

He almost squealed at the sight when he walked in. Roman was leaning on Virgil's shoulder, nearly asleep, the emo was playing with his hair and whispering softly to him. It was undeniably adorable. 

“Come on kiddo, let’s get you cleaned up then you can sleep” Patton said smiling. 

Roman stirred and stood up to face the older man. Patton took a closer look at his face, it was bruised a lot more than he thought now he could see it in the light, with a swollen lip and a barely healed cut on his cheek, he was sure it would hurt to talk. But the kiddo was clearly a fighter, he was safe now, he wasn’t going to get hurt again. 

Patton started to rub ointments into his cheeks and lip, Roman winced but there was no sound coming from him. There wasn’t anything he could do for the bruising apart from let it heal, he could only offer sympathy. The poor boy must have been through so much hell. 

He patted Roman on the shoulder and smiled. He was about to speak but a surprise yelp stopped him.

“Did I hurt you? Kiddo, I'm so sorry. Can I take a look at your back?” he asked worriedly. 

Roman swallowed and was visibly shaking. “I-I'm fine Mr Carson, really I just… you uh caught me off guard that’s all” 

“Roman, I know what pain looks like, let me take a look at your back, I need to make sure you’re okay. Please?” 

Roman breathed deeply and turned around to face the emo sitting on the bed. He peeled off his shirt slowly and with baited breath, he waited. 

He closed his eyes as he heard the intake of air. He saw Virgil's eyes, looking over him, but they weren't with any sort of attraction, it was confusion and worry that laced his features. He wasn’t sure whether it was Patton or Virgil that gasped, but one of them did. 

Patton was looking over Roman's back. It was covered in worn and ripped bandages. They look at least 5 years old, as if someone didn't have chance to buy new ones. They were covered in black dried blood that turned Patton's stomach, they were messily tied and were beginning to come undone. This wasn’t too bad… it’s the uncertainty of what lay underneath that scared him. 

He spoke softly “Can I take the bandages off?” 

Roman nodded his head, keeping his eyes closed. He wished he could be anywhere else. But he couldn’t say no to Patton. He couldn’t say no to anyone, except maybe Virgil and Remus… This needed to be done, he knew that, yet why was this so hard? 

Was it the fact he was admitting defeat? Or he was admitting what was done behind closed doors? 

It was nothing much, nothing to be dramatic about. Just a few scratches and- 

Roman cut off his thoughts. No, he couldn’t think like that. Not anymore, he was being hurt, that wasn’t right. He needed to tell himself that they were wrong. That that’s not the way parents are supposed to act.

But why did his brain reject the idea so often? It was obvious what was done to him. Yet he couldn’t get his brain to agree with everyone else. ‘He was fine. He wasn’t getting hurt. This was just their way of teaching him. It was normal, everything’s fine’ Thoughts spiralled through his mind out of control. Removing the bandages was him saying that his parents were wrong. Showing other people his injuries would only make things worse. He needed to stop it. He needed to stop it now. 

Patton's cool fingers untied the bandages, the feeling stopped Roman short, the words died in his throat as he felt his protection, his barrier, his armour being removed. Those pieces of fabric were his way of hiding, of disappearing and being invisible. People notice an injured kid, no one notices the normal one. But then again, was he ever normal? 

He bit his lip as the first section fell away.

He jumped as a cry was let out behind him. Roman shrunk in on himself, gripping his shoulders to ground his mind. 

**Get out. **

Spotting the on-suite bathroom he didn’t think, just acted. He ran inside and locked the door behind him. Crouching on the floor, cradling himself, allowing the tears to flow. 

Patton stood, hands shaking, staring at the bathroom door. The image burned into his mind. He felt sick. He wanted to be sick, he wanted to track those monsters down and beat them to a pulp. 

He caught Virgil's eye, who was now more nervous than ever. He had that panicked look, the one before he was going to have an attack, Patton needed to act. Where was Logan? He needed Logan right now… he needed someone to help him. 

As if he summoned him, Patton jumped as the door was flung wide open. Smashing against the wall. Patton smiled to his husband for a brief second. 

“You screamed, what happened?” Logan said, his tone a little more frantic than usual, but still relatively calm. 

Patton shook his head “I um… it’s Roman… he uh…” 

He was cut off by Virgil standing up “What’s wrong with Roman? Why did you scream dad?” he asked, almost demanding an answer. 

Remus seemed to be the first to catch on. He looked around the room, seeing Roman's shirt on the floor confirmed his suspicions, his heart rate picked up “Where is he?” Patton pointed to the door. 

Remus stormed over muttering under his breath “You're all idiots, morons, imbeciles, ignorant goddamn people” he knocked on the door, his tone now changing dramatically “Roman, it’s me, let me in? Please?” the door was opened and Remus was practically pulled inside. 

Remus sat next to his twin who had resumed his position, crouched on the floor hugging himself. With the wounds now a little exposed, Remus could see the damage done to his brother. He could see the infection forming. It set him on edge.

But there was no time for fretting when Roman was in this state. He held his brother's face and spoke quietly. “Breathe for me RoRo, yeah? Can you do that for me please?” 

Roman obeyed and took breaths of air, having to try again and again as his breath kept getting caught in his throat under the tears. 

Remus wiped away the fresh flow of water, as Roman finally got his breathing under control. The younger sat back and released his arms from his own death grip. He stared up into Remus' eyes with a pleading look. 

Remus wasn’t sure what he was asking. For Remus to leave? To get help? To get them both out of there? The older just smiled and opened his arms. 

Roman responded immediately, crawling into his brother's embrace and wrapping his arms around his middle. Remus carefully avoided his back and threaded his fingers through his hair. Whispering to him, trying to calm him. 

“They hate me now… They’ve seen what I am, what happened. They're going to kick us out Re” Roman said defeated. 

“No, they’re not, they love you. It’s clear they do… But for what they’ve just done… Making you feel like that… I’ll kill them”


	34. Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I hope you are having a good day wherever you are! Hope you like this, it sounds a lot more dramatic than it is actually going to be XD <3

The two brothers stayed intertwined for close to half an hour, Remus didn't dare leave and Roman didn't want to face the outside.

Behind the door, Virgil had retreated to his room, too worked up to talk or sleep despite the early hour, he knew he wasn’t going to be let into the bathroom so what was the point in trying? He couldn’t believe that in a couple of hours, he had gotten Roman back, the joy he felt was overwhelming, but now it was as if he had lost him all over again. 

Patton and Logan had sat on the bed for a few minutes, lost in their subconscious, both staring at the door and what lay beyond it, before making their way downstairs. 

Once settled on the couch, Logan attempted to get Patton to tell him what he had seen, he had a theory but needed confirmation. Admittedly he hoped Patton had simply overreacted, but his brain told him not to rule out the possibility of what he thought, being true. 

“Dear, tell me what you saw, what made you so upset?” he asked holding his husband’s hands. 

Patton simply looked at their locked fingers, Logan would know what to do, it was logical to tell him. He was a professor, he was smart, he was resourceful, he would be able to sort this mess out. So why was it so difficult to say out loud. Patton prided himself on being honest, yet here he was too afraid to face the truth. He couldn’t bear the thought of Roman suffering the way he obviously had been and they did nothing to stop it. It was happening right under their noses and they did nothing. 

Guilt. Fear. That was what was holding him back, but if he didn't say anything, nothing could be done. 

Logan spoke again, “Patton. Please I need you to tell me, then we can work together to help them both, but we can’t do anything until you inform me” 

Both? …Remus, he was also in the firing line, if nothing was done it wasn’t only Roman at risk but his brother as well. 

“You're right Lo, I know you're right… it’s just… it was so… so…” he felt a lump rising in his throat. 

“Take your time” Logan said soothingly, rubbing gentle circles on Patton's hand with his thumb. 

Patton took a breath, avoiding Logan's eyes “There… there were marks… some old… some scarily new… b-but they weren't just marks, there was gashes, huge chunks of his back… Logan I think… I think it was a belt… or… or a knife…” Patton said quietly. 

Logan's hands stopped moving as he listened to him. 

He had guessed correctly. But for the first time, he wasn’t happy about it.

One emotion that Logan wasn’t as good at suppressing was anger. He was able to identify it easily but was powerless to stop it. 

As his hands stilled Patton looked up to see the tell-tale sign of Logan's frustration. The teacher felt like tracking down those bastards and showing them what it meant to be hurt. He had Roman's address from when he took him home, he could go there right now. Why didn't he do anything? The first time he saw that man drag Roman inside he should have done something, he could have called the police, he could have marched up to the door and caught them in the act. And yet he did nothing. 

Now it was Patton's turn to comfort, “Logan, I know what you're thinking but stop it. What do you always say? Think it through objectively, going over there now will solve nothing” 

Logan took a breath, using some techniques he learned from Virgil to calm himself. “I'm perfectly fine Patton. Me wanting to break very bone in their bodies, doesn’t mean I will actually do it.” 

Patton smiled for a moment, then the joy faded. “So, what are we going to do?”

“I’ll tell you what we are gonna do” Virgil's voice echoed from the stairs, he walked down slowly, taking each step carefully.

“Virgil. How much of that did you hear?” Logan asked standing up. 

Reaching the bottom, Virgil stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked down “Enough to get why you didn't tell me what you saw” his usual makeup was smudged and ruined. Logan cast a look back to Patton, who was sat on the couch wringing his hands guiltily. 

“At least he knows now Patton” he said to the form behind him. Turning back to his son he spoke in his usual measured tone. “What do you suggest Virgil?” 

The emo took a seat on the stairs, crossing his legs under him, Logan leaned back against the arm of the couch. “Well, we have to take him to the hospital considering what you said dad… plus we need to contact someone to go and get those shit heads.” 

“Language kiddo” his dad reprimanded, a small apology was mumbled before Logan spoke. 

“You understand Remus is not going to be happy about any of that, he is very protective of his brother and rightly so, but I believe he thinks that their parents are going to track them down.” 

“Then do it when he’s not around, simple” 

“But that’s not fair to Remus…” Patton began. 

“So? It’s the best thing for Roman. we all know it, we just have to do something about it” he said leaning against the wall. 

Logan sighed “He has a solid point, it is the best thing we can do in this situation.” 

Patton stood up and made his way to his son, wrapping him in a hug he chuckled “Sometimes I worry you're too mature for your age” Virgil smiled and returned the hug. They had a plan. 

Now to execute it. 

-

Remus helped his brother out of the bathroom after who knows how long. The tears had long since vanished and the need for sleep had settled in. Helping Roman back into his shirt, to protect him more than anything else, they hobbled out into the hallway, in which they nearly walked right into Patton. 

“Kiddos!” he grinned, it looked like he was about to hug them but decided against it “You look exhausted… I’ll get Logan and set you both up with somewhere to sleep.” He smiled, calling for his husband he began to consider the options. 

“Ah, you two have emerged, I'm assuming you will want to retire for as long as you can until the sun comes up.” Checking his watch he shook his head at the early time, all of their ultradian rhythms would now be compromised “All 47 minutes of it” they had all lost track of time, the night not over yet and so much had happened, it was baffling. Both boys had dark circles around their bloodshot eyes, they were in desperate need of sleep. “Now, Roman, you are most likely better sleeping in the guest room, it'll be a lot more comfortable considering your current state. Remus, that leaves you with the couch, I trust that will be satisfactory?” 

“Isn’t there any way I can be near him?” Remus asked, tightening his hold on Roman ever so slightly. 

Surprisingly it was the other twin that spoke “Re… I’ll be fine, I promise. You’ll only be downstairs, I can always call if I need you” he smiled. 

Remus looked into his brother's eyes for a moment before giving in, “If you're sure…” he said as he let go of Roman, slowly moving down the stairs “I’ll see you in the morning little brother” 

Roman smiled “See you in the morning, Dukey” he quipped.

Roman was helped to the spare room by Patton, the dad made a big fuss over the boy, offering more blankets, more pillows, glasses of water. Roman refused them all except some of Virgil's clothes to act as pyjamas, insisting the room was more than enough, and he meant it. After making sure Roman was ok to dress himself, Patton left him to it, bidding him goodnight. 

Roman lay in bed after a painful change of clothes and shuffle to the mattress. He smiled to himself, yet he missed the warmth of having Remus beside him. 

Remus was led downstairs, away from his brother which he wasn’t happy about. But Roman said he would be okay and it was true that nothing was going to happen to him while Remus was there. Even if someone broke in, Remus was right by the door, Roman was upstairs, out of harms way. 

Logan was surprisingly comforting, making sure Remus had everything he needed. The teen was suspicious but grateful, he took as many blankets and pillows as he was allowed. Wrapping himself in a cocoon of fabric he heard the man speak as he left but he was too busy focusing on the feeling deep in the pit of his stomach. He was worried, it seemed to be a familiar feeling recently. 

But the feeling of being surrounded by blankets did nothing to stop the empty feeling he had, he was accustomed to having Roman near him at all times, he was either in his arms or in the room, it was almost unbearable to not have him there.


	35. Wanted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I just want to sincerely apologise for the weird lack of updates, I’ve had exams -non-stop, as well as being sick and I just haven’t had the time, I hope you all still stick around though. I want to get this finished before Christmas, so ill be updating (hopefully) on Sunday and then Monday, to wrap up this story. Just two more to go after this!

“Roman…Roman? Come on kiddo wake up” A soft and gentle voice brought the prince out of his dreamland. He blinked until the image of a smiling Patton came into view. He returned the expression, sitting up. For a moment forgetting about his injuries and jolting himself even more awake with the sudden pain. 

Patton steadied him, grasping his arm in comfort “There you go kiddo, that’s it you can do it.” He helped Roman to swing his legs to the side of the bed and shakily get to his feet. 

Roman yawned as he nearly fell into Patton, “What time is it?” he asked in a raspy voice. 

An answering voice from the door alerted him to Logan's form in the doorway a bag in hand, “It is 11:32 am to be precise” he said looking at his watch. 

Roman stilled “Oh my god… I slept in so late I'm sorry” He shook himself trying to rid the remaining dizziness of sleep from his mind. God he was so lazy. He tried to figure out what day it was, but he had lost track of time… badly. Until Logan told him, it could have been 7 pm or 3 am for all he knew. Was it Thursday? Or Monday? No… it was Tuesday… right? 

As if reading his mind Logan spoke again, “Do not stress, it is Saturday Roman. Saturday the 31st of November.” He gave Roman one of his rare but sincere smiles. Ok. Roman could deal with that, he knew the time, the date, it helped to ground him, if only slightly. 

“Do you feel up to a little trip today kiddo?” Patton asked, there was something in his eyes, a look that Roman couldn’t place. He felt like he should be able to pinpoint it, it looked familiar… but not on Patton. 

“I think I do, I'm not in much pain, I think I'm getting better” he chuckled trying to play off his concern. 

“Remus told me most of your clothes are in here” Logan said, finally walking into the room and placing the duffel bag on the bed. Roman nodded in gratitude “We shall leave you to get ready, unless you need assistance?” Logan gave Roman the look a parent or teacher would if they expected the answer to be ‘no’. But Roman could tell he was being genuine. 

He shook his head nevertheless, “I’ll be ok. Thank you again, for all that you have done for me and Remus” he said. He knew the Carson's would tell him he was being silly, of course they were happy to help in anyway possible. But Roman felt so in debt to these people, they had done so goddamn much for him. They had cleaned him up after Matthew, they had welcomed him into their home even when he treated their son like shit. They had protected him and worried about him, all the while what had Roman done? Cleaned a few dishes then brought his brother to their home as well. He would never be able to pay them back for all the selflessness they displayed. 

“Kiddo, we do it ‘cause we care, and we do truly care about you. Remus too. You're both in need of some good ol’ fashioned love and we are gonna help in any way that we can” Patton smiled wide. 

Roman nodded, afraid that if he spoke, he would burst into tears. 

The two adults retreated and Roman, as quick as he could, got ready. It was comforting to be in his clothes again, when the twins were at home, they never really got chance to wear nice clothing or take pride in their appearances. It was about survival, and if they found one shirt was more durable and thicker than another, they made sure to keep that one on as much as possible. 

Slowly making his way downstairs, Roman saw his brother's hair poking out of a pile of material. Patton and Logan were waiting by the door, “Is Remus not coming?” the boy asked carefully. 

The two looked at each other “I think its best if you just come for today Roman… Remus is perfectly fine on his own.” Logan said looking strangely uncomfortable. 

“Ok…” Roman eyed them both suspiciously “And Virgil?” 

“He’s not awake yet” Patton giggled, his laughter sounded forced however, “I told him we all were going out though, he’s responsible and I trust him to be ok with Remus for a while” he explained. Roman nodded, understanding his logic.

The teen walked over to the pile of fluff and whispered to his brother, trying to wake him up but not jar him into consciousness. “Re? Remus? Patton and Logan are taking me out for a while okay?” he heard a grunt and took it as Remus' acknowledgement. “I’ll be back later, Virgil's here… you got along with Virgil remember?” the blob under the blankets murmured something and Roman smiled “I’ll see you when we get back” he said and walked back to the couple. 

“Okay then, lets go” 

-

Roman's voice, Remus could have sworn he heard it. He felt like he was underwater, he heard Roman's voice saying he was going away, that he would see him later but Remus knew that was a lie. He would never see his brother again and he couldn’t even hug him goodbye. He was restrained by the weight of water on top of him. He was drowning. He couldn’t breathe. He was going to die.

He would never see Roman again, never be able to protect him, try to repair their relationship, when they weren’t in immediate danger. All of that was going to be gone. His last thought was with Roman, trying to pinpoint the exact moment it all went wrong.

That’s when he woke up. His eyes flew open but his limbs wouldn’t move, it all felt so real. Damn his imagination. Sometimes he loved the chaos and calamity he could cause, but now it was all coming back to bite him in the ass. 

He lay there for a few minutes, just staring at the ceiling, he focused on what he could feel. More specifically what he couldn’t feel. There was… a weight in his stomach, something he knew he should dwell on but decided to avoid.

He couldn’t shake that nagging feeling that something was wrong, something was missing. 

He should be happy, Roman is safe, so was he, they were far away and he knew the men wouldn’t let anything happen to them. At the very least they would protect Roman. 

**You should be grateful… it could be a lot worse **

Remus paused, in his bundle of blankets he was suddenly too hot, memories were flooding back and he was being slowly devoured by them. He threw the blankets off of himself and stood up, he began to pace, slowly at first simply trying to keep the intrusive thoughts at bay. But, slowly picking up speed as they took over his mind.

Crawling through every gap they could find, clawing at the last strands of his sanity, dragging him deeper and deeper into his mind. 

Creaks above him made him crack his head to the side. It was freakishly sudden, so much that an emo descending the stairs nearly toppled backwards. “Jesus Christ Remus, that was terrifying.” He said shaking himself as he reached solid ground. 

He pulled him headphones out of his pocket and wrapped his coat tightly around him. Remus watched with curiosity, it took his attention away from his brain so he focused on it, intensely. “Try not to destroy the house while you're alone” Virgil said passively. 

Remus stalked towards him, already the gears in his head turning “Alone? What do you mean alone?” he said quickly. 

Virgil took an unconscious step backwards, more than a little wary. “Uh, well I'm going out and that leaves you as the only one in the house” he said slowly. 

Only one? What the hell? What about Logan? Patton? Ro-…Where the fuck was Roman? 

“Where are they? If they did something to him, I swear to god I’ll pluck each one of their fingernails off their hands and nail them to a chalkboard” Remus ranted, his voice growing in volume. 

“Remus, I need you to calm down-”

“CALM DOWN?! You want me to calm down when I don’t know where the hell my brother is? He could be dead for all I know!”

“He is fine, I promise you. Do you really think that they would hurt him?” Now that was a question… He didn't know these people after all. They could be doing anything to his brother. 

Then again, they welcomed them both with open arms. What kind of axe murderer would welcome their victim and their brother into their home, then take the victim to be killed and leave the brother in their own house? 

Well… when he thought about it like that. Remus shook his head. 

“There see? Nothing to worry about, they’ve just taken him to be looked over, that’s it. Now I'm going to Damien's, so there’s food in the cupboard if dad doesn’t get back before you get hungry” and with that, Virgil left. 

Remus stared at the door for a solid 4 minutes, **_’looked over’_**? What in the name of Hecate did that mean? Suddenly, like a bolt of lightning it hit him, looked over meant examinations, examinations meant doctors, doctors meant hospitals. Those dickheads had taken Roman to a hospital, hadn't they? And now the twins were going to be tracked down… they're chance at a new life would be ruined. 

Remus felt like punching a wall, his fists twitched in rage, they had ruined it, ruined all of it. He screamed like a banshee and punched the couch and cushions to relive his anger. He buried his head in the mound of fabric and let out the most blood-curdling scream he could manage. 

He panted as he rolled off of the couch and onto the floor. Now wasn’t the time for fury, that was later, when they all got home, that was the time to release all of his frustration. So, for now, he just had to sit tight.

Remus was left alone, to wander an alien house, with nothing but his thoughts to keep him company. 

He looked in every room, could you blame him? The kid was bored and curious. After a while he committed to just sitting on the couch staring at the wall. He could always take the car out, but the he would then have to leave the door unlocked and he didn't want to do anything that would jeopardise their temporary accommodation. As much as he wanted to bury them all alive, they were providing a home for them. His phone lay discarded, his messages and call logs were all from work, asking were he was, threatening to fire him. but he didn't care, he was… numb. That was all he could say, the anger had ebbed away, the fear and sadness had disappeared. He felt like an empty shell. 

So, he retreated into his mind and his thoughts. Getting lost in the absolute mosh pit of his brain. This was the best distraction, hopefully something in his mind could trigger some kind of emotion, he wasn’t used to this. He was used to extreme emotions, all of them mixed together, trying to get out of him. All of them were amped up to the max, constantly. This wasn’t fun, this wasn’t fun at all. 

His eyes flew open as the dice landed on a memory, one he wished he could forget. He tried to think of literally anything else, but the memory crashed down on him like a wave, he was forced to endure it. He held his head in his hands as it flowed through him. 

_He and Roman were fifteen, the treatment had been going on for around 8 years. Remus being put on a pedestal and Roman being thrown to the gutter. Remus had no idea why he was chosen to be the ‘golden child’ he always had seen Roman as superior to himself; the boy was practically perfect, he was a child any other parent would show off to the world. But now a lot of the praise Remus received had gone to his head. He saw the way his parents treated Roman and wanted to be just like them. Thy encouraged him to follow their lead, they were so proud when he announced he was dropping out of school and getting job. _

_They were his parents, his protectors, his role models. Roman deserved it, if the authority deemed him inferior then that had to be the truth. _

Remus cringed at his old mindset. 

_So he did what they did, treated Roman like shit. Remus manipulated him, made him feel valued one day then worthless the next. He was thrilled with the control he had over his brother. It was addictive, and the constant encouragement spurred him on. _

_But once he got a job, things began to mutate. He got one of his friend’s brother to set him up with a permanent gig. But once he was working, he lost any connections he had with his old life. He was an adult now. He worked all day, so he couldn’t fulfil his parent’s wishes, so he spent his night running errands, doing whatever they asked of him. He saw the way inferiors were treated, that meant he would do his best to keep his spotlight and not fall into the darkness. _

_But that was difficult, now his mother had quit her job saying she wanted more time to herself. So, Remus was left to pick up the pieces of their life, he was now contributing almost half of his pay check to pay for utilities and food. Then his father quit too. They claimed money from the government but it was hardly enough to keep them going, so now at the end of the month Remus had little to no money remaining. But he didn't complain, he paid, he worked, he gave his parents money for alcohol and whatever else when they asked for it. He was the sole source of genuine income. But he would do it, he would do whatever it took to stay the favourite, to stay appreciated, to stay wanted. _

Remus wiped his eyes as his mind cleared again. 

** You should be grateful… it could be a lot worse **

Words he would never forget, actions he would never make up for, insults he could never take back. They haunted him. The pressure from his parents would forever be in the back of his mind.

He would never be rid of them. Never. 

Just as Roman would never be free of the things Remus did to him. 

Remus was disgusted with himself as he lay on the couch, sobbing quietly to himself as even more memories and flashes raced past his vision. These were his demons. The final monster he would never be able to defeat.


	36. Everything's falling into place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody!! I just want to say a big thank you for all the kind comments on the last update, here is the penultimate chapter... i'm so sad that's its all coming to an end, but it will be exciting to actually finish a story for once XD. Hope you all enjoy <3

Roman couldn’t help the sick feeling he had sitting in that car, he may not know the neighbourhood but he felt as if he was being led to his doom. 

He shook the emotions away, this was Patton and Logan for God’s sake. They wouldn’t hurt him and they certainly wouldn’t make him do the one thing that he didn't want to. The adults sat silently in the front seats, Logan driving, his grip on the wheel tightening each minute, Roman could see Patton picking at his nails and twisting the strings on his light blue hoodie. It set him on edge.

Roman looked away, instead focusing on the houses they passed by, some already had Christmas lights up, even though it wasn’t even December yet. He marvelled at the decorations, he could see inside some houses and smiled at their beautiful trees, their wreaths hung on the door, some even had reindeer and snowmen on their lawns, all of it made him forget about his problems, even if it was just for that split second. 

Before long, Roman began to notice words on the passing signs, one caught his eye but he refused to acknowledge it. It must just be close to where they were going, there was no way they were going… there. Yet they carried on, as if they were following the signs. As if they were leading him there. 

He shook his head, choosing to instead look down at his feet to keep his mind from running away from him. It wasn’t true, it couldn’t be. But the voice in his head still chanted at him. 

_Hospital. Hospital. Hospital_

His fear began to creep into his body language, his arms were wrapped tight around him, holding him together. The fear in his stomach had him hunched over so far that his forehead was almost touching his knees. 

He could feel himself shaking, his chest rising quicker than he could handle, his fingers digging into his arms as he tried to ground himself. 

It was happening again, the untameable terror and the constant anxiety. He had made so much progress with Remus. Now he was reverting into his old self, he couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t let his brother down, he couldn’t let all Remus fought for be for nothing. 

Breathe. 

_Just breathe. _

_ **Goddamn it, it’s not that hard! ** _

_ ** Just breathe Roman!  ** _

Fingers in his hair made him sit up suddenly, the hand was retracted immediately. 

Patton looked at him apologetically “Sorry kiddo, you just seemed a little spaced out there, needed to get your attention… We’re here” 

Why did he sound so scared? What was happening? 

Roman sat up and looked around, desperate for his nightmare to be over, praying that he would see a shopping mall or a park or a grocery store. But no. 

Why was nothing in his life ever simple? There, standing abnormally proud, towering above him was a hospital. Roman felt himself go dizzy. The sight of ambulances and patients walking in and out nearly made him feel faint. He cursed every deity he could think of for putting him in this position. 

Logan was the first to break the silence. “We apologise for doing this Roman, but it is the best thing for your health at the moment” he said in a monotone, not looking around simply staring straight ahead and not letting go of the wheel. In that moment Roman felt a twinge of fear towards the older man. 

“Kiddo… we... we um… we want you to be ok and… well… this is how we make sure you are ok. I promise you, nothing bad will happen to you while we are in there. That’s why both of us came, we want to protect you.” Patton explained, he stumbled over his words, trying to make them as comforting and motivational as possible. 

Roman stared out of the window, not taking his eyes off of the building, like if he looked away it would attack him. “I said I didn't want to go to a hospital… Remus said… he said that they would contact my parents… he said it would put me in danger. Is that why you didn't want him to come?” he asked accusingly, feeling the fury rise in him. 

Patton stuttered as he tried to find something to say until Logan cut him off. “Not to be rude Roman, but Remus knows nothing about the healthcare system if he believes such nonsense, you are eighteen, therefore you are an adult so they will, in no way, contact your parents. We will make sure of that.” He stated finally letting go of the steering wheel and pushing up his glasses. 

Roman took a deep breath. Surprisingly, Logan's bluntness had helped to clear his head. 

He opened the door “Come on then” 

-

The blinding white of the waiting room had Roman squinting. The chairs, the walls, the floor, the doors, all were stark white and it was beginning to bring on a headache. Logan had apparently phoned ahead and made an appointment with one of his friends from university. 

Dr. J Stokes. 

Logan sat to his left, bouncing his leg with crossed arms. While Patton sat on his right, flipping through some gossip magazine, Roman assumed to try and distract himself. While the prince sat hunched over, hands linked over his mouth, lost in his swirling mind. So many thoughts were going through it, too many to understand them. There was so many contradicting emotions and decisions spiralling through his brain, he couldn’t grab a hold of any of them. None came to the forefront of his thinking, instead they stayed in the very back of his subconscious, not enough to analyse them, but enough to register that they were there. 

The door opened and a person in an orange beanie and a lab coat walked through, Roman immediately noticed the non-binary pin and they/them pin on their lanyard and smiled happily at the thought of this person feeling so comfortable in themselves, he mentally made a note of their pronouns for future use. They looked at a clipboard and read the name aloud “Mr Roman Prince?” 

Roman made eye contact with them and stood up, the doctor smiled then looked to the others surrounding the teen, “Would you like them to come in with you?” 

Roman swallowed, looked to Patton and spoke “Yes please” 

Patton squeezed Roman's shoulder in support and Logan nodded to him. The teen followed the doctor down corridors, with his guardians at his heels, into a random room at the end of the hallway

Sitting in one of the vacant seats Patton let out a small sigh of relief, they were finally here, everything was going to be fine. 

Logan shook hands with the doctor “Good to see you again Joan.” 

“Same to you Logan, it’s been too long” they smiled. 

Roman took a seat next to Patton and felt his hand on his knee. He smiled subtly at the small gesture. 

The professional sat at their desk and smiled at Roman. “Hey Roman, I'm Dr Stokes, but you can call me Joan.” They extended a hand to the boy “So, what brings you in today?” 

Roman began to speak “Well… I um… well you see it’s… uh. Sorry I-… um” he bit his lip in frustration, why couldn’t he talk? 

_ Guess you still can’t fess up about what happened huh? Still weak I see… _

Roman shook away the voice. 

“Do you want us to say it kiddo?” Patton whispered. 

Roman nodded hanging his head. 

Patton nodded to Logan, who was a lot better at being straight forward, “Roman has unfortunately acquired some injuries on his back that we would like for you to take a look at. We believe the cause to have been a belt or perhaps even a knife.” Logan said, surprisingly calm despite both Roman and Patton grimacing at the harsh words. 

“That’s awful… If you could hop up on the table for me kid then we’ll get you fixed up” Joan said standing up. 

Roman took his position, sitting cross legged on the table facing away from the doctor. 

“Are you ok with removing your shirt for me?” Joan asked pulling on gloves. As an answer Roman quickly pulled the fabric over his head, resorting to ripping the band aid off quickly rather than slowly. Joan had to stop a gasp leaving their lips that the sight. Their heart really went out to this kid, his back was in a shit state. 

“I'm not going to lie to you Roman, this was worse than I was expecting,” Roman shrunk into himself “But it’s nothing I can’t help with.” The doctor smiled and immediately began to grab supplies. 

Patton and Logan watched as Joan applied antiseptic, creams and bandages to the wounds. All the while assuring Roman everything was going to be fine. Patton admired them for that.

After around half an hour, Joan stepped backwards. “There you go, all done” Roman looked around at them as if he didn't trust their words. Joan sat back at their desk allowing Roman to put his shirt on and sit down.

“There wasn’t a lot I could do in all honesty, someone had already stitched the particularly bad gashes, so really all I could do was clean them properly, put on bandages and give you pain medication.” They began to write a prescription as they spoke. “I recommend taking off the bandages after a few weeks and if they get itchy or start to hurt just take them off, put on new ones and if that doesn’t work you can always come back and I can help you out.” They finished by handing Roman the little slip of paper and shaking his hand. “Nice meeting you Roman, I wish you luck for the future, I'm rootin’ for ya kid” they said smiling. 

Roman smiled back, still not able to find his voice.

-

All three of them collapsed into the car after a stressful couple of hours. Roman looked down at the packs of tablets and bandages in his hands and couldn’t help but smile. That smile turned into a grin which morphed into laughter. 

He laughed loudly, clutching his sides and hearing Logan and Patton join in after a few moments. All of them became lost in relief and joy after constant high emotions. 

Roman spoke for the first time in a while “Thank you, both of you for all of this. I'm sorry I didn't trust you before, you were right.” 

“That’s quite alright Roman, there is no need to thank us. We simply want to see you happy and healthy.” Logan smiled at the teen in the rear-view mirror. 

Patton turned in his seat, hooking an arm around Logan's chair, “He’s right Roman, that’s all we want, we just care about you. That’s it” he smiled. “Now let’s go home to that brother of yours” 

-

Roman was the first to enter the house “Re?” he called. 

A form practically pounced on him and held him tight. “Where the flying fuck have you been?!” the teen shouted. Checking Roman over for any sign of further injury he met Roman's gaze. The younger twin noticed the tears in his brother's eyes, “I-I’ve been so worried…” he said quietly. Roman smiled and hugged him tightly.

“You have to promise not to murder anyone” he chuckled. 

Remus huffed “Fine. Just tell me where you were.” He implored. 

“Patton and Logan took me to the hospital.” Roman said carefully. 

Remus stilled. “They did whAT?!” he said loudly. The fire in his eyes growing. 

Roman held onto him to prevent him running away to attack anyone like a pissed off racoon. “Remus listen to me. It actually helped. Dr stokes looked me over and cleaned everything properly, he gave me stuff for the pain and said it should all be healed in a few weeks. No one is coming for either of us ok? Everything is fine.” Roman said begging his brother to understand. 

Remus didn't respond for a while, until Logan and Patton walked through the door. 

Despite Roman trying hard to stop him, the teen walked up to the pair, staring them down the entire time. 

Then he hugged them. 

He hugged them both tightly, tears finally flowing down his face. “Thank you… thank you for helping him” 

Neither adult was expecting this, they made eye contact with a dumbstruck Roman, who didn't seem to have any more understanding of the situation than they did. Patton giggled and wrapped his arms around the boy “Of course Remus, we care about him, just as we care about you”. 

Logan patted him on the back and cleared his throat, “Yes… well of course Remus, we wouldn’t do anything less for either of you” he said a little awkwardly. 

Virgil descended the stairs and attached himself to Roman's side carefully, laying his head on Roman's shoulder. “How you holding up Princey?” he whispered kissing his cheek. 

Roman at the scene smiling, he was filled with joy. He was safe, he was with the people he loved most in the world. 

Everything was finally working out. 

“Great. I'm doing great”


	37. Merry Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... here it is, the final chapter. its a little longer so I hope you enjoy then you can join me after to cry about it ending <3

Time flew for the strange group. 

Roman returned to school after a few days, Remy and Damien were thrilled to see him. Happy words were exchanged and smiles were permanently glued on to their faces, Remy almost never left the teen’s side for days on end. Damien would deny it for as long as he lived but all four of them knew he shed a few tears after finally seeing Roman again. The teen was in a lot less pain and got to take off the bandages a week early, despite some bad scarring he was pretty much healed. He felt free again. He was finally getting to relax, Picani had helped him with his anxiety and the voices floating through his head, so he, after years of torment, was finally stress free.

Remus returned to work despite being off so much. He worked his butt off for the entirety of December doing as much overtime as possible. Hoping that, on top of his already existing savings, he would be able to scrape enough money together to find an apartment somewhere for himself and Roman (if he chose to come with him). And that was Remus’ biggest fear, that after everything, he would have to say goodbye to his brother. He knew it would most likely not be forever, but the thought of not seeing him every day frightened him to his core. 

Logan and Patton got used to having three teens in their house. As per request Remus got a blow-up mattress in Roman's room, that way he was sure Roman was safe. Logan was well aware of most of Remus' insecurities, and tried to be as accommodating as possible. 

As for Virgil, well he was thrilled. Roman was with him for the majority of the day, and they finally got to spend actual quality time together. They talked about it for hours on end and decided they did want to pursue a relationship together. With the blessing of Virgil's dads (not without a few rules), they made it official. Virgil's anxiety had lessened and he was now seeing Dr. Picani bi-weekly instead of every week. 

-

The holiday season was fast approaching, as the teens finished school for the season and Remus booked time off of work, they all began to get ready for Christmas. 

When asked, Remus repeated again and again that he didn't want any gifts from the parents, what they had already done was enough. He was planning on getting something for them anyway, as a small thank you. But he was still attempting to save as much as possible, so that left little extra money to spend. He was wary that if he received a big present from them, then he'd look ungrateful with his much smaller and cheaper gift. 

Together the five put up decorations. Roman and Virgil were given tree duty because of their artistic eyes, Patton and Logan worked on the outside lights and Remus was given free rein on the rest of the house. They all sort of expected him to create a mess, but the end product was quite tasteful. There were golden fairy lights around the fireplace and wound around the stair case. He had used spare tinsel to decorate any areas that looked dull and boring. There was even mistletoe hanging from a doorframe, but he never told anyone. Instead opting to let them deal with it when the time came. 

The big day finally arrived. The air was crisper but somehow had a sense of joy that surrounded each member of the weird little family. 

Virgil was the first awake, he was more excited than Roman had ever seen him, he was bouncing as he gently shook Roman awake and shouted for Remus to get up as well. The twins, used to being awoken at random hours of the morning, were downstairs in less than 2 minutes. Perhaps not as excited but happy non the less. Neither Prince was expecting anything for the holidays, after all they never got anything from their parents, and the boys had only just rekindled their relationship with each other.

Patton and Logan joined them not long after the three descended the stairs. They smiled at all three of the boys’ wonder at the large pile of presents that lay under the tree. 

All of them noticed the three different wrapping papers, one was black with small reindeer on it, one was red with gold accents and the other was green with candy canes. It didn't take a genius to figure out which wrapping paper applied to each of them. 

Virgil got the nod of approval from his dad and descended on the presents like a vulture, tearing into the paper. Remus and Roman hung back, just watching, neither of them wanted to touch the parcels in case they weren't actually theirs. 

Logan had moved into the kitchen to make both himself and his husband coffee. Patton noticed the twins handing back slightly, “Those are yours kiddos, don’t be shy. Roman the red ones are yours, Remus yours are green.” He whispered nudging them forward slightly, trying to encourage them. 

Roman sent one last glance backwards to the caring eyes of the man, then took his place beside Virgil and began to unwrap his own gifts. 

Remus sat further away and looked at his pile, they actually got him things? Why? Slowly he unwrapped the presents, surprised and delighted that he had been included. Despite his slow pace, Remus finished well before Roman and Virgil. He sat back and admired the small pile of items before him. 

He had been given: A few chocolate bars; a book entitled ‘This is going to hurt’ (Remus assumed it was something medical related); a really cool notebook with sliver and black shapes that glistened in the light, and a green and black scarf. He watched as the other two finished their unwrapping and curled into each other’s arms. 

Roman had gotten: a thick red leather jacket that Remus knew he had been wanting for a while; 2 books about the knights of the round table as well as another blindingly gold book entitled ‘Lancelot’ Roman was so excited about all the wondrous tales he was able to read; crown earrings, he had been trying to wear more jewellery now he was a lot more comfortable around his peers and a red and white scarf. 

Virgil received: countless CD’s of his favourite emo bands; multiple t shirts displaying quotes from songs that he liked; more purple hair dye as his roots had begun to grow in again; a black leather bound notebook and high quality pens; a purple beanie to replace the one he had to leave behind (Roman cast a glance to him when he opened it); a new expensive fidget cube that he immediately tucked into his hoodie pocket and a purple and black scarf. 

Virgil explained to the two that his dad knitted something for everyone each year. 

“Last year it was holiday sweaters so count yourself lucky” he chuckled. 

Remus could help looking at the mounds of items the other two had accumulated, he wouldn’t deny he felt a little left out. He didn't say he wanted anything, and that still stood, he just felt like he was sort of forgotten about. But the thoughts in his head berated him for being so ungrateful and jealous of something he didn't ask for, in fact something he outwardly turned down. 

Virgil and Roman whispered to each other before running upstairs, leaving Remus alone on the floor. He was surrounded by golden light, the smell of coffee, the atmosphere that came with Christmas, and yet… none of those things made him crack a smile. 

Footsteps returning to the room made him look up, both Roman and Virgil had descended with gift bags in hand. 

Virgil called out “Dad? Can you two come in here please?” 

Roman sat cross legged next to his brother waiting for everyone to join them. He leant onto him and let out a happy sigh. 

“Isn’t this great Re? Our first real Christmas in years” he whispered smiling wider by the second. 

Remus wrapped his arm around his twin “I have to agree brother, it’s a pleasant change of scenery.” He said as he returned Roman's expression. 

Virgil smiled as the two adults took their seats, “Ok, me and Roman have gifts so… you wanna go first Princey?” he asked. Roman sat up, wiggling out of his brother's embrace and digging around in his bag. 

“Ok, Mr Patton this one is for you,” he said handing the man in question a soft looking package “And Mr Logan, this is yours” 

“You didn't have to do this Roman thank you” Patton grinned.

Both men smiled as they unwrapped their presents, Patton gasped as he saw the gift. It was a winnie the pooh cuddly toy, holding a jar of honey. The man wrapped Roman in his arms rambling how sweet it was and how much he loved it. Logan was equally happy with his gift, a book by Agatha Christie entitled ‘The Mousetrap’. Roman had heard of the play and thought that with his love of puzzles and mystery, Logan would appreciate the story line. The man smiled and muttered a small “Thank you Roman” clearly not used to over the top reactions, unlike his husband. 

The prince passed a heavy looking parcel to Virgil who attacked the present with little hesitation. Inside was the complete collection of the tv show ‘Lucifer’. 

“You said you wanted to watch it so… here” Roman said.

Virgil looked up at him and jumped towards him, slamming their lips together. Roman made a noise of confusion before reciprocating the kiss. Remus rolled his eyes, while Patton squealed and Logan shook his head smiling. When they broke apart Virgil said quietly “Thanks Ro, we can watch it together”

Roman then turned to Remus, holding out a neatly wrapped box. Remus smiled and took the it, it was a lot heavier than he thought. He noticed Roman's bit lip and expectant gaze. He ripped open the box quickly and stared at the contents. 

Inside where 6 metal shurikens, sharpened until they sparkled. A note was attached, in Roman's fancy handwriting it read_ ‘To Remus, hopefully they can replace the old ones’ _he felt the edges of his eyes sting. 

“Y-you got me… shurikens?” he asked dumbfounded. 

Roman chuckled nervously “Well I know you had to leave your morning star behind, so I wanted to get you a new one, but I couldn’t find any that were for sale… so I got you these instead… Do you like them?” 

Remus sat for a moment. “Like them? Roman I love them. They are so sharp, screw that morning star these are so cool!” he laughed, picking one up carefully he twisted it in his hands. Feeling the cold metal in his grasp brought on some of his old confidence. These were so well made, they were sturdy and clearly durable, they felt like they could do some real damage too. “Thank you so much Roman” he grinned. Roman nodded, unable to find words. 

Virgil immediately dug into his bag and handed two items to his parents. He sat back and eagerly awaited their reactions, he got Patton an apron, on it was a cute cartoon koala drinking tea with the words ‘My puns are’ above it. Patton began to laugh, “I love it! Great pun too Virge!” he giggled. 

“I'm not quite sure I understand, care to explain?” his husband said in between sips of black coffee. 

Patton smiled and held up the apron “My puns are koala tea… quality! Do you get it?” he asked before dissolving into fits of giggles again. 

Logan simply pinched the bridge of his nose and opened his own gift. It was a heat changing galaxy mug, or so the packaging advertised. Logan opened the box with a raised eyebrow and poured some of his steaming drink into it. Sure enough, the normally black mug transformed into a purple, blue and pink galaxy. Logan's mouth twitched and he looked to his son. “Thank you, Virgil, this is extremely uh… lit? Is that the correct usage?” 

Virgil snorted and the twins both tried to hide their giggles. 

“Please never use that again” Virgil begged, still chuckling he handed Remus his present. 

Inside was a green mug with a black moustache decorating it, and sitting in the mug was a small yet adorable octopus plushie. 

“This is… so… nice” Remus managed to choke out. Even the smallest of things were beginning to tip him over the edge of emotion, he was expecting nothing, but got so much out of a holiday he never really celebrated. It was touching. 

Virgil nodded in a silent understanding, he turned to Roman and eagerly thrusted a small long cuboid into his grasp. Roman's smile grew as he took in the item. A small replica of Excalibur, gold painted handle, intricately detailed crest and shiny blade that looked like it could cut tin.

“Look at the inscription” Virgil pointed, biting his lip. 

_’Roman, never hang up your sword, always remain the brave prince that you are. Love Virgil.’ _

Roman read it aloud, which he soon realised was a mistake as he broke down a second later, holding Virgil tightly and crying happy tears. 

Remus watched for a moment, before sneaking away to grab his own gifts to distribute. He felt a little nervous grabbing the pile from the room. He hadn't had much time or money to get decent gifts. 

He returned to see a now calm Roman holding Virgil as they spoke quietly. The adults’ hands were intertwined as they too shared soft words. Remus cleared his throat. 

“I um… I have stuff too. Just don’t expect too much, they're really shit…” he trailed off. 

“Language kiddo.” Patton reprimanded. 

Remus muttered an apology and handed the couple their presents. 

Logan's was first, it was a novelty tie. It was decorated with stars and constellations. Remus had found it in a second hand store for 3 dollars. It wasn’t the most glamorous, yet Logan smiled wide as if he just received a personalised jar of crofters. “This is magnificent, thank you Remus, I truly appreciate it” he said, his tone didn’t give away his emotions, but his face did. All Remus saw was joy and gratitude. **He must be joking. **

Patton was next, inside a small box was plaque, it was made of slate and read ‘Every adventure starts with a first step’ a quote from the Cheshire cat. Remus figured that Patton's love of Disney wasn’t that far from Roman's so he'd appreciate it. Maybe it was more fitted for Roman. Perhaps it was a bit too strange or maybe it didn't go with the house so he would never put it up. “Thank you, Remus! This is so neat! I’ll put it right now, Logan where can it go?” he asked standing up. Logan pointed to the kitchen where there was plenty of wall space, still marvelling at his tie. Patton emerged a minute later and encircled Remus with his arms, thanking him again and again for the sweet gift. **This wasn’t possible. **

Then Remus handed Virgil's to him. It was an old spider plush, it used to be attached to a web but it had since fallen off. It was another thrift store find, only one dollar but Remus supposed it was cute. Virgil's eyes lit up when he saw it. “Oh wow, this is so cute. I'm naming him…. uh Roman what’s a good name for a spider?” 

“Aragog? Then he shall be kind of the arachnids!” he declared. 

Virgil nodded “Yeah, Aragog, I like it. Thanks, Re, this is going to have pride of place on my shelf” he smiled. **There was no way he was serious. **

Finally came Roman's gift, Remus had tried to spend a bit more on his brother's present but wasn’t able to find much in his price range. 

It was a small box that held a ring, it was of a red emblem. With a golden castle in the centre, surrounded by waves, lighting bolts and scrolls that seemed to appear from nowhere. The moment he saw it he thought of Roman. The band was plain gold but Remus had the inside engraved with a small ‘R’. 

Roman put it on his ring finger straight away, admiring the way it glittered in the light. He turned to his brother, tackling him in a hug “This is the greatest gift I have ever received. I love it so much brother, thank you” 

Remus returned the embrace pressing his face into his brother's shoulder. 

Logan broke the silence. 

“We actually have another present for each of you two” he said retreating into his study. 

Patton watched him leave before turning to his son “Virge you know you're going to a twenty-one pilots concert next year so there’s no more surprises for you, kiddo” he said apologetically. 

Virgil smiled and punched the air “It’s gonna be so good!” he exclaimed just as Logan returned with two envelopes, one significantly fatter than the other. 

“Roman, you first” he said handing the teen the thinner one. 

All eyes were on Roman as he pulled out a slip of card. His mouth hung open and his eyes were wide. “Broadway tickets? Are you kidding me?” he looked up trying to find some sort of trick in the men’s eyes.

Patton shook his head “Nope, we know how much you love musicals so we got 3 tickets to go and see West Side Story in March.” He grinned. 

“Oh, great Odin’s eye patch. For the love of all things Disney! This is incredible! I can’t believe you actually… I'm going to see a Broadway show!” he shouted nearly screaming from excitement. 

Logan turned to Remus, “This is for you” he said handing the hefty envelope to him. 

Patton spoke “Before you open it, we want you to know that this is yours. We want to make sure you are happy and safe, we know it may not be enough but… just open it” he smiled. 

Remus looked at them both confused. He opened the seal and marvelled at the wads of notes nestled inside. 

He ran his thumb over the bills trying to comprehend what he was experiencing. 

“It’s only $700 dollars. We know it’s not enough to provide everything for you, but hopefully it can go towards a deposit for your own place.” Logan said, still standing watching the teen’s reactions. 

“I-I can’t accept this. It’s too much, I just…” he sat dumbfounded. 

“Of course, you can, you can finally get some of your freedom back, it’s the least we can do for you Remus”

The teen stared up at the adults, unable to comprehend what this was. This wasn’t real, he had never held this much money in his hands before. This would help him so much and what did he give in return? A novelty tie and a plaque. Which together cost maybe 7 dollars total. 7 dollars for 700. It was incomprehensible. 

The teen stood up, Patton spoke again “Is it going to be enough kiddo?” 

“Enough? It’s so much more than enough, for god’s sake you two are incredible.” Remus said, hugging them both as tight as he could. Tears began to fall down his face, this would alter his entire life, he would be able to get his own place. Roman would even be able to come too. They would finally be free, they would be comfortable, provided for. 

It was mind blowing. 

-

Both twins’ lives had changed permanently, they left behind a family they had grown to avoid and try to please at every opportunity, and they found a new one. A family that they both new would be there for them, would help them to grow and find their feet. 

Thanks to these people… 

Their new, brighter futures were within reach. 

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any questions or requests for chapters (e.g backs stories, dates between established couples, more in depth scenarios or anything mentioned as a past event) then leave them in the comments. Anyway, have a nice day/night!


End file.
